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Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Re: Manuscript swap

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  • L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright
    Worry not! Not only do we all make such mistakes, we re a reading group. You can t go wrong by sending us stuff to read.;-) ... From: Surrey Hughes To:
    Message 1 of 18 , Nov 1, 2011
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      Worry not!
       
      Not only do we all make such mistakes, we're a reading group. You can't go wrong by sending us stuff to read.;-)
       
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 22:12
      Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Re: Manuscript swap

       

      Well, oops.  I sent that around to everyone.  Not what I intended.  Feel free to read and send me comments or just delete and ignore.

      I'm feeling a little embarrassed right now.

       
      Surrey.



      To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
      From: Surreyhughes@...
      Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2011 12:54:31 +1100
      Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Re: Manuscript swap

       

      Hi Steph,
      I like the concept of Maddy (Medusa derived I'm guessing) and her snaky head.  I tend more toward epic fantasy, but I'd love to read over your book.  I'll warn you in advance that I can produce a fair bit of red ink (as it were) but don't take any of it personally, it would just be my thoughts on opportunities you might take advantage of.  Having said that, I'll keep in mind that you're looking for overall and general type comments, much like me so if you feel brave enough (and you should) send me a copy and I'll see where we get to.  I'm happy with pretty much any format (pdf, doc, docx, rtf, html etc...).


      I've attached my manuscript in PDF format.  I would simply ask that you don't forward it around, but rather give people my email address or get them to contact me through http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com if there are others who want to read it.  The only reason is that I need to keep control of what version is going where so I can be sure I'm responding to feedback that is current.  Otherwise I'm afraid I'll chase my own tail.
      Having said that, I'm always happy for people to read my work and give me their impressions of it.  Don't feel you are being cruel or mean by picking holes.  I'm big enough and ugly enough to handle criticism.

      The main things I'm looking for:
       - Consistency: Does the book read like one book or does the style change around too much?
       - Interest: Is the story interesting.  I'm hoping to write two more books in this series (as all good epic fantasy is at least a trilogy)
       - Personal reaction: Just your overall feeling and thoughts.  What sort of age of reader does this work for, are the characters sympathetic, does it have a "fantasy" sort of feel.  Whatever.
       - Anything else you feel like commenting on.

      I'm fairly happy that there aren't any major grammatical or spelling errors but feel free to mention anything that is confusing or is plain wrong.

       
      Surrey.



      To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
      From: stephking68@...
      Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:03:19 +0000
      Subject: [MagicalWordsBetas] Re: Manuscript swap

       
      I've hesitated to throw my hat (or MS) into the ring so far because I had a feeling that it might get overwhelming. If there is interest in a round robin I would be up for it, and for reading Winter's Dawn. I read a fair amount of urban fantasy. I am in the UK.

      I have an 82K urban/contemporary fantasy with romantic elements about a gorgon coming out of her cave and trying to live as human. Since I've been working on my query:

      Gorgons are supposed to hide in caves and wait to be killed by heroes, but Maddy Hughes thinks the world owes her more than loneliness followed by a violent death. She wants to hide the snakes
      under a headscarf and build a future for herself that doesn't involve a granite-jawed murderer with a mirror and a sharp, pointy object.

      When she moves to a small English town, Wilford, and meets Jake, she thinks maybe she has a chance at that future, but Jake has more of an interest in the paranormal than is healthy for a man with a monster closer than he thinks. His quest for the strange brings a hero their way, a hunter who thinks Jake might have what it takes to become a monster hunter too.

      When Jake finds out what she is and loves her anyway, Maddy realises she has a chance at everything she dreamed of, but only if she can accept his new career. As other monsters start dying, Maddy is going to have to decide whose side she is on.

      There are four fade to black sex scenes.

      It has been read and revised with the help of writing buddies, but I'm looking for additional outside feedback to get a spread of comments before (whimpering, fingers crossed) the final draft. I need big picture comments, with pacing and relatability of the main character the key issues.

      Steph

      --- In MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com, Sarah Adams <sadams@...> wrote:
      >
      > Hello all!
      >
      > Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond
      > sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we
      > do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then
      > we can rotate readers if people have time.
      >
      > Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy,
      > so I have the background you're asking for.
      >
      > Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to
      > change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC,
      > is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her
      > heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be
      > paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming
      > the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate
      > violence.
      >
      > :) Sarah
      >

      > --
      > Sarah Adams
      > Associate Professor, English Department
      > Azusa Pacific University
      > 901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
      > ext 3104
      >



    • Laura Taylor
      Okay, nevermind. I m in, unless the swapping s already occurred. To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com From: lstaylor@live.ca Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35
      Message 2 of 18 , Nov 10, 2011
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        Okay, nevermind.

        I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


        To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
        From: lstaylor@...
        Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
        Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

         

        I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

        Cheers,
        Laura


        To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
        From: sadams@...
        Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
        Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

         
        Hello all!

        Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

        Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

        Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

        :) Sarah 

        On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
         
        Ok,
        I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

        I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

        I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

        My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
        I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
        Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
        Thank you.





        --
        Sarah Adams
        Associate Professor, English Department
        Azusa Pacific University
        901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
        ext 3104



      • Surrey Hughes
        Hi,I ve replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right). I ll be finished the current manuscript I m reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets
        Message 3 of 18 , Nov 10, 2011
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          Hi,
          I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right).  I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame. 

           
          Surrey.



          To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
          From: lstaylor@...
          Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
          Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

           

          Okay, nevermind.

          I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


          To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
          From: lstaylor@...
          Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
          Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

           

          I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

          Cheers,
          Laura


          To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
          From: sadams@...
          Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
          Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

           
          Hello all!

          Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

          Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

          Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

          :) Sarah 

          On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
           
          Ok,
          I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

          I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

          I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

          My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
          I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
          Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
          Thank you.





          --
          Sarah Adams
          Associate Professor, English Department
          Azusa Pacific University
          901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
          ext 3104




        • Sarah Adams
          I m still doing the swap if someone wants to swap with me. :) Sarah / Levedi ... -- Sarah Adams Associate Professor, English Department Azusa Pacific
          Message 4 of 18 , Nov 10, 2011
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            I'm still doing the swap if someone wants to swap with me.  :)

            Sarah / Levedi



            On Thu, Nov 10, 2011 at 2:38 PM, Laura Taylor <lstaylor@...> wrote:
             

            Okay, nevermind.

            I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


            To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
            From: lstaylor@...
            Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
            Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

             

            I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

            Cheers,
            Laura


            To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
            From: sadams@...
            Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
            Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

             
            Hello all!

            Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

            Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

            Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

            :) Sarah 

            On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
             
            Ok,
            I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

            I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

            I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

            My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
            I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
            Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
            Thank you.





            --
            Sarah Adams
            Associate Professor, English Department
            Azusa Pacific University
            901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
            ext 3104






            --
            Sarah Adams
            Associate Professor, English Department
            Azusa Pacific University
            901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
            ext 3104

          • Katherine Petersen
            Hi Everyone, I m currently reading Surrey s manuscript, and while I m not a fiction writer, I regularly review for SfSite and Specusphere and am happy to read
            Message 5 of 18 , Nov 21, 2011
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              Hi Everyone,

               

              I’m currently reading Surrey’s manuscript, and while I’m not a fiction writer, I regularly review for SfSite and Specusphere and am happy to read any manuscripts for whatever you want, whether it’s more on the high level side or more detailed. Faith Hunter introduced me to this group, and I’m happy to help out for anyone who needs/wants a beta reader who has read a lot of science fiction and fantasy of all kinds from urban to epic. So, Laura or anyone else, who wants another set of eyes, let me know.

               

              Cheers,

              --Katherine

               

              From: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com [mailto:MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Surrey Hughes
              Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2011 4:24 PM
              To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
              Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

               

               

              Hi,

              I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right).  I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame. 

               
              Surrey.


              To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
              From: lstaylor@...
              Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
              Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

               

               

              Okay, nevermind.

              I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


              To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
              From: lstaylor@...
              Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
              Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

               

               

              I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

              Cheers,
              Laura


              To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
              From: sadams@...
              Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
              Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

               

              Hello all!

               

              Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

               

              Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

               

              Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

               

              :) Sarah 

              On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:

               

              Ok,
              I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

              I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

              I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

              My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
              I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
              Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
              Thank you.



               

              --
              Sarah Adams

              Associate Professor, English Department

              Azusa Pacific University

              901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720

              ext 3104

               

               

               

               

            • L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright
              Cool! I don t have anything at the moment. One book is on my editor s desk (he says he s reading it) the other is just being written...but I may in a month or
              Message 6 of 18 , Nov 21, 2011
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                Cool!
                 
                I don't have anything at the moment. One book is on my editor's desk (he says he's reading it) the other is just being written...but I may in a month or so.
                 
                ----- Original Message -----
                Sent: Monday, November 21, 2011 18:01
                Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                 

                Hi Everyone,

                I’m currently reading Surrey’s manuscript, and while I’m not a fiction writer, I regularly review for SfSite and Specusphere and am happy to read any manuscripts for whatever you want, whether it’s more on the high level side or more detailed. Faith Hunter introduced me to this group, and I’m happy to help out for anyone who needs/wants a beta reader who has read a lot of science fiction and fantasy of all kinds from urban to epic. So, Laura or anyone else, who wants another set of eyes, let me know.

                Cheers,

                --Katherine

                From: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com [mailto:MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Surrey Hughes
                Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2011 4:24 PM
                To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                 

                Hi,

                I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right).  I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame. 

                 
                Surrey.


                To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                From: lstaylor@...
                Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
                Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                 

                Okay, nevermind.

                I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


                To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                From: lstaylor@...
                Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
                Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                 

                I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

                Cheers,
                Laura


                To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
                From: sadams@...
                Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
                Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                 

                Hello all!

                Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

                Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

                Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

                :) Sarah 

                On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:

                 

                Ok,
                I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

                I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

                I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

                My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
                I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
                Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
                Thank you.



                --
                Sarah Adams

                Associate Professor, English Department

                Azusa Pacific University

                901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720

                ext 3104

              • Laura Taylor
                Hi Surrey, I just realized that I never checked in with you. I sent you what I thought was the final copy that I needed to work on, and then the next day I
                Message 7 of 18 , Nov 21, 2011
                • 0 Attachment
                  Hi Surrey,

                  I just realized that I never checked in with you. I sent you what I thought was the final copy that I needed to work on, and then the next day I started to process the information that the agent gave me in her personalized rejection. Jagi helped me figure out a few things I could do to improve the story. If you've started reading Sign of the Star already, that's fine, but I should be finished the fixes by Wednesday at the latest. Please let me know.

                  Cheers,
                  Laura


                  To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                  From: Surreyhughes@...
                  Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:24:07 +1100
                  Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                   

                  Hi,
                  I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right).  I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame. 

                   
                  Surrey.



                  To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                  From: lstaylor@...
                  Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
                  Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                   

                  Okay, nevermind.

                  I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.


                  To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                  From: lstaylor@...
                  Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
                  Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                   

                  I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.

                  Cheers,
                  Laura


                  To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
                  From: sadams@...
                  Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
                  Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap

                   
                  Hello all!

                  Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time. 

                  Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.

                  Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's  called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.

                  :) Sarah 

                  On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
                   
                  Ok,
                  I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.

                  I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)

                  I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.

                  My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
                  I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
                  Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
                  Thank you.





                  --
                  Sarah Adams
                  Associate Professor, English Department
                  Azusa Pacific University
                  901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720
                  ext 3104





                • ladychipmunk
                  Hey, everyone, Remember me? I ve been massively swamped in real life and vanished for a bit. However, things are starting to slow down a bit and while I do
                  Message 8 of 18 , Nov 22, 2011
                  • 0 Attachment
                    Hey, everyone,

                    Remember me? I've been massively swamped in real life and vanished for a bit. However, things are starting to slow down a bit and while I do not yet have a full manuscript to share, I would love to be able to help if anyone still needs/wants it. I'm not a huge fan of epic fantasy and so not a great reader for that, but I could do anything else.

                    I expect to have a complete draft of my novel soonish (within the next few months assuming things stay relatively calm) and at that point would love feedback.

                    Thanks,
                    Jamie

                    Hello, all,--- In MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com, Laura Taylor <lstaylor@...> wrote:
                    >
                    >
                    > Hi Surrey,
                    >
                    > I just realized that I never checked in with you. I sent you what I thought was the final copy that I needed to work on, and then the next day I started to process the information that the agent gave me in her personalized rejection. Jagi helped me figure out a few things I could do to improve the story. If you've started reading Sign of the Star already, that's fine, but I should be finished the fixes by Wednesday at the latest. Please let me know.
                    >
                    > Cheers,
                    > Laura
                    >
                    > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                    > From: Surreyhughes@...
                    > Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:24:07 +1100
                    > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Hi,I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right). I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame.
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Surrey.
                    >
                    >
                    > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                    > From: lstaylor@...
                    > Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
                    > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Okay, nevermind.
                    >
                    > I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.
                    >
                    > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                    > From: lstaylor@...
                    > Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
                    > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.
                    >
                    > Cheers,
                    > Laura
                    >
                    > To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
                    > From: sadams@...
                    > Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
                    > Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Hello all!
                    >
                    > Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time.
                    >
                    >
                    > Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.
                    > Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.
                    >
                    >
                    > :) Sarah
                    >
                    > On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Ok,
                    >
                    > I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
                    >
                    > Thank you.
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > --
                    > Sarah AdamsAssociate Professor, English DepartmentAzusa Pacific University901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720ext 3104
                    >
                  • L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright
                    Nice to hear from you again! ... From: ladychipmunk To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2011 07:16 Subject: [MagicalWordsBetas]
                    Message 9 of 18 , Nov 22, 2011
                    • 0 Attachment
                      Nice to hear from you again!
                       
                      ----- Original Message -----
                      Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2011 07:16
                      Subject: [MagicalWordsBetas] Re: Manuscript swap

                       

                      Hey, everyone,

                      Remember me? I've been massively swamped in real life and vanished for a bit. However, things are starting to slow down a bit and while I do not yet have a full manuscript to share, I would love to be able to help if anyone still needs/wants it. I'm not a huge fan of epic fantasy and so not a great reader for that, but I could do anything else.

                      I expect to have a complete draft of my novel soonish (within the next few months assuming things stay relatively calm) and at that point would love feedback.

                      Thanks,
                      Jamie

                      Hello, all,--- In MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com, Laura Taylor <lstaylor@...> wrote:
                      >
                      >
                      > Hi Surrey,
                      >
                      > I just realized that I never checked in with you. I sent you what I thought was the final copy that I needed to work on, and then the next day I started to process the information that the agent gave me in her personalized rejection. Jagi helped me figure out a few things I could do to improve the story. If you've started reading Sign of the Star already, that's fine, but I should be finished the fixes by Wednesday at the latest. Please let me know.
                      >
                      > Cheers,
                      > Laura
                      >
                      > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                      > From: Surreyhughes@...
                      > Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:24:07 +1100
                      > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Hi,I've replied privately to Laura (this time I remembered to do it right). I'll be finished the current manuscript I'm reading by Wednesday and if Laura gets back to me before then, I'll probably finish hers by the following week so if anyone more would like me to read their book, you know the time frame.
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Surrey.
                      >
                      >
                      > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                      > From: lstaylor@...
                      > Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:38:01 -0800
                      > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Okay, nevermind.
                      >
                      > I'm in, unless the swapping's already occurred.
                      >
                      > To: magicalwordsbetas@yahoogroups.com
                      > From: lstaylor@...
                      > Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:14:35 -0700
                      > Subject: RE: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > I think I'll have to sit this one out, though it's something I'm keen on doing. For one thing, I said before, NaNo is nigh, though that isn't my only reason. If anyone's interested in sharing after December 1st, then I might be game.
                      >
                      > Cheers,
                      > Laura
                      >
                      > To: MagicalWordsBetas@yahoogroups.com
                      > From: sadams@...
                      > Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:49:24 -0700
                      > Subject: Re: [MagicalWordsBetas] Manuscript swap
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Hello all!
                      >
                      > Okay, I've been totally swamped lately, which is why I didn't respond sooner, but here's a thought since most of us are also swamped. Why don't we do a round robin type swap, rather than everybody reading every body? Then we can rotate readers if people have time.
                      >
                      >
                      > Surrey - I'd like to read yours. I'm a medievalist and I like epic fantasy, so I have the background you're asking for.
                      > Would anybody like to read my WIP? It's called Winter's Dawn (gonna have to change that one) and is an urban fantasy set in Buffalo NY. Harvey, the MC, is a single mom working in the steel mills who's trying to suppress her heritage as a berserker. But her brother, also a berserker, is due to be paroled in a few weeks and he may be behind the rash of ice demons roaming the streets of Buffalo. There's also some light romance, and moderate violence.
                      >
                      >
                      > :) Sarah
                      >
                      > On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:56 PM, surreyhughes <Surreyhughes@...> wrote:
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Ok,
                      >
                      > I've finished my final (and I use that term loosely) revision of my novel. There was some back and forth lately regarding manuscript swaps so let's get it happening.
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > I'm more or less happy with my book, but I would like someone who is familiar with epic fantasy (you know, other world roughly similar to medieval Europe but with magic and monsters and obviously not Europe) to read through my work as a complete novel and give feedback regarding overall pace, feel and whether it makes sense or not. I'm not really looking for detailed critique (that would take ages anyway) but just some idea of if I've managed to write a novel or not. :)
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > I'd like to do the same for someone else. So a finished novel that you think you may start shopping around but you'd like a little feedback first to make sure you haven't done something dreadful.
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > My manuscript is approximately 100,000 words (MS word says 98,247 but that's nit picking), would probably get a PG rating if it was a movie (so no sex, no harsh swearing, some violence and the occasional spooky bit).
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > I'll email it directly to anyone who wants to swap rather than post it up here for general consumption (for fear agents / editors hear wind that I've "published" it already online or something like that).
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > Contact me by replying here or through my blog: http://sjohnhughes.wordpress.com
                      >
                      > Thank you.
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > --
                      > Sarah AdamsAssociate Professor, English DepartmentAzusa Pacific University901 E. Alosta Ave, Azusa CA 91720ext 3104
                      >

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