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Re: Identifying self

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  • tirasm886
    I reread your post a couple times. Being ostracized must ve been tough on you, especially as a teenager. I ve never really went through any of the racism (only
    Message 1 of 5 , May 1 1:56 PM
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      I reread your post a couple times. Being ostracized
      must've been tough on you, especially as a teenager.
      I've never really went through any of the racism
      (only being jeered for talking and acting too "proper" and
      how my mother couldn't be my biological mother because she was
      "too light-skinned," or "white-looking," whereas I'm more of a
      caramel complexion, which was total BS not to mention ignorant),
      so it's pretty helpful to learn about someone else's experiences,
      although not being able to relate, it makes it all the better.
      Spiral, as a teenager, were there times you ever considered
      on identifying yourself as "black" as your other
      brother, or just as other as your oldest brother?
      Although you did face a lot of hardship, were there any
      black / white kids that befriend you in elementary / high school?
    • spiralstair313
      I always viewed myself as Mixed . I considered myself as white as anyone else and as black as anyone else. I have always been an individual, not one to
      Message 2 of 5 , May 2 10:46 AM
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        I always viewed myself as "Mixed".
        I considered myself as "white" as anyone
        else and as "black" as anyone else.
        I have always been an individual, not one to
        follow a crowd. I was always proud to be unique.
        My 1st best friend in 2nd grade was black.
        My best friend in 3rd grade was White.
        I didn't have best friends after that.
        I had classmates who were school friends.
        These were the people who sat by me
        because of alphabetical listing.
        I was a talkative person at times and
        could usually chat about anything.
        My classroom friends were who I ate lunch
        with and got on teams with in gymn.
        You were lucky not to get the exclusion.
        However, my exclusion ended in college.
        Since then, I have tended to exclude people who
        do not measure up to my standards of toleration.



        In MGM-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
        "tirasm886" <Hollcher@...> wrote:



        I reread your post a couple times. Being ostracized
        must've been tough on you, especially as a teenager.
        I've never really went through any of the racism
        (only being jeered for talking and acting too "proper" and
        how my mother couldn't be my biological mother because she was
        "too light-skinned," or "white-looking," whereas I'm more of a
        caramel complexion, which was total BS not to mention ignorant),
        so it's pretty helpful to learn about someone else's experiences,
        although not being able to relate, it makes it all the better.
        Spiral, as a teenager, were there times you ever considered
        on identifying yourself as "black" as your other
        brother, or just as other as your oldest brother?
        Although you did face a lot of hardship, were there any
        black / white kids that befriend you in elementary / high school?
      • kasturi
        Your post reminds me of the difference in self-perception between myself and the daughter of a friend of my mother s who shared the same Moroccan heritage.
        Message 3 of 5 , May 4 1:11 AM
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          Your post reminds me of the difference in self-perception
          between myself and the daughter of a friend of my
          mother's who shared the same Moroccan heritage.
          Margie and I resembled each other and had a 'golden' color
          to our skin, and thick very curly/wavy gold-brown hair.
          I identified as White and she did not.
          I don't think she identified as black either, and I'd
          love to know just how she conceptualized herself,
          probably as 'Mixed' or possibly as 'berber.'
          I only know she referred to 'whites' as 'they,' and
          she once said to me 'you don't know, do you.' bingo.
          I always thought she was White, but then, as she said, 'i didn't
          know.' I would call our complexion 'honey' (you mentioned yours
          as 'caramel'), but like Brent Kennedy, the Melungeon author,
          I've noticed that when my health declines, my skin becomes Whiter.

          In my little world - an all-girls high school - I always felt drawn
          to the "black" girls, up through high school and in my early jobs.
          I felt more comfortable with the 'Colored' girls, could
          really *connect* with them, felt at home in their homes,
          etc, and was not at all drawn to the White girls - they
          always had to take the initiative towards me, and they
          often kind of scared me, probably for cultural reasons.
          Even when I met white-complexioned "black" girls, or girls
          whose appearance was white yet racially ambivalent at the
          same time, I always felt kind of afraid of them - ironically.
          Perhaps they were too much of a mirror for me, and
          yet I was thoroughly unaware of that mirroring.
          I looked white, and had mostly 'white' relatives, so I could
          never take that step of 'identifying' myself as "black"
          or even 'Mixed' (or 'Colored' as the term was used then).
          I wore dark stockings in high school so that my legs
          matched my closest "black" friend, and that's about
          as close as I ever came to 'identifying' as 'Colored'.
          Most of my close White friends were Italian or
          Jewish or part Native American (and classed by
          the index of that time and place as 'white').

          Anyway, skin color is not everything, that's for sure.
          But it's one of the first things other people see in
          us and it forms part of their idea of who we are.
          I agree with spiral that it's good you
          didn't experience the ostracism.
          Nevertheless, the way things still stand in America,
          there is still a lot of confusion about this whole
          Mixed picture, and I sense that you are feeling that.



          In MGM-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
          "tirasm886" <Hollcher@...> wrote:



          I reread your post a couple times. Being ostracized
          must've been tough on you, especially as a teenager.
          I've never really went through any of the racism
          (only being jeered for talking and acting too "proper" and
          how my mother couldn't be my biological mother because she was
          "too light-skinned," or "white-looking," whereas I'm more of a
          caramel complexion, which was total BS not to mention ignorant),
          so it's pretty helpful to learn about someone else's experiences,
          although not being able to relate, it makes it all the better.
          Spiral, as a teenager, were there times you ever considered
          on identifying yourself as "black" as your other
          brother, or just as other as your oldest brother?
          Although you did face a lot of hardship, were there any
          black / white kids that befriend you in elementary / high school?
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