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confession

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  • ezyiftosev@aol.com
    Yesterday evening I and a close , straight brother did some ministry to a young married couple. It was very powerful. I get home and what do I do? Look at
    Message 1 of 4 , Apr 18, 2006
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      Yesterday evening I and a close , straight   brother did some ministry
      to a young married couple. It was very powerful. I get home and what do
      I do? Look at X rated sites and masturbate. I have ED because of
      diabetes and other conditions so I can't even get a decent erection,
      but I don't know why I did it, why I so easily went to the porn sites
      without a twinge of remorse.Later, after the fact, I was filled with
      remorse and conviction. I feel like such a hypocrite, such a spiritual
      defective, I think to myself, "Why keep up the charade? Christianity is
      just another role among  the theatrical presentations that I have
      acted." After such a powerful night of ministry and I go back to eat
      vomit and crap. The  ONLY brother that I have really felt of the L-RD
      to be accountable in person and I, our schedules are at conflict. For
      months I have wanted to pray and seek counsel with the brother but our
      schedules won't allow it. I realize the need and value of vis a vis
      accountability but it has not come to fruition and now I feel like just
      dropping the role.....Ezra
    • ezyiftosev@aol.com
      TV wasn t a factor. One would think that being a believer since 1973 and being a former pastor I would stop playing with my p$*&s at age 55. Unfortuneately,
      Message 2 of 4 , Apr 18, 2006
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        TV wasn't a factor. One would think that being a believer since 1973 and being a former pastor I would stop playing with my p$*&s at age 55. Unfortuneately, most branches of Judaism accept homosexuality and some even perform "weddings" and the liar tell me how good it was in
        Egypt that I wouldn't have to struggle. I am going to paste a Scripture on my PC but most importantly, ask the Spirit of the Living G-d to change me and renew me.

      • J R
        i know what you are going through - i am 57 now and at 55 i battled - through prayer of others i am sure - i found a couple of youger guys whom were strugling
        Message 3 of 4 , Apr 19, 2006
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          i know what you are going through - i am 57 now and at 55 i battled -
          through prayer of others i am sure - i found a couple of youger
          guys whom were strugling with j/o and ssa and through them i have
          improved my stance on staying away from sites and j/o - no i am not
          totally cured but much improved - i also teach 7 - 8 graders as want
          to get their focus on god first in their life - that requires some
          bible study wall la i get some teaching while occuping myself on
          good things and even purifying myself through the process

          e-mail me anytime - i am most available during the week

          jarenken@...


          --- In Jesus-is-our-victory@yahoogroups.com, ezyiftosev@... wrote:
          >
          >
          > Yesterday evening I and a close , straight brother did some
          ministry
          > to a young married couple. It was very powerful. I get home and
          what do
          > I do? Look at X rated sites and masturbate. I have ED because of
          > diabetes and other conditions so I can't even get a decent
          erection,
          > but I don't know why I did it, why I so easily went to the porn
          sites
          > without a twinge of remorse.Later, after the fact, I was filled
          with
          > remorse and conviction. I feel like such a hypocrite, such a
          spiritual
          > defective, I think to myself, "Why keep up the charade?
          Christianity is
          > just another role among the theatrical presentations that I have
          > acted." After such a powerful night of ministry and I go back to
          eat
          > vomit and crap. The ONLY brother that I have really felt of the
          L-RD
          > to be accountable in person and I, our schedules are at conflict.
          For
          > months I have wanted to pray and seek counsel with the brother
          but our
          > schedules won't allow it. I realize the need and value of vis a
          vis
          > accountability but it has not come to fruition and now I feel
          like just
          > dropping the role.....Ezra
          >
        • Chux
          Exra: Please be patient with yourself. I know that God STILL believes in you. Confession is good for the soul, and you are STILL the apple of His eye. Yes,
          Message 4 of 4 , Apr 19, 2006
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            Exra:

            Please be patient with yourself. I know that God STILL believes in
            you. Confession is good for the soul, and you are STILL the apple
            of His eye. Yes, we ALL do things that we don't want to do, but
            thanks be to Almighty God that we are not consumed. His grace is
            sufficient for thee. Receive His grace, in Jesus Name!

            God Bless you.

            CR


            --- In Jesus-is-our-victory@yahoogroups.com, ezyiftosev@... wrote:
            >
            >
            > Yesterday evening I and a close , straight brother did some
            ministry
            > to a young married couple. It was very powerful. I get home and
            what do
            > I do? Look at X rated sites and masturbate. I have ED because of
            > diabetes and other conditions so I can't even get a decent
            erection,
            > but I don't know why I did it, why I so easily went to the porn
            sites
            > without a twinge of remorse.Later, after the fact, I was filled
            with
            > remorse and conviction. I feel like such a hypocrite, such a
            spiritual
            > defective, I think to myself, "Why keep up the charade?
            Christianity is
            > just another role among the theatrical presentations that I have
            > acted." After such a powerful night of ministry and I go back to
            eat
            > vomit and crap. The ONLY brother that I have really felt of the
            L-RD
            > to be accountable in person and I, our schedules are at conflict.
            For
            > months I have wanted to pray and seek counsel with the brother
            but our
            > schedules won't allow it. I realize the need and value of vis a
            vis
            > accountability but it has not come to fruition and now I feel
            like just
            > dropping the role.....Ezra
            >
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