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474My path (to date)

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  • Dave @¿@¬
    May 7, 2008
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      In response to Fr. John's reqeust, here is "my story":

      It all started with a Hatha Yoga class...

      During the meditation at the end of the class "something happened."

      Everything ceased to exist. I was in an immense darkness within
      myself. Just the immense darkness and awareness...

      I did not know of any words in the English language that I could use
      to get a handle on it (and I'm a technical writer!) Since it
      happened in a yoga class, I went to the Eastern (Indian) works for

      Still -- nothing about what it was!
      So, being of a good scientific mindset, I decided to approach it
      from the other end and eliminate what it wasn't. After 7 years I
      discovered that I had been on what was called a "neti-neti search."
      (Neti-neti is translated as "not not.")

      This lead me to the path of Jnana Yoga (The Yoga of Knowledge.) A
      Jnani follows a solitary path along the razor of the mind that is
      not traversed by very many people.

      I eventually came to the recognition that this was insight into God
      on a much bigger scale than I had ever imagined. After a few more
      years of search I discovered that there was a western term that fit
      my experience precisely: "Divine Darkness!"

      Not being acquainted with Orthodoxy, I did most of my searching
      within the Roman Catholic church -- there was absolutely nothing in
      my Lutheran background. The Apophatic Way, The Divine Darkness and
      Negative Theology were in the Roman church but they seemed to be
      stuck up in the attic accumulating dust and were not brought out
      very often.

      So... I continued on my path calling myself either "a Mystic" or "a
      Christian Mystic."

      Continuing within my church, my path was alien to everybody and
      there was no community in which my faith could grow.

      Finally I went to a Greek Festival here in Rochester NY at Holy
      Spirit Greek Orthodox Church. I went into the bookstore and there
      was everything that was so alien, mysterious, unrecognizable and
      threatening to every Christian that I had encountered on my path to

      The priest at Holy Spirit came to Orthodoxy by following a path that
      is remarkably similar to my own. Not only have I found a father
      confessor, but I have found one who can empathise with what I had
      always considered to be my "unique path."

      Within the past month or two I have come to a different
      understanding of "The Divine Darkness"...

      More like:

      I was born blind.
      Suddenly I received my sight.
      Being able to see for the first time, I was aware of the fact that I
      was sitting in the darkness (God was not there, but there was a lot
      of empty space available for him.)
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