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119Fwd: The Night Before Chanukah

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  • Judy Pokras
    Dec 13, 2009
    • 0 Attachment




      'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHANUKAH...
      OY! WHAT A SHOCK!

      SOMEBODY OUTSIDE
      WAS PICKING OUR LOCK!



       AND THERE AT THE DOOR
      STOOD A 'ZAYDA' IN BLUE-



      AND HE WORE ON HIS KUPP
      A BLUE YARMULKA, TOO!


      HIS PUNIM WAS SHAIN-
      EVERYBODY WOULD LOVE IT


      'ROUND HIS NECK HUNG A CHAIN
      WITH A GOLD MOGEN DOVID!


      HE WORE SILKEN TSITZES



       
      BENEATH HIS WOOL VEST,
      AND A SMALL FLAG OF ISRAEL
      WAS DRAPED ON HIS CHEST!


      HE SAID: "I'M NO BURGLAR,
      SO PLEASE DO BE Nice in the SPIRIT OF CHANUKAH,
       I'M HERE AT OUR SERVICE!"

      "MENCHEN ALL CALL ME
      'REB' SHALOM SHAPIRO!
      WITHOUT ME, THIS YOM-TOV
      MIGHT NEED A NEW HERO!'"

      "I VISIT ALL YIDLACH,
      AND BRING - KINNAHORRA-
      GOOD FORTUNE AS BRIGHT
      AS A GLOWING MENORAH!"

      "ICH SHLEPP LOTS OF BLESSINGS
      AND CHANUKAH GELT,
      AND JOYS THAT ARE TAKKA

      THE BEST IN DER VELT!"

      "IF YOU KNOW NICE MENCHEN,
      I'LL VISIT THEM QUICK,

      AND I'LL BRING THEM GEZUNT

      AND A HOUSEFUL OF GLICK!"

      SO WE SENT HIM TO YOUR HOUSE,
      AND SHOOK HANDS AND PARTED.

      HE SHOUTED, "SHALOM!"
      OUT THE DOORWAY HE DARTED!

      HE RAN TO A WAGON
      WITH HORSES AHEAD.
      HE FED THEM SOME BAGELS,
      AND HERE'S WHAT HE SAID:

      "LET'S GO, MOISH AND MENDEL!
      MAKE QUICK, MOE AND YUSSLE!
      PLEASE GIVE A RUSH, MALKAH!
      HEY, HYMIE, PLEASE HUSTLE!" THEY RACED LIKE THE WIND!
      AND THEY GALLOPED SO SHNELL,
      ALL HIS CLOTHING BLEW OFF,
      AND HIS GATKES AS WELL!

      SOON HE WAS SO KALT
      THAT HIS TUSHIE TURNED BLUISH!
      HE MOANED AND HE HOLLERED
      IN ENGLISH AND JEWISH!

      SO, DON'T ACT EMBARRASSED,
      AND PLEASE DON'T BE RUDE
      WHEN THAT FROSTBITTEN ZAYDA
      ARRIVES IN THE NUDE!

      QUICK! WRAP HIM IN BLANKETS!
      DON'T BEAT 'ROUND THE BUSH'!
      AND TIE A HOT WATER BAG
      ON HIS COLD TUSH!

      QUICK! FEED HIM SOME CHICHEN SOUP
      HEISS AS CAN BE!
      AND GIVE HIM SOME SHNAPPS
      AND A GLEZ'L HOT TEA!

      'CAUSE HE BRINGS YOU A HOUSEFUL
      OF CHANUKAH WISHES
      AS WARM AND GESHMOCK
      AS PLATE OF HOT KNISHES!

      AND HE BRINGS THEM FROM OUR HOUSE



       
      SO FRIENDLYAND BRIGHT,
      SO YOUR HOUSE WILL KEEP GLOWING

      WITH CHANUKAH LIGHT.

      PLUS JOY SWEET AS TSUKKER,
      AND PEACE AND GOOD-CHEER
      AND EVERYTHING FRAYLACH
      EACH DAY OF THE YEAR!

      AND NONE IN YOUR FAMILY
      WILL BE A SHLEMAZEL,
      FOR LIFE WILL BRING EACH OF YOU
      SIMCHAS AND MAZEL!

      AND ALL THROUGH THE FUTURE
      YOUR HOPES WILL COME TRUE,
      AND HIMMEL WILL BLESS
      YOUR MISHPOCHA AND YOU!!!