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Re: [Loudon] Missing Lyrics

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  • Steve Hopkins
    I haven t received any response/acknowledgement from mooivanbinnen, so here s what I sent previously: RUFUS IS A TIT MAN Loudon Wainwright III Rufus is a
    Message 1 of 9 , Dec 20, 2003
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      I haven't received any response/acknowledgement from mooivanbinnen, so
      here's what I sent previously:

      RUFUS IS A TIT MAN
      Loudon Wainwright III


      Rufus is a titman, suckin' on his mama's gland
      Suckin' on the nipple, it's sweeter than the Ripple wine
      Yeah, it's sweeter than the wine
      You can tell by the way the boy burps that it's gotta taste fine

      Marco Polo craved for spices, silk, & Rufus craves for mama's milk
      No moo cow, no billy goat, is gonna get the baby's vote
      Come on, mama, come on & open up your shirt
      Yeah, you got the goods, mama, give the little boy a squirt

      For my lungs & for my liver I do definitely fear
      I like to suck on cigarettes & drink the wine & beer
      The doctor says I'm oral, & I believe it's true
      Ah, son, you look so satisfied I envy you

      So put Rufus on the left one & me right on the right
      & like Romulus & Remus we'll suck all night
      Come on, mama, come on & lactate a while
      Yeah, look down on us, mama, & flash us a madonna smile

      ==================================================

      SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES
      Loudon Wainwright III


      Well, I'm trying to read my Sunday Times; it costs a nickel & 12 dimes
      I bought it late Saturday night; I've almost finished but not quite
      It weighed a ton it seemed to me that each one of them must take a tree to
      make
      & also, I should think, it takes about a gallon of ink

      Right off the bat in Section One: who, when, where, how & what got done
      The outlook's bleak, it's clear to see; Section 1 depresses me
      All the heavy duty news; it gives you the over-informed blues
      & I'm so relieved when 1's all through; thumb through 1, get on to 2

      Now I'm a show-biz kinda guy; the business is my life & that's no lie
      2's one of my favorite parts: Entertainment & Leisure Arts
      Which movie's great, which Broadway play; exclamation points the way
      The next time that things get this great is Sports way up in Section Eight

      I hoist the Times into my lap & take some time to heave some crap
      I guess some guys dig Section 3 but Business bores the pants off me
      If you want boring, here's a chore: Week in Review, that Section 4
      & who in the hell wants a review? Once was enough for me, thank you

      After 3 & 4 it's clear you want to get away from here
      Escape to somewhere & you'll try; it's time to Travel; Section 5
      Guatamala's always quaint although the right-wing death squads ain't
      Satanic cults down the block; better stay at home, escape culture shock

      The Magazine is Section 6 with food & wine, full-color pics
      So sexy that you gotta stare at all the advertisements in there
      So glossy that the pages stick; flipping one at a time's a trick
      The crossword will keep you up late; & it's camp if your kids are overweight

      Section7, Book Review; it comes with me into the loo
      The TV section; that's 11; naturally that goes with 7
      7, 11, that's it; I read them there when 'ere I sit & read
      8 reviews of those who write; leads one to think that one day one might

      You need a job? That's Section 9. You're not jobless? Hey, that's fine
      Section 10 is Real Estate. You're not homeless? Hey, that's great
      This town is so strange; in this town life's subject to change
      What goes up comes down again. Hold on to 9, hold on to 10

      Well, it's Tuesday & I'm still not done with Sunday's Times, son of a gun
      Monday & Tuesday's still unread; I could have read War & Peace instead
      A great relief I do not doubt when it's time to throw all of these Times out
      Tomorrow I'll buy Wednesday's Times; it's just one nickel.just one
      nickel.just one nickel & three dimes

      ============================================================

      THIS SONG DON'T HAVE A VIDEO
      Loudon Wainwright III



      This song don't have a video
      This song don't have a video

      This song don't have a video so you'll just have to listen
      Focus on the audio; the visual is missing
      "How'm I gonna get it?" is probably what you're thinking
      Your ears ain't tuned for singing without watching lip-synching

      This song don't have a video; you'll have to pay attention
      To how the melody might go & lyrics I might mention
      I know you need distraction or else you tend to fidget
      When there's no cleavage footage & not one single midget

      This song don't have a video
      This song don't have a video.hey!

      This song don't have a video; use your imagination
      Forget about the radio, they won't play it on the station
      They're not sure you can grasp it; they don't give you much credit
      If you ain't seen it, you don't hear it, so you never get it

      This song don't have a video; I know your ear I'm bending
      It's taken seriously though they're only just pretending
      Don't forget to remember that; that is all I'm saying
      When watching people faking their singing & their playing

      This song don't have a video
      This song don't have a video
      This song don't have a video

      ========================================================

      WHEN I'M AT YOUR HOUSE
      Loudon Wainwright III


      When I'm at your house, everything's strange
      When I'm at your house, I go through a change
      I feel out of touch, way out of reach
      Like a fish out of water or a whale on a beach
      When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house

      When I'm at your house everything's weird
      There are so many things there to be feared
      Telephone rings; I get scared
      The machine takes the message; I wouldn't have dared
      When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house

      Somebody's at the front door & I wanna hide
      Thy want in; I'm locked inside
      Today's Thursday; it's your cleaning lady
      She wants to get paid today; she's got a key
      When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house

      When I'm at your house I go out of my head
      I lie on your couch & sit on your bed
      & I eat & I drink & I don't know what for
      I spill the wine on the carpet & the food on the floor

      When I'm at your house, God only knows
      Why I go through your drawers & try on your clothes
      I shower & I shave & use your tortoise-shell comb
      When I'm at your house & you're coming home

      ===============================================

      Whatever Happened to Us
      Loudon Wainwright III


      G
      C
      Whatever happened to you..Whatever happened to us
      D D
      G
      Yeah, we missed the proverbial boat..the plane & train & the bus
      C D G
      C
      Hey, push came to shove, we fell out of love..we tore each other apart
      C D C
      G
      Love is grand but I can't understand why you broke my proverbial heart


      We used to be in love but now we are in hate
      You used to say I came too early
      But it was you who came too late
      Boy meets girl & they give it a whirl
      And the very next thing you know
      She thinks he's nuts & he hates her guts
      Then the bad blood starts to flow

      Well it sounds like sour grapes
      And that's just what it is
      I'm gonna get me a subscription to Argosy
      And I'll get me a subscription to Ms
      That's a whole lot of crap
      About a tender trap
      What it is is a suicide snare
      All I want to do, is to forget you
      And our lousy love affair

      ==============================================

      NICE GUYS ARE A DIME A DOZEN
      LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III

      I know a great set of train tracks & I'll gladly tie you to them, girl
      I'll attempt to grow a moustache just to have something to twirl
      I cater to them like nobody can I mean your masochistic tendencies
      I'm the guy who can make you cry & if you want more you better say please

      Every night I go home shirtless, I'm not wearing any underwear
      Playing the horses & fooling with foxes, all cavalier & devil-may-care
      I love to see that look on your face when all of your feelings get hurt
      Let's face it, you like it, when I treat you like dirt because.

      Chorus:
      Nice guys are a dime a dozen; you know what a dime is worth
      I was born to be the villain in your life; that's why god put me here on
      earth

      You say it takes two to tango; that goes for this relationship
      Put on your beret, your black net hose; I'll get out my bullwhip
      But I don't have to lay a hand on you to hurt you; I know how
      Haven't you heard of the unkind word or the power of the arched eyebrow?

      I must remind you of your old daddy or is it old Uncle Bill?
      Why do you stay with a heel like me, baby? Haven't you had your fill?
      I used to beat up on my little sister when she was just a kid
      A guy like me, a Simon LeGree, is glad about the bad stuff he did because.

      Chorus
      Break

      You're the perfect victim; I love pickin' on you
      My mama told me every little thing a bad man can do
      So get down on your knees, pretty baby; after that get down on all fours
      (2-3-4)
      I don't want to be the hero in my life if I can be the villain in yours
      because.

      Chorus

      You know what a dime is.worth

      ====================================================
      THE GRAMMY SONG
      Loudon Wainwright III
      (Fame & Wealth)

      Last night I dreamed that I won a Grammy
      It was presented to me by Debbie Harry
      I ran up on stage in my tux
      I gulped & I said, "Aw shucks,
      I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ"

      The audience gave me a standing ovation
      I shed tears of joy, I shed tears of elation
      Behind the podium there
      Debbie grabbed my derriere
      I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ

      I took my Grammy & Debbie & I walked offstage
      We made the cover of Cashbox & the Random Notes page.in Rolling Stone

      In the weeks that followed things went fine for me
      An Oscar, a Tony, & an Emmy
      Bo Derek & Barbara Mandrell
      A Pulitzer & a Nobel
      Five gold & one bronze as well
      Joan Rivers & Lana Cantrell
      I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ

      ======================================================
      THE ACID SONG
      LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III


      I had not taken acid for twelve years.but one night last summer I did
      I was with friends in a barroom.acting like a jerk & a kid
      I knew we were asking for trouble.& trouble was what we would get
      Five of us dropped in the girls room.psychedelicised, insane quintet

      Well, that bathroom got crowded in no time.our minds were all blown in one
      flash
      Everyone in there got ugly.we exited out of there fast
      Back in the bar we were happy (no problem, feel great!)
      Back in the bar we were fine
      Till Johnny turned into a Nazi.& Mary threw up her wine

      Well, in no time we all were ejected.soon we were out on the street
      The sidewalk began to perspire.we had glass & dogshit at out feet
      We went over to Mary's apartment (come on!).to listen to the Grateful Dead
      On the way there we lost Johnny.he had opted for Bellvue instead

      (It's fine.I'm really glad you talked me into this.I'm having a ball.I love
      this.It's great, thanks a lot.Yeah, I know my hair's on fire, I know
      that.Your face is melting, Asshole.Get the idea, your face is in your lap,
      babe.No, I don't know where your Ravi Shankar tape is, I'm sorry)

      Well, I had to get out of that city.thought it was bringing me down
      Me & my darling young Suzi.said so long & drove out of town
      Driving on acid is easy.driving on acid's a breeze
      Just keep the car on the highway.don't laugh & don't fart & don't sneeze

      Well, we got to my house in the country (OK, the country, this is much
      better)
      The trees were all throbbing & GREEEEN!
      Suzi was sure she had cancer.I was sure I was James Dean
      We went up to the lake to go swimming.down to the lake for a SWIM!
      Suzi said, "Water cures cancer." I asked her to please call me Jim

      Yes acid is usually dangerous.the mild-mannered can quickly turn mean
      LSD can sure enrage us.unless you possess thorazine
      So the next time you wanna go out there.when you feel like feeding your head
      Think twice before dropping acid.hold out for.mushrooms instead

      =========================================================
      HEAVEN
      Loudon Wainwright III

      There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
      Smoking and eating and sex
      What you didn't do in this life, bad for you,
      Will be totally cool in the next
      In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
      At lunch it's tequila and wine
      And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner
      And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh....

      Good behavior will get you to heaven
      It's Beulah Land, that's where you're bound
      But nobody makes nice up there in paradise
      When you get up there then you get down
      And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven
      Saint Peter puffs on a cigar
      That's right, smoking's allowed, it's what makes all those clouds
      & you don't have to sit at the bar, Oh....

      BREAK

      And they eat all day long up in Heaven
      And nobody ever gets fat
      No not one calorie and the ice cream is free
      It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat
      And it's just one big orgy in Heaven
      And nobody ever says "no"
      And it's front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track
      But you don't lose your get up and go, Oh...

      There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
      Smoking and eating and sex
      What you didn't do in this life, bad for you,
      Will be totally cool in the next
      In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
      At lunch it's Sambuca and wine
      The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner
      And the morning hereafter feels fine!



      ----- Original Message -----
      From: mooivanbinnen
      To: 'J' ; 'The LW3 List'
      Sent: Saturday, December 20, 2003 6:07 PM
      Subject: [Loudon] Missing Lyrics


      Thanks for your typing J. The two songs: "Expatriate" and "The Back nine"
      are on the web now.

      Expected: J
      Whatever Happened To Us
      Dump The Dog
      Synchronicity
      The Home Stretch
      T.S.M.N.W.A.
      Drinking Song
      The Grammy Song
      This Year
      Nice Guys

      Still missing, so sign in....and type out:

      Red Guitar
      Muse Blues
      B Side
      Smokey Joe's Café (Bmi)
      Trilogy (Circa 1967)
      Say That You Love Me
      The Lowly Tourist
      On The Rocks
      Mr.Guilty
      Rufus Is A Tit Man
      Penpal Blues
      Natural Disaster
      Heaven And Mud
      Pretty Little Martha
      Reader And Advisor
      Revenge
      Ingenue
      Westchester County
      Not John
      Screaming Issue
      Animal Song
      Daddy Take A Nap
      I Eat Out
      Man's World
      Overseas Call
      T.S.D.H.A.V
      Aphrodisiac
      Mind Read (It Belonged To You)
      People In Love
      Hitting You
      Talking New Bob Dylan
      4 X 10
      Sometimes I Forget
      Road Ode
      I Wish It Was Me
      East Indian Princess
      Hometeam Crowd
      Needless To Say
      New Paint
      Sweet Nothings
      King And Queens
      Crime Of Passion
      Guru
      Old Friend
      Final Exam
      The Heckler
      Fear With Flying
      Two-Song Set
      East Indian Princess
      Five Years Old
      Idttywlm
      Saturday Morning Fever
      Lost Love
      Out Of This World
      Your Mother and I
      No
      The Acid Song [on CD version only]
      Vampire Blues
      Bill Of Goods
      Fly Paper
      You Don't Want To Know
      Men
      When I'm At Your House
      Between
      So Many Songs
      Handful Of Dust
      Thanksgiving
      The Acid Song
      Sunday Times
      Much Better Bets
      Dreaming
      It's Love And I Hate It
      Heaven
      You Never Phone



      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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    • Larry
      Don t mean to be picky, but it s Marco Polo craved the spice and silk, and Rufus craves his Momma s milk ... From: Steve Hopkins
      Message 2 of 9 , Dec 21, 2003
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        Don't mean to be picky, but it's "Marco Polo craved the spice and silk, and
        Rufus craves his Momma's milk"
        ----- Original Message -----
        From: "Steve Hopkins" <shopkins@...>
        To: "LW3 list" <Loudon@yahoogroups.com>; "mooivanbinnen"
        <mooivanbinnen@...>
        Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 2:57 AM
        Subject: Re: [Loudon] Missing Lyrics


        > I haven't received any response/acknowledgement from mooivanbinnen, so
        > here's what I sent previously:
        >
        > RUFUS IS A TIT MAN
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        >
        > Rufus is a titman, suckin' on his mama's gland
        > Suckin' on the nipple, it's sweeter than the Ripple wine
        > Yeah, it's sweeter than the wine
        > You can tell by the way the boy burps that it's gotta taste fine
        >
        > Marco Polo craved for spices, silk, & Rufus craves for mama's milk
        > No moo cow, no billy goat, is gonna get the baby's vote
        > Come on, mama, come on & open up your shirt
        > Yeah, you got the goods, mama, give the little boy a squirt
        >
        > For my lungs & for my liver I do definitely fear
        > I like to suck on cigarettes & drink the wine & beer
        > The doctor says I'm oral, & I believe it's true
        > Ah, son, you look so satisfied I envy you
        >
        > So put Rufus on the left one & me right on the right
        > & like Romulus & Remus we'll suck all night
        > Come on, mama, come on & lactate a while
        > Yeah, look down on us, mama, & flash us a madonna smile
        >
        > ==================================================
        >
        > SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        >
        > Well, I'm trying to read my Sunday Times; it costs a nickel & 12 dimes
        > I bought it late Saturday night; I've almost finished but not quite
        > It weighed a ton it seemed to me that each one of them must take a tree to
        > make
        > & also, I should think, it takes about a gallon of ink
        >
        > Right off the bat in Section One: who, when, where, how & what got done
        > The outlook's bleak, it's clear to see; Section 1 depresses me
        > All the heavy duty news; it gives you the over-informed blues
        > & I'm so relieved when 1's all through; thumb through 1, get on to 2
        >
        > Now I'm a show-biz kinda guy; the business is my life & that's no lie
        > 2's one of my favorite parts: Entertainment & Leisure Arts
        > Which movie's great, which Broadway play; exclamation points the way
        > The next time that things get this great is Sports way up in Section Eight
        >
        > I hoist the Times into my lap & take some time to heave some crap
        > I guess some guys dig Section 3 but Business bores the pants off me
        > If you want boring, here's a chore: Week in Review, that Section 4
        > & who in the hell wants a review? Once was enough for me, thank you
        >
        > After 3 & 4 it's clear you want to get away from here
        > Escape to somewhere & you'll try; it's time to Travel; Section 5
        > Guatamala's always quaint although the right-wing death squads ain't
        > Satanic cults down the block; better stay at home, escape culture shock
        >
        > The Magazine is Section 6 with food & wine, full-color pics
        > So sexy that you gotta stare at all the advertisements in there
        > So glossy that the pages stick; flipping one at a time's a trick
        > The crossword will keep you up late; & it's camp if your kids are
        overweight
        >
        > Section7, Book Review; it comes with me into the loo
        > The TV section; that's 11; naturally that goes with 7
        > 7, 11, that's it; I read them there when 'ere I sit & read
        > 8 reviews of those who write; leads one to think that one day one might
        >
        > You need a job? That's Section 9. You're not jobless? Hey, that's fine
        > Section 10 is Real Estate. You're not homeless? Hey, that's great
        > This town is so strange; in this town life's subject to change
        > What goes up comes down again. Hold on to 9, hold on to 10
        >
        > Well, it's Tuesday & I'm still not done with Sunday's Times, son of a gun
        > Monday & Tuesday's still unread; I could have read War & Peace instead
        > A great relief I do not doubt when it's time to throw all of these Times
        out
        > Tomorrow I'll buy Wednesday's Times; it's just one nickel.just one
        > nickel.just one nickel & three dimes
        >
        > ============================================================
        >
        > THIS SONG DON'T HAVE A VIDEO
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        >
        >
        > This song don't have a video
        > This song don't have a video
        >
        > This song don't have a video so you'll just have to listen
        > Focus on the audio; the visual is missing
        > "How'm I gonna get it?" is probably what you're thinking
        > Your ears ain't tuned for singing without watching lip-synching
        >
        > This song don't have a video; you'll have to pay attention
        > To how the melody might go & lyrics I might mention
        > I know you need distraction or else you tend to fidget
        > When there's no cleavage footage & not one single midget
        >
        > This song don't have a video
        > This song don't have a video.hey!
        >
        > This song don't have a video; use your imagination
        > Forget about the radio, they won't play it on the station
        > They're not sure you can grasp it; they don't give you much credit
        > If you ain't seen it, you don't hear it, so you never get it
        >
        > This song don't have a video; I know your ear I'm bending
        > It's taken seriously though they're only just pretending
        > Don't forget to remember that; that is all I'm saying
        > When watching people faking their singing & their playing
        >
        > This song don't have a video
        > This song don't have a video
        > This song don't have a video
        >
        > ========================================================
        >
        > WHEN I'M AT YOUR HOUSE
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        >
        > When I'm at your house, everything's strange
        > When I'm at your house, I go through a change
        > I feel out of touch, way out of reach
        > Like a fish out of water or a whale on a beach
        > When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house
        >
        > When I'm at your house everything's weird
        > There are so many things there to be feared
        > Telephone rings; I get scared
        > The machine takes the message; I wouldn't have dared
        > When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house
        >
        > Somebody's at the front door & I wanna hide
        > Thy want in; I'm locked inside
        > Today's Thursday; it's your cleaning lady
        > She wants to get paid today; she's got a key
        > When I'm at your house. When I'm at your house
        >
        > When I'm at your house I go out of my head
        > I lie on your couch & sit on your bed
        > & I eat & I drink & I don't know what for
        > I spill the wine on the carpet & the food on the floor
        >
        > When I'm at your house, God only knows
        > Why I go through your drawers & try on your clothes
        > I shower & I shave & use your tortoise-shell comb
        > When I'm at your house & you're coming home
        >
        > ===============================================
        >
        > Whatever Happened to Us
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        >
        > G
        > C
        > Whatever happened to you..Whatever happened to us
        > D D
        > G
        > Yeah, we missed the proverbial boat..the plane & train & the bus
        > C D
        G
        > C
        > Hey, push came to shove, we fell out of love..we tore each other apart
        > C D C
        > G
        > Love is grand but I can't understand why you broke my proverbial heart
        >
        >
        > We used to be in love but now we are in hate
        > You used to say I came too early
        > But it was you who came too late
        > Boy meets girl & they give it a whirl
        > And the very next thing you know
        > She thinks he's nuts & he hates her guts
        > Then the bad blood starts to flow
        >
        > Well it sounds like sour grapes
        > And that's just what it is
        > I'm gonna get me a subscription to Argosy
        > And I'll get me a subscription to Ms
        > That's a whole lot of crap
        > About a tender trap
        > What it is is a suicide snare
        > All I want to do, is to forget you
        > And our lousy love affair
        >
        > ==============================================
        >
        > NICE GUYS ARE A DIME A DOZEN
        > LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III
        >
        > I know a great set of train tracks & I'll gladly tie you to them, girl
        > I'll attempt to grow a moustache just to have something to twirl
        > I cater to them like nobody can I mean your masochistic tendencies
        > I'm the guy who can make you cry & if you want more you better say please
        >
        > Every night I go home shirtless, I'm not wearing any underwear
        > Playing the horses & fooling with foxes, all cavalier & devil-may-care
        > I love to see that look on your face when all of your feelings get hurt
        > Let's face it, you like it, when I treat you like dirt because.
        >
        > Chorus:
        > Nice guys are a dime a dozen; you know what a dime is worth
        > I was born to be the villain in your life; that's why god put me here on
        > earth
        >
        > You say it takes two to tango; that goes for this relationship
        > Put on your beret, your black net hose; I'll get out my bullwhip
        > But I don't have to lay a hand on you to hurt you; I know how
        > Haven't you heard of the unkind word or the power of the arched eyebrow?
        >
        > I must remind you of your old daddy or is it old Uncle Bill?
        > Why do you stay with a heel like me, baby? Haven't you had your fill?
        > I used to beat up on my little sister when she was just a kid
        > A guy like me, a Simon LeGree, is glad about the bad stuff he did because.
        >
        > Chorus
        > Break
        >
        > You're the perfect victim; I love pickin' on you
        > My mama told me every little thing a bad man can do
        > So get down on your knees, pretty baby; after that get down on all fours
        > (2-3-4)
        > I don't want to be the hero in my life if I can be the villain in yours
        > because.
        >
        > Chorus
        >
        > You know what a dime is.worth
        >
        > ====================================================
        > THE GRAMMY SONG
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        > (Fame & Wealth)
        >
        > Last night I dreamed that I won a Grammy
        > It was presented to me by Debbie Harry
        > I ran up on stage in my tux
        > I gulped & I said, "Aw shucks,
        > I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ"
        >
        > The audience gave me a standing ovation
        > I shed tears of joy, I shed tears of elation
        > Behind the podium there
        > Debbie grabbed my derriere
        > I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ
        >
        > I took my Grammy & Debbie & I walked offstage
        > We made the cover of Cashbox & the Random Notes page.in Rolling Stone
        >
        > In the weeks that followed things went fine for me
        > An Oscar, a Tony, & an Emmy
        > Bo Derek & Barbara Mandrell
        > A Pulitzer & a Nobel
        > Five gold & one bronze as well
        > Joan Rivers & Lana Cantrell
        > I'd like to thank my producer & Jesus Christ
        >
        > ======================================================
        > THE ACID SONG
        > LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III
        >
        >
        > I had not taken acid for twelve years.but one night last summer I did
        > I was with friends in a barroom.acting like a jerk & a kid
        > I knew we were asking for trouble.& trouble was what we would get
        > Five of us dropped in the girls room.psychedelicised, insane quintet
        >
        > Well, that bathroom got crowded in no time.our minds were all blown in one
        > flash
        > Everyone in there got ugly.we exited out of there fast
        > Back in the bar we were happy (no problem, feel great!)
        > Back in the bar we were fine
        > Till Johnny turned into a Nazi.& Mary threw up her wine
        >
        > Well, in no time we all were ejected.soon we were out on the street
        > The sidewalk began to perspire.we had glass & dogshit at out feet
        > We went over to Mary's apartment (come on!).to listen to the Grateful Dead
        > On the way there we lost Johnny.he had opted for Bellvue instead
        >
        > (It's fine.I'm really glad you talked me into this.I'm having a ball.I
        love
        > this.It's great, thanks a lot.Yeah, I know my hair's on fire, I know
        > that.Your face is melting, Asshole.Get the idea, your face is in your lap,
        > babe.No, I don't know where your Ravi Shankar tape is, I'm sorry)
        >
        > Well, I had to get out of that city.thought it was bringing me down
        > Me & my darling young Suzi.said so long & drove out of town
        > Driving on acid is easy.driving on acid's a breeze
        > Just keep the car on the highway.don't laugh & don't fart & don't sneeze
        >
        > Well, we got to my house in the country (OK, the country, this is much
        > better)
        > The trees were all throbbing & GREEEEN!
        > Suzi was sure she had cancer.I was sure I was James Dean
        > We went up to the lake to go swimming.down to the lake for a SWIM!
        > Suzi said, "Water cures cancer." I asked her to please call me Jim
        >
        > Yes acid is usually dangerous.the mild-mannered can quickly turn mean
        > LSD can sure enrage us.unless you possess thorazine
        > So the next time you wanna go out there.when you feel like feeding your
        head
        > Think twice before dropping acid.hold out for.mushrooms instead
        >
        > =========================================================
        > HEAVEN
        > Loudon Wainwright III
        >
        > There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
        > Smoking and eating and sex
        > What you didn't do in this life, bad for you,
        > Will be totally cool in the next
        > In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
        > At lunch it's tequila and wine
        > And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner
        > And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh....
        >
        > Good behavior will get you to heaven
        > It's Beulah Land, that's where you're bound
        > But nobody makes nice up there in paradise
        > When you get up there then you get down
        > And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven
        > Saint Peter puffs on a cigar
        > That's right, smoking's allowed, it's what makes all those clouds
        > & you don't have to sit at the bar, Oh....
        >
        > BREAK
        >
        > And they eat all day long up in Heaven
        > And nobody ever gets fat
        > No not one calorie and the ice cream is free
        > It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat
        > And it's just one big orgy in Heaven
        > And nobody ever says "no"
        > And it's front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track
        > But you don't lose your get up and go, Oh...
        >
        > There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
        > Smoking and eating and sex
        > What you didn't do in this life, bad for you,
        > Will be totally cool in the next
        > In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
        > At lunch it's Sambuca and wine
        > The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner
        > And the morning hereafter feels fine!
        >
        >
        >
        > ----- Original Message -----
        > From: mooivanbinnen
        > To: 'J' ; 'The LW3 List'
        > Sent: Saturday, December 20, 2003 6:07 PM
        > Subject: [Loudon] Missing Lyrics
        >
        >
        > Thanks for your typing J. The two songs: "Expatriate" and "The Back nine"
        > are on the web now.
        >
        > Expected: J
        > Whatever Happened To Us
        > Dump The Dog
        > Synchronicity
        > The Home Stretch
        > T.S.M.N.W.A.
        > Drinking Song
        > The Grammy Song
        > This Year
        > Nice Guys
        >
        > Still missing, so sign in....and type out:
        >
        > Red Guitar
        > Muse Blues
        > B Side
        > Smokey Joe's Café (Bmi)
        > Trilogy (Circa 1967)
        > Say That You Love Me
        > The Lowly Tourist
        > On The Rocks
        > Mr.Guilty
        > Rufus Is A Tit Man
        > Penpal Blues
        > Natural Disaster
        > Heaven And Mud
        > Pretty Little Martha
        > Reader And Advisor
        > Revenge
        > Ingenue
        > Westchester County
        > Not John
        > Screaming Issue
        > Animal Song
        > Daddy Take A Nap
        > I Eat Out
        > Man's World
        > Overseas Call
        > T.S.D.H.A.V
        > Aphrodisiac
        > Mind Read (It Belonged To You)
        > People In Love
        > Hitting You
        > Talking New Bob Dylan
        > 4 X 10
        > Sometimes I Forget
        > Road Ode
        > I Wish It Was Me
        > East Indian Princess
        > Hometeam Crowd
        > Needless To Say
        > New Paint
        > Sweet Nothings
        > King And Queens
        > Crime Of Passion
        > Guru
        > Old Friend
        > Final Exam
        > The Heckler
        > Fear With Flying
        > Two-Song Set
        > East Indian Princess
        > Five Years Old
        > Idttywlm
        > Saturday Morning Fever
        > Lost Love
        > Out Of This World
        > Your Mother and I
        > No
        > The Acid Song [on CD version only]
        > Vampire Blues
        > Bill Of Goods
        > Fly Paper
        > You Don't Want To Know
        > Men
        > When I'm At Your House
        > Between
        > So Many Songs
        > Handful Of Dust
        > Thanksgiving
        > The Acid Song
        > Sunday Times
        > Much Better Bets
        > Dreaming
        > It's Love And I Hate It
        > Heaven
        > You Never Phone
        >
        >
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > -----
        > Loudon Wainwright III web site: http://lwiii.com
        >
        > To unsubscribe from this group, send an e-mail to:
        > Loudon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
        >
        > For problems and other information about this Yahoo group,
        > start at http://www.lwiii.com/lwmllst1.html
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > Yahoo! Groups Links
        >
        > To visit your group on the web, go to:
        > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Loudon/
        >
        > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
        > Loudon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
        >
        > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > -----
        > Loudon Wainwright III web site: http://lwiii.com
        >
        > To unsubscribe from this group, send an e-mail to:
        > Loudon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
        >
        > For problems and other information about this Yahoo group,
        > start at http://www.lwiii.com/lwmllst1.html
        >
        > Yahoo! Groups Links
        >
        > To visit your group on the web, go to:
        > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Loudon/
        >
        > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
        > Loudon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
        >
        > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
        > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
        >
        >
        >
      • mooivanbinnen
        (....this is an official mooivanbinnen-confirmation....) Wow, this was a hard days night! 8 new songs! And I don t know why I missed them earlier... Thank you
        Message 3 of 9 , Dec 21, 2003
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          (....this is an official mooivanbinnen-confirmation....)

          Wow, this was a hard days night! 8 new songs! And I don't know why I missed
          them earlier... Thank you Steve Hopkins!

          Rufus is a Titman, Sunday NY Times, This Song Don't Have a Video, When I'm
          at Your House, Whatever Happened to Us, Nice Guys Are a Dime a Dozen, The
          Grammy Song, The Acid Song, are on the web now. At http://145.53.136.229
          bottom right...

          So the pending lists are as follows:

          Expected: J
          Dump The Dog
          Synchronicity
          The Home Stretch
          T.S.M.N.W.A.
          Drinking Song
          The Grammy Song
          This Year

          Still missing, so sign in....and type out (now in alphabetical order):

          4 X 10
          Animal Song
          Aphrodisiac
          B Side
          Between
          Bill Of Goods
          Crime Of Passion
          Daddy Take A Nap
          Dreaming
          East Indian Princess
          Fear With Flying
          Final Exam
          Five Years Old
          Fly Paper
          Guru
          Handful Of Dust
          Heaven And Mud
          Hitting You
          Hometeam Crowd
          I Eat Out
          I Wish It Was Me
          Idttywlm
          Ingenue
          It's Love And I Hate It
          King And Queens
          Lost Love
          Man's World
          Men
          Mind Read (It Belonged To You)
          Mr.Guilty
          Much Better Bets
          Muse Blues
          Natural Disaster
          Needless To Say
          New Paint
          No
          Not John
          Old Friend
          On The Rocks
          Out Of This World
          Overseas Call
          Penpal Blues
          People In Love
          Pretty Little Martha
          Reader And Advisor
          Red Guitar
          Revenge
          Road Ode
          Saturday Morning Fever
          Say That You Love Me
          Screaming Issue
          Smokey Joe's Café (Bmi)
          So Many Songs
          Sometimes I Forget
          Sunday Times
          Sweet Nothings
          Talking New Bob Dylan
          Thanksgiving
          The Acid Song
          The Heckler
          The Lowly Tourist
          Trilogy (Circa 1967)
          Two-Song Set
          Vampire Blues
          Westchester County
          You Don't Want To Know
          You Never Phone
          Your Mother and I



          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Steve Hopkins
          Glad you received the lyrics, though I m still not sure if you got them via your address or the list. Guess it really doesn t matter. Here are a few more
          Message 4 of 9 , Dec 21, 2003
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            Glad you received the lyrics, though I'm still not sure if you got them via
            your address or the list. Guess it really doesn't matter. Here are a few
            more that I believe are not "commercially available" or on your list. I
            suspect we may not ever hear Loudo do the Newt Gingrich song again, but here
            it is for historical (hysterical) purposes. Also included is a slightly
            different version of Guilty Conscience/The Morgue. Does LW3 actually call
            it "The Morgue"? I'm sure, like most songs, he does it a little different
            from show to show.

            Steve


            COLOURS
            Loudon Wainwright III


            Chorus:
            Shit on the streets of our town
            Comes in different shades of brown
            What I mean can be seen & be found
            Take a stroll & look down on the ground

            Sometimes a man can't understand
            About Mother Nature's grand plan
            Why there's chocolate & golden & tan
            Where we walk around or just stand

            Chorus

            Some has a slight reddish hue
            A dark yellow is quite common, too
            There's a rainbow in that residue
            Could be witnessed by me & by you

            Chorus

            Out of some doggie's behind
            Comes a rare & unusual find
            It's that chalky white albino kind
            It blows & it boggles my mind

            Chorus

            ====================================================

            NEWT GINGRICH IS RUNNING THE TOWN
            (to the tune of SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN)
            Loudon Wainwright III



            You better be civil, you better not pout
            & if you're abnormal you'd better watch out
            Newt Gingrich is running the town
            He's got a contract; he's no demagogue
            He's drivin' a Caddie; all Bill does is jog
            Newt Gingrich is running the town
            He knows when you're on welfare; his vision's crystal clear
            If you're a part of the counterculture, man, you're outta here

            The Democrats lose; Republicans win
            Let's say a prayer; how 'bout a hymn?
            Newt Gingrich is running the town
            Teddy stays put; Ollie got beat
            But Jesse & Strom are still glued to their seats
            Newt Gingrich is running the town
            Newt knows when you are mooching, so don't act so surprised
            If you've got a social problem, you're just uncivilized

            The American people, they've had their say
            But what I want to know is which people are they?
            Newt Gingrich is running the town
            He won't compromise; he'll cooperate
            But you better be Christian, married & straight
            Newt Gingrich is running
            Clinton had it coming
            Newt Gingrich is running
            '96 is coming
            Newt Gingrich is running the town


            =========================================================

            A Guilty Conscience & a Broken Heart
            Loudon Wainwright III



            I went to the morgue today to see you
            I knew you'd end up there right from the start
            The coroner he told me you died from natural causes:
            A guilty conscience and a broken heart

            You should've thought about our sacred marriage
            The vows we made, the promise ne'er to part
            The tag tied to your big toe tells the awful story:
            A guilty conscience and a broken heart

            A guilty conscience and a broken heart
            You sure got your comeuppance for your crime
            A guilty conscience and a broken heart
            That combination does it every single time

            Now you're dead, it's too late to be sorry
            You made a move that wasn't very smart
            Little did you know that when you dumped me
            You'd get a guilty conscience and a broken heart

            They pulled back the sheet and I ID'd you
            Seeing you so blue gave me a start
            Then they slipped your body back into the deep-freeze
            Now you've got a frozen broken heart!

            A guilty conscience and a broken heart
            You sure got your comeuppance for your crime
            A guilty conscience and a frozen broken heart
            That combo platter does it every single time

            ================================================

            Friends don't let friends play to empty rooms.

            Steve Hopkins
            P O Box 19601
            Austin, TX 78760
            shopkins@...
            www.stevehopkinsmusic.com

            "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic
            hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.
            There's also a negative side." -- Hunter S. Thompson
          • mooivanbinnen
            And here they are: You don t want to know, Colours, Newth Gingrich is running this town, A Guilty Conscience & a Broken Heart (2nd version), Penpal blues,
            Message 5 of 9 , Dec 22, 2003
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              And here they are:
              You don't want to know, Colours, Newth Gingrich is running this town, A
              Guilty Conscience & a Broken Heart (2nd version), Penpal blues, Final Exam,
              Mr.Guilty, The Heckler, The Golfin' Blues, Pretty Little Martha, Two Song
              set, Heaven and Mud, Fear with Flying, Natural Disaster, Christmas Morning,
              Human Cannonball, Thank You Mr. Hubble, Much Better Bets and Something For
              Nothing

              On the web!

              Thanks to Steve Hopkins
              Thanks to Alex Conolly
              Thanks to Maryse & Terradan Sagewynd

              So the pending lists are as follows:

              Expected: J
              Dump The Dog
              Synchronicity
              The Home Stretch
              T.S.M.N.W.A.
              Drinking Song
              The Grammy Song
              This Year

              Still missing, so sign in....and type out (now in alphabetical order):

              (I've noticed there are a few mistakes but what the heck! I try to correct
              this a.s.a.p.)

              4 X 10
              Animal Song
              Aphrodisiac
              B Side
              Between
              Bill Of Goods
              Crime Of Passion
              Daddy Take A Nap
              Dreaming
              East Indian Princess
              Five Years Old
              Fly Paper
              Guru
              Handful Of Dust
              Hitting You
              Hometeam Crowd
              I Eat Out
              I Wish It Was Me
              Idttywlm
              Ingenue
              It's Love And I Hate It
              King And Queens
              Lost Love
              Man's World
              Men
              Mind Read (It Belonged To You)
              Muse Blues
              Needless To Say
              New Paint
              No
              Not John
              Old Friend
              On The Rocks
              Out Of This World
              Overseas Call
              People In Love
              Reader And Advisor
              Red Guitar
              Revenge
              Road Ode
              Saturday Morning Fever
              Say That You Love Me
              Screaming Issue
              Smokey Joe's Café (Bmi)
              So Many Songs
              Sometimes I Forget
              Sunday Times
              Sweet Nothings
              Talking New Bob Dylan
              Thanksgiving
              The Lowly Tourist
              Trilogy (Circa 1967)
              Vampire Blues
              Westchester County
              You Don't Want To Know
              You Never Phone
              Your Mother and I


              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Steven & Patty Cover
              The Morgue... Never heard the song live...suicide?...but has there ever been a better line than... The coroner told me you died from natural causes...A guilty
              Message 6 of 9 , Dec 22, 2003
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                The Morgue...
                Never heard the song live...suicide?...but has there ever been a better
                line than...
                "The coroner told me you died from natural causes...A guilty conscience
                and a broken heart"
                Love it, Steven


                >
                > =========================================================
                >
                > A Guilty Conscience & a Broken Heart
                > Loudon Wainwright III
                >
                >
                >
                > I went to the morgue today to see you
                > I knew you'd end up there right from the start
                > The coroner he told me you died from natural causes:
                > A guilty conscience and a broken heart
                >
                > You should've thought about our sacred marriage
                > The vows we made, the promise ne'er to part
                > The tag tied to your big toe tells the awful story:
                > A guilty conscience and a broken heart
                >
                > A guilty conscience and a broken heart
                > You sure got your comeuppance for your crime
                > A guilty conscience and a broken heart
                > That combination does it every single time
                >
                > Now you're dead, it's too late to be sorry
                > You made a move that wasn't very smart
                > Little did you know that when you dumped me
                > You'd get a guilty conscience and a broken heart
                >
                > They pulled back the sheet and I ID'd you
                > Seeing you so blue gave me a start
                > Then they slipped your body back into the deep-freeze
                > Now you've got a frozen broken heart!
                >
                > A guilty conscience and a broken heart
                > You sure got your comeuppance for your crime
                > A guilty conscience and a frozen broken heart
                > That combo platter does it every single time
                >
                > ================================================


                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • mooivanbinnen
                Now there s Road Ode, Between, Red Guitar, East Indian Princess On the web at http://145.53.136.229 bottom-right Thanks to FrankBmatkon So the pending lists
                Message 7 of 9 , Dec 23, 2003
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                  Now there's
                  Road Ode, Between, Red Guitar, East Indian Princess
                  On the web at http://145.53.136.229 bottom-right

                  Thanks to FrankBmatkon

                  So the pending lists are as follows:

                  Expected: J
                  Dump The Dog
                  Synchronicity
                  The Home Stretch
                  T.S.M.N.W.A.
                  Drinking Song
                  The Grammy Song
                  This Year

                  Still missing, so sign in....and type out (now in alphabetical order):
                  (I've noticed there are a few mistakes but what the heck! I try to correct
                  this a.s.a.p.)

                  4 X 10
                  Animal Song
                  Aphrodisiac
                  B Side
                  Bill Of Goods
                  Crime Of Passion
                  Daddy Take A Nap
                  Dreaming
                  Five Years Old
                  Fly Paper
                  Guru
                  Handful Of Dust
                  Hitting You
                  Hometeam Crowd
                  I Eat Out
                  I Wish It Was Me
                  Idttywlm
                  Ingenue
                  It's Love And I Hate It
                  King And Queens
                  Lost Love
                  Man's World
                  Men
                  Mind Read (It Belonged To You)
                  Muse Blues
                  Needless To Say
                  New Paint
                  No
                  Not John
                  Old Friend
                  On The Rocks
                  Out Of This World
                  Overseas Call
                  People In Love
                  Reader And Advisor
                  Revenge
                  Saturday Morning Fever
                  Say That You Love Me
                  Screaming Issue
                  Smokey Joe's Café (Bmi)
                  So Many Songs
                  Sometimes I Forget
                  Sunday Times
                  Sweet Nothings
                  Talking New Bob Dylan
                  Thanksgiving
                  The Lowly Tourist
                  Trilogy (Circa 1967)
                  Vampire Blues
                  Westchester County
                  You Don't Want To Know
                  You Never Phone
                  Your Mother and I
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