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Say not even "Fie" to Parents

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  • Zafar Khan
    Say not even Fie to Parents 5/13/2007 - Religious Family - Article Ref: IC0305-1965 Number of comments: 35 By: Dr. Ahmad H. Sakr IslamiCity* -
    Message 1 of 1 , May 19, 2007
      Say not even "Fie" to Parents
      5/13/2007 - Religious Family - Article Ref:
      Number of comments: 35
      By: Dr. Ahmad H. Sakr
      IslamiCity* -



      In America there are many special days set aside to
      honor and appreciate special people. Some of these
      are: Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandfather's Day,
      Grandmother's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. We do
      realize the significance of these occasions and we
      recognize the ideas, ideals, and philosophies of such
      days. We appreciate the efforts of those who initiated
      these occasions for the recognition and appreciation
      of special people.

      As for the appreciation of parents, we admire the
      efforts of children who remember their parents on such
      occasions by sending them greeting cards and gifts.
      However, we hope that the appreciation is not for one
      single day in a year, but for every day throughout the


      A child should respect and appreciate his or her
      parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked
      human beings to recognize their parents after
      recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran, we
      notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation
      and with respect, even if they are senile. In Surah
      Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there is a very
      beautiful description of how parents are to be
      treated. Allah says:

      "Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save
      Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one
      of them or both of them attain old age with you, say
      not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto
      them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of
      submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy
      on them both, as they did care for me when I was
      young." [Quran 17:23-24]

      The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in
      the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah
      reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the
      care and love they have received from their parents.
      In the following verse, Allah demands that children
      recognize their parents:

      "We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents."
      [Quran 29:8 and 46:15]

      1. The demand for recognizing parents is made more
      emphaticly when Allah says in the Quran:

      "And (remember) when We made a covenant with the
      children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah
      (only), and be good to parents..." [Quran 2:83]

      2. In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah emphasizes
      again that children should be kind to their parents.

      "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him.
      (Show) Kindness unto parents... " [Quran 4:36]

      3. The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al
      An'Am (The Cattle), where Allah says:

      "Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your
      Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe
      nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to
      parents..." [Quran 6:151]


      Although Islam has clear directives to honor and
      respect both parents, mothers are given particular
      gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is
      understood if we realize the hardships and the
      suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In
      this regard, Prophet Muhammad said:

      It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to
      the Prophet and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my
      friendship?' The Prophet answered:

      Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your
      father, then the one closest to your kinship, and the
      one after.

      Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their
      children even if the parents are non-Muslims. Only if
      parents coerce their children against Islam, then the
      children have the right not to obey their parents, but
      they are still to be good to them. In this regard,
      Allah says in Surah Luqman:

      "And We have enjoined upon man concerning his
      parents--his mother beareth him in weakness upon
      weakness, and his weaning is in two years--Give thanks
      unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the
      journeying. But if they strive with you to make you
      ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no
      knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in
      the world kindly, and follow the part of him who
      repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I
      shall tell you what you used to do.--" [Quran


      Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes
      immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad
      (struggle and striving in the way of Allah). In this
      respect, the Prophet said the following:

      Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May
      Allah be pleased with him) saying: I asked the Prophet
      , "which deed is more liked by Allah?" He replied,
      "Prayers on time." Then I asked, "Which one is next?"
      He said, "Goodness to parents." Then I asked, "Then
      which one is next?" He said, "Jihad in the way of
      Allah." (Agreed)

      In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the
      child and his wealth are considered to be the property
      of the parents. In this regard, the Prophet said:

      Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the Prophet
      to resolve his dispute with his father regarding a
      loan given to the father. The Prophet said to the
      person, "You and your wealth are to your father."


      We hope and we pray that all of us will respect our
      parents while they are alive and even after they
      pass-away. You may honor your parents after they die
      through the following methods:

      Make daily Du'a (prayer) for them
      Give a charity on their behalf
      Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf - such
      as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an
      Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen's
      home, etc.
      Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.
      Read Quran on their behalf
      Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf
      Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best to
      respect our parents, to honor them, to be kind to
      them, to help them, and to please them for the love of

      O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us
      obedient servants to you.

      O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our
      parents. Ameen.
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