Bismarck, the iron man of the world, said, `We men rule the world, our womenfolk rule us' during an era when women had no role in social, religious and secular or political fields, other than managing the household affairs that make her as the custodian of grooming children and her husband as the rulers and spiritual magnets of the society. Woman is a goddess to her children and a manager of the household, which is the cradle of civilization. To mange the family is an honour and invite influence upon the children and fellow beings. Prostrating at the feet of one's mother is a common etiquette and considered as a blessing, as the matriarchal system has a strong hold in Asian culture, while the patriarchal genealogy and importance cherished and survived in Judeo-Christian set-up. The patriarchal system gives recognition to the father as the head of family, whereas the power base and strength that hold influence over the children and their bringing up rests on mainly the mother who suckle and nurture the young ones for 24/7 responsibility.
Father, therefore, is only a public face and mother all in all for the children and the family, though the roles of the both are inseparably important and indecisive, one's for mainly protection and sovereignty and the other one for the building house, Ps.127; 128, and above all submitting everything to the Creator Almighty. Woman in the matriarchal system enjoyed both duties, at least symbolically. Respecting and obeying the allocation of duties in Eden continued naturally till the dawn of the women's liberation movement, which gathered momentum for sex equality on the basis of same pay for same job. Poet Kunchen Nambiar wrote couple of centuries ago, `kallu kanake kadinam hredayam, allathullaval durlabhamallo'- scarce is the woman who is not stonehearted'.
Muscular or nervous strength that given to man is to protect the species from outside forces and from wild animals, while mental strength given to woman is for endurance, perseverance, forgetfulness, forgiveness and patience, sympathy, the indispensable ingredients for nurturing up the young ones and building up home. Like a tendril that grows with the support of a tree she acquires maturity and stability in course of time by being a companion to her husband. During her maturing period by childbirth, 1.Cor.2, as Barnard Shaw puts it, `There is no no in the no of a woman' may be true, because she forgives everything for the family or that is the way she is constituted with. Such a description of fickle nature of description as `woman a soft vessel', 1.Pet.3, 7, comes in unison with `frailty, thy name is woman' Shakespeare- exemplifies her mental frame. By the time she give birth few children she builds strength and force in her attitude and nature, as a bundle of contradictions. As we can't live a full normal life with one leg or hand, two complementing partners are needed for a full and perfect life. Marriage is a sacrament that is to be honoured by giving respect and obedience.
Marriage is an agreement with two families; the dear and near ones are also to be the silent contractors in a marriage. The fanciful culture of the mother-in-law becomes the rival or enemy of her daughter-in-law and that continues till the daughter-in-law gains robustness and custodian of her husband and household. As long as the mother-in-law holds the household and her son as her fortress, the internal fight continues until she gets `calm of mind by all passion spent'. The daughter-in-law, when she becomes a mother-in-law, follows at the footprints of her own mother-in-law. This is a cycle that continues till the close of the age. As this jealousy is the root cause of all tensions, a woman is not fully qualified to work in the society because the reflection of the same will be everywhere, the reason of wise saying, `woman is woman's own enemy', the fiery imperialist women liberators to unite together to rule the silent majority with some cheap and cosmetics baits. To rule over others is passion that triggers us when time becomes ripe.
As jealousy and unhappiness is the root cause of tensions, she finds it difficulty to adjust with the added family members from outside by matrimony. Fluctuations in her thoughts, capriciousness of moods and whimsicalities play a greater role as a mother in her maturing years. One world- renowned person said in the engagement ceremony to delete the part `I obey you' from the wedding ceremony. As soon I came to know that, my reaction was that it wouldn't end up in a comedy. Accusations and speculations and intermediaries tried to avoid the divorce, but it was in vain, and ended in the tragic death of her. Marriage is a sacrament that is to be honoured by giving respect with obedience.
Woman a mysterious secret, `Rahasium', as portrayed by people of wisdom and experience has sufficient depths and meanings. If a woman fears and respects her husband, Eph.5, 33, the children revere their parents, especially the father; if she dishonours him, the children tend to hate their father, but not the mother to that extent because she is the one who was connected to them by the umbilical cord and sucked her character and vitality. This is why woman is considered as the home builder. But a brain woman exploits this truth and get the head weight by pulling the partner down for her supremacy. Thus a woman may go to the extent of harming him just as the hen, which fights to the cock and also against others for its young ones. The inherent maternal instincts and chemical magnetism may flare up in all the venues they work, hence she was restricted by Nature to work in society and crowned her with mother's duty, a full time job, but not in the sophisticated consumerism that created a wayward mob of idle gossipers for want of household work. The one time recipient overpowering the masculine giver in later years is a reality and an irony of life; thereby she is more capable of looking after the giver in the evening of their lives. The tensions and pressures break down a man, but she seasons out with her tongue due to the power vested in by Nature. This generalization has many exceptions and variance.
Both man and woman, puff of the wind or moving shadows, should know their limits; either of them can't afford to control the complementary roles given as a gift for reproducing children of the divine order to accomplish in accomplishing their duties. The super power of woman's building authority of the family shouldn't encounter with man's authority; a power imbalance may tilt the globe in an intractable manner. Man's nervous courage diminishes; while woman's mental courage grows as soon as she overcome the fickleness and capriciousness with the advancement of age. Adultery is the oldest profession and her complicity in it proves that she is daring and ruthless like man, even though she was put under so much restriction by her role functions.
Blaming man alone for domestic violence of these days is not a balanced conclusion. Dating, de facto relationship and drug and liquor addiction at the dead of the night at the mixed club and restaurant life making man a slave of woman's dominance against the role functions of both, resulting in a slothful dysfunctional family life. One proves to be an ignorant person if he/she ignores the hand power of man and the tongue might of woman at critical junctures in life. He uses the hand involuntarily when her abusive and loose tongue uses as a powerful weapon. Thus criminality is multiplied and murders by various means are committed as a result of all kinds of street freedom, the latest is online dating. `Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain'
.,Ps.127,1. Acrimony and misunderstanding can occur occasionally when two human animals from different households are joined together for life. Forgiveness is the only answer. Religious philanthropists or altruists like Mr.Carter making such an opinion without going deep into the the role functions and the human history will have to be treated as regretful.
In the next part I may dwell upon the synopsis of the 3-dimensional roles woman carries and the detrimental impact that has made in the global society.
Will follow in part-24