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288Re: [Jesus-is-our-victory] Sexual Struggles

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  • Jimmy Jones
    Jun 1, 2005
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      Hey Will,
       
      Your story sounds EXACTLY like mine.  Married 13 yrs 4 kids wonderful wife madly in love with her, 36 yrs old, and then i struggle with this "mess".  The JO doesn't bother me so much as long as the I-net isn't involved.  I can JO "just because", without having to picture or fantasize about something or somebody.  But when i do it because of reading erotic stories or looking at erotic pictures, then i feel really bad.  My wife knows of my struggles as well, but it is not something that i discuss with her very much because I don't want her to think that i do this instead of being with her.  At one time it effected our sex life, because i would JO so much that i wouldn't have the drive to have sex when the time was right.  Now i take Welbutrin and that is no longer a problem.  I "feel" what brother buddy is saying here, but at the same time we do have to understand that God destroyed an entire city because of homosexuality.  Now that is not to say that we are condemned to hell because of this, the fact is I don't know, only God knows.  All we can to is try to stay away from it, pray about it (which works best for me), and find support groups like this one.  If we are washed in the blood of Christ then we are truly cleansed, but if we don't repent, then I am not sure what may happen.  God knows we are going to screw up.  He has been given the ultimate sacrifice to take care of these screw ups.  All we have to do is try, really hard i might add, to live according to the word of God.  Will if you are a believer and a follower you can do this with His help.  I will certainly pray for you and hope that all here will pray for me.
       
      I bombed just yesterday myself.  I had gone for about a week and a half without eroticism, or chating via email with some one.  Then last night it came on me like a fever.  Couldn't stand it had to do it, so i did.  Makes me feel really bad when i fail, but i just pray for God to forgive me and pray that He will streer me away from it.  Good luck dude.
       
      MN

      brother_buddy01 <brother_buddy01@...> wrote:
      a recent post from brothersinchrist@yahoogroups

      Hi Will, thanks for joining.  Hey it's difficult as far as the
      struggle stuff goes.  Have you ever questioned your sexuality in a
      way that perhaps you may be bisexual.  It's funny how most guys
      won't admit that but the majority of males do have bisexual desires
      though a good portion don't act on them for reasons perhaps they
      desire women more than males so it keeps them in a "safe" spot and
      free from public humiliation if ever caught.  Then there are the
      guys who sneak around and hide and enjoy sexual adventures with
      other men but would never admit it to anyone for fear of
      persecution. Immature male peer pressure. < Most of the bisexual men
      who are struggling fall into this category.  Sad to say that as
      hypocritical as it sounds, it is this group of men that comes down
      extra hard on the openly gay man.  Then there is this new breed of
      male that is into this denial attitude.  The modern word for it
      is "One the down-low".  This means men who call themselves straight
      but enjoy having sex with other guys just for sex but are still
      straight.  Sounds like bisexuality to me mingled with terrible
      ignorance.  If you are bisexual, that is ok.  I am a 42 year old gay
      man and have never been with a woman.  Have I ever desired a woman?,
      well I thought about maybe perhaps what it would be like but the
      drive for a woman is not that strong so it is easier for me avoid.
      Women are beautiful to me love flowers or sunsets.  There is no
      sexual draw there, but in certain males I see xexual beauty and that
      is different. It is my attraction to other males that is my hook
      line and sinker.  I started this group and am no better than anyone
      else here.  Why just this past weekend, I jacked several times and
      on the internet in private chat rooms with other men, some married,
      one was a very masculine looking fireman who enjoys cyber like I
      do.  I admit this to let you guys know that I am in the pot along
      side of you and I know the stronghold this stuff has in my life even
      now as a serious believer in Christ. Even though I have decided to
      make Christ my Lord now, the struggle has not gotten easire but
      somedtimes it feels like the heat is being turned up even!  Remember
      what John the Baptist said:  "I baptize you with water, but He who
      is coming will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."  Or
      what Paul wrote to the early believers who loved the Lord: "Why are
      you so perplexed by the firey trials that have befallen you. Don't
      you know that your enemy the devil roams about like a roaring lion
      seeking whom he may devour?"   It is by these and other trials that
      we are strengthened and learn to truely lean on God and then we see
      the growth and maturity afterward and produce fruit either of wisdom
      or strength or faith and trust.  Making us even stronger in God for
      the next trials ahead.  This power truely is of God and not
      ourselves, thank God.  Cause God knows how proud and puffed up man
      can get thinking that he is so spiritual and he himself is doing
      it.  Such a person is preparing his own great fall.  But even after
      a great fall there is time and a chance for renewal.  There is
      always hope.

      Please don't be so worried about what you call your"homo desires". 
      Honestly I do believe that that is part of your makeup.  I know it
      is part of mine.  I can't change that.  The only thing I can do is
      lean in on God and Christ.  I really don't ask God to change me
      sexually anymore.  But rather I ask God to help make me sexually
      pure in body and heart.  My sexuality hasn't changed, but what I do
      with my sexuality is the whole key. Making better choices regarding
      my sex drive. I am tired of hating myself because our culture
      dictates what a "real man" is.  In my opinion, a real man cares for
      his fellow man and tries to understand.  Walking a mile in his shoes
      so to speak and not the Neanderthal like aggressiveness we see in
      this fast paced competitive world that we are in.    The journey
      with Christ should not be by your own efforts but rather God has to
      show you stuff.  Continue to ask Him in prayer.  Be patient.  Even
      if you jack off 10 times a day, just go to Him for forgiveness every
      time and dwell on his mercy. You are no suprise to God and neither
      am I! ;-)  I can't say this enough and it has been working ever so
      slowly in my own life the phrase> "He who has been forgiven much,
      loves much.  Please feel free to share any of your struggles here. 
      God will bless you just try and spend some time with Him in quiet.
      Welcome to the group!
      Peace,
      John

      signshow2000 <signshow2000@...> wrote:
      Fellas,

      I am married man (14 yrs) who struggles with thinking about, looking
      at
      and lusting after other guys and j/o about them.  I am 39 yrs old,
      got
      4 kids and want to be free from my homo desires and j/o too!!  I
      love
      my wife, my kids and being married, but I have a monster in my
      life. 
      She knows about my battle and has known since we dated.  I also
      struggle with the internet, yuck.  I read the erotic stuff, not so
      much
      the porn...which I think is worse cuz then I imagine way too much!

      Will




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