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JM Purim Joke 5764: Brand New album from Jewish Jimmy!!

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  • music man
    Disclaimer: JM Purim Joke 5764 is meant to be just that-- a joke. This post is not intended to offend anyone, and is merely a Simcha-boost for this board
    Message 1 of 3 , Mar 1, 2004
      Disclaimer: JM Purim Joke 5764 is meant to be just that-- a joke. This post
      is not intended to offend anyone, and is merely a Simcha-boost for this
      board during the happy month of Adar. So please laugh along and enjoy. Thank
      you.

      ***

      It's that time of year again..... The stale smell of last year's hamantashen
      wafts through the air... Alcoholics are gearing up for their special
      day..... The Easter bunny has just about finished filling in his insurance
      claims.... AND JEWISH JIMMY HAS JUMPED OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A BRAND NEW
      ALBUM FOR JEWISH KIDS!!! IT'S JEWISH JIMMY'S BIG FOOD FRESS!!!!
      Yes that's right! After the astronomic successes of Jewish Jimmy's Holiday
      Boogie in 2002 and Shtus.com's Greatest Hits Volume I in 2003, Jewish Jimmy
      is back with a brand new album which will surely have you begging for a
      second helping!!

      This delightful collection of Jewish and ethnic food songs, which is now
      availble on double CD or cassette, celebrates Jewish Jimmy's favourite
      pasttime- eating, or more specifically, fressing. Jewish Jimmy's obsession
      with food beagn when he was a baby. His first word was "tortellini" and he
      took his first steps inside a spice shop in the Congo where he was born.
      And, in true Jewish Jimmy style, he wanted to express that intense love for
      edibles in the form of music

      Jewish Jimmy's Big Food Fress contains 20 tracks, 16 of which (including a
      brand new Mini-Story) are all composed and sung by Jewish Jimmy himself.

      Guest starring on this album is talented world-famous musical genius legend
      and superstar BOZO SCRUGGS!! Following the expectation-exceeding success of
      his 2002 hit single "Ode to a Kosher Hamburger", Bozo is back with an all
      new food song which will surely inspire you-- Mi Bon Sushi.

      Debuting on this album is the newly formed band, THE STRING BEANZ. In
      addition to providing the muisc for all the songs, they also get a chance in
      the spotlight with their debut single "Peas in the Holy Land", composed by
      lead guitarist and band manager, Kalman Kidney.

      Jewish Jimmy's back-up choir, The Appie Chorus, has been appropriately
      dubbed Jewish Jimmy's Big imFRESSive Choir and its harmonious blend of 24
      talented voices (not unlike you favourite tropical smoothie) lends musical
      satisfaction to this charming recording.

      Getting hungry?? Well enough chit-chat! Grab a bowl of soggy oatmeal, drag a
      chair to your CD player and listen to the songs on Jewish Jimmy's Big Food
      Fress!!!! Here they are:

      1. OVERTURE- Introducing The String Beanz band
      2. CHOLENT CHA-CHA
      3. MI BON SUSHI- Composed, lyrics written and music arranged by Bozo Scruggs
      4. ROCKIN' RUGELACH
      5. HAMALACH HAGOULASH
      6. MAH TOFU
      7. GAGGIN' ON GEFILTE FISH
      8. HASHGACHA PROTEIN
      9. PASSOVER PAVLOVA
      10. DO THE HULKA PULKA (AKA THE CHICKEN DANCE)
      11. MINI STORY: THE ADVENTURES OF PITA PAN AND TECHINABELL, THE FELAFEL
      FAIRY
      12. KENTUCKY FRIED SHMUTZ
      13. SHEHACOLA
      14. KRIAS YAM SOUFFLE
      15. LOW-CAL KREPLACH, LOW-FAT LATKE, LOW-CARB KUGEL- Jewish Jimmy's tribute
      to Atkins, and how he did nothing whatsoever to change his eating habits.
      16. SAVOURIN' THE SOGGY SABBATH SUCCOTASH
      17. I'M SO SICK OF RAW HAM- Why can't people just keep Kosher???
      18. IR TZION TAMALE
      19. PEAS IN THE HOLY LAND- Perfomed by The String Beanz band. Composed by:
      Kalman Kidney. Lyrics written by: Len Lentil. Lead vocalist: Gonzo Garbanzo.
      20. FOOD FIGHT FANALE

      MEMBERS OF JEWISH JIMMY'S BIG imFRESSive CHOIR:

      Geppeto Bouilliabase, Ricky Breakfast, Mendel Broit, Winston Chutney, Shalom
      Enchilada, Macadamia Finkelstein, Zhizhe Franfurter, Yoni Hungry, Jamal
      Jerky, Abraham Linseed, Milt Malt, Matt mint, Hary Potroast, Philipe
      Quesadilla, Pete Sabase, Bozo Scruggs, Julius Seafood, Tobias Tabasco, Tibor
      Tabouli, Paco Taco, Michael Umishteh, Don Vondokelpenburger, Jell Wasabi,
      Yoey Yoghurt.

      MEMBERS OF THE STRING BEANZ band:

      Kalman kidney- Lead Guitar; Louie Lima- Bass Guitar; Len Lentil- Acoustic
      Guitar; Sender Snap- Keyboards; Black-eye Biff- Drums/percussion; Sigmund
      Snowpea- Banjo; Lipa Legume- Ukelele; Chip Chickpea- Lute; Azriel Adzuki-
      Mandolin; Gus Gass- Horns; Sid Soy- Violin, Viola; Pugsy Pinto- Cello;
      Norbert Navybean- Double Bass; Jimbo Jellybean- Woodwinds; Gonzo Garbanzo-
      Kazoo, harmonica.

      Well, once again, there you have it. Jewish Jimmy has taken the culinary
      ethnic combo of food and music and has crammed it into a full course meal.
      Purchase Jewish Jimmy's Big Food Fress today by ringing the non-existing
      phone number 1-800-JIMMY-ROX and we'll direct you to a pointless annoying
      Japanese sushi bar where you can't undrestand anyone. Or visit our bogus
      website: www.jewishjimmyproductions.com where you can read bios, fan mail,
      hear sound clips and more. This album is not available in stores, except in
      food outlets in the Congo.

      Special deal: Order in the next minus 28.73927 seconds and recieve a free
      DVD of Jewish Jimmy's recent university lecture: "How to Scrape Food Remains
      off your CD's" absolutely free!!!!!

      Jewish Jimmy Productions would like to thnak its corporate web-based
      sponsors:
      www.partlymusic.com
      www.six_cities_radio.com

      From all of us here at Jewish Jimmy Productions, HAVE A HAPPY FOOD-FULL
      FRESSING PURIM!!!!

      _________________________________________________________________
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    • ann kay
      thanks for making me laugh ... Do you Yahoo!? Get better spam protection with Yahoo! Mail
      Message 2 of 3 , Mar 1, 2004
        thanks for making me laugh


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      • Mindy
        Hilaroius, Gedaliah. Boy do I have a stomachache now :-)
        Message 3 of 3 , Mar 1, 2004

          Hilaroius, Gedaliah. Boy do I have a stomachache now J

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