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Farewell and please keep us in your prayers

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  • Brian Fink
    After a year away from Holy Cross, with family, marriage and individual counseling, and although HC has had the information that they requested for almost two
    Message 1 of 3 , Aug 7, 2008
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      After a year away from Holy Cross, with family, marriage and individual
      counseling, and although HC has had the information that they requested
      for almost two months and despite repeated phone calls to the
      president, the office of spiritual counseling and even my spiritual
      father and academic adviser, we have no answers. Not one person has
      returned my phone calls in this seven week time frame. Apparently, I'm
      not worth even a five minute phone call. So its pretty obvious at this
      point that I won't be returning to pursue a 20 year old dream of
      becoming a priest.

      So please just keep us in your prayers as we try to recover financially
      (I'm now considering bankruptcy), emotionally, physically (I got my
      40th b-day physical and I'm pre-diabetic), and spiritually (two weeks
      ago, I had to leave the liturgy as it is just too painful). I no
      longer have any of my own faith to pray or even believe in God anymore

      Thank you,
      Brian

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Anastasia Theodoridis
      Dear Brian, Many, many prayers go with you! That is what the Church is for, to carry one another. That s what the faith of the saints is for, to stand in for
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 7, 2008
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        Dear Brian,

        Many, many prayers go with you! That is what the Church is for, to carry one another. That's what the faith of the saints is for, to stand in for our own when it flags or fails. Others do our praying for us when we ourselves cannot pray.

        God will find you. You will find Him. He was betrothed to you at your baptism. He remains faithful.

        I've known more than one person whose faith was sabotaged precisely by GOING to Holy Cross, so who knows, maybe it's best for you not to.

        But it does seem to me they owe you some explanation. I hope you'll show up in person at the office of your academic advisor/spiritual father. (WHAT? You haven't been in touch with him regularly all along? For confession and guidance and all?) Because something very strange is definitely going on and you need to know what it is.

        lots of love,

        Anastasia, sharing your disappointment with tears

        ----- Original Message -----
        From: Brian Fink
        To: LutheransLookingEast@yahoogroups.com
        Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2008 10:08 AM
        Subject: [LutheransLookingEast] Farewell and please keep us in your prayers


        After a year away from Holy Cross, with family, marriage and individual
        counseling, and although HC has had the information that they requested
        for almost two months and despite repeated phone calls to the
        president, the office of spiritual counseling and even my spiritual
        father and academic adviser, we have no answers. Not one person has
        returned my phone calls in this seven week time frame. Apparently, I'm
        not worth even a five minute phone call. So its pretty obvious at this
        point that I won't be returning to pursue a 20 year old dream of
        becoming a priest.

        So please just keep us in your prayers as we try to recover financially
        (I'm now considering bankruptcy), emotionally, physically (I got my
        40th b-day physical and I'm pre-diabetic), and spiritually (two weeks
        ago, I had to leave the liturgy as it is just too painful). I no
        longer have any of my own faith to pray or even believe in God anymore

        Thank you,
        Brian

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • randall hay
        Hi, I m Subdeacon Randy. I haven t been participating in LLE for long, but it sounds like you ve had a really rough time. My prayers are with you. I haven t
        Message 3 of 3 , Aug 7, 2008
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          Hi, I'm Subdeacon Randy. I haven't been participating in LLE for long, but it sounds like you've had a really rough time. My prayers are with you.

          I haven't been through that in particular (I've never wanted to be a priest and have those 10,000 more crosses to bear) but I went through a situation I think was about as painful to me, some years ago...in the church, not in the world.

          A priest later said the devil tries to scandalize everybody once they are firmly in the church, and I found that true.

          This is obviously a grievous cross to bear, accompanied as it is by many others, but I hope you won't be scandalized. Sometimes God tells us things in ways that seem very painful, at the hand of other people, who are probably sinners too, and who may even be a bit obnoxious at moments, too.

          Perhaps it's God telling you your service in His holy body is not in the priesthood...or perhaps it is, it's just down the road. Sounds like He's calling you at this moment to just persevere in your regular tasks of supporting yourself as best you can, doing your best to keep your health OK, and continue helping others. In my observation He often derails our Great Plans, temporarily or permanently, as we need, humbling us for our benefit and the benefit of others. We need to accept our Great Plans failing before He gets them going again, if He wants them going. I'd share my Great Plan if you wanted to hear it, but I don't want to bore you to tears.

          When I went through my post-chrismation financial crisis (my theory is that it happens to almost everyone who's sincere), a nun said I needed to tighten my belt a little bit and forget about it. Not worry. I've always thought that was excellent advice. I mean, if God's behind you, that's all we need. We get through the financial crises. The nuns get through a permanent state of financial crisis, since they don't have possessions.

          At any rate, I'm sure your being at seminary had a compelling reason behind it, that God knows. I had two years at a Lutheran seminary (and bits and pieces elsewhere)...and in retrospect I can see the great value in it.

          My have my admiration (I can't see how anybody would voluntarily want to be a priest, as I say) and my prayers!

          In Christ,

          S.R.










          ----- Original Message ----
          From: Brian Fink <brfinkster@...>
          To: LutheransLookingEast@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Thursday, August 7, 2008 10:08:42 AM
          Subject: [LutheransLookingEast] Farewell and please keep us in your prayers


          After a year away from Holy Cross, with family, marriage and individual
          counseling, and although HC has had the information that they requested
          for almost two months and despite repeated phone calls to the
          president, the office of spiritual counseling and even my spiritual
          father and academic adviser, we have no answers. Not one person has
          returned my phone calls in this seven week time frame. Apparently, I'm
          not worth even a five minute phone call. So its pretty obvious at this
          point that I won't be returning to pursue a 20 year old dream of
          becoming a priest.

          So please just keep us in your prayers as we try to recover financially
          (I'm now considering bankruptcy), emotionally, physically (I got my
          40th b-day physical and I'm pre-diabetic) , and spiritually (two weeks
          ago, I had to leave the liturgy as it is just too painful). I no
          longer have any of my own faith to pray or even believe in God anymore

          Thank you,
          Brian

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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