Re: A Rampant Social Evil
- What I have referred to as 'a rampant social evil' is seen poignantly portrayed in the concluding paragraph of Rev. K. K. John Achen's message # 29614. May I take the liberty to copy it below for the readers' convenient reference?
"It is an unpardonable crime to hide the truth for getting a marriage through. Many resort to this immoral practice and many fall victims. Truth will come out sooner or later and when it comes out what shall be the position of the liars or how they will compensate the damage? It is cheating. "You shall not cheat" is God's commandment, Lev 19:13. Cheating is a crime, not a virtue. Keep away from unchristian attitude. Do not aim at immediate gratifications. Think of the long term relationship. Be mindful of the punishment on the Day of Judgment, Johnachen."
'Rampant' is the apt word because MANY resort to this immoral practice, and MANY fall victims. 'MANY' means 'NOT A FEW'; NOT "a small section of our society," as affirmed by Mr. Ronnie Daniel.
Knowingly withholding truth just to see a marriage through is cheating first and last. Rev. John Achen's thoughtful advice is to refrain from cheating. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, and it pleases the Lord to release His bounteous blessings in an unfettered manner. Apostle Paul says that he gave up childish ways when he became a man. Giving up dishonesty is the ideal solution to the pestering problem. Lk. 6:31 also commends itself in the given context: "And as you wish that men would do to you, do so to them."
Unfair advantage gained through deliberate deception is NOT to be MISCHARACTERIZED as "God's will." It is NOT God's will for any one of His precious children to be deceived or defrauded. Our God is a Consuming Fire. "Vengeance is Mine," is His solemn declaration; and it will come to pass without fail at its appointed time.
Though the funny story of the child with Tonsillitis serves its intended purpose very well, it points to the husband's grievous lack of emotional maturity and mental stability. He must be encouraged to attend a Marriage Enrichment Course sooner, rather than later.
The underlying problem is the unfortunate obsession with the 'effect/result' to the total exclusion of the causative factors. Rev. John Achen's thrust is on eliminating the 'cause'; but Mr. Ronnie Daniel's focus is on altering the 'effect'
through "prayers." But not ALL prayers reach the Throne of Grace for want
of a clean and clear conscience on the part of the supplicant(s).
Nakkolackal V. L. Eapen,
St. Gregorios Church, Austin, TX.
P.S. One of the daughters of the late Rev. Priest (CSI) suffered from
Elephantiasis on one of her legs below the kneecap. She hadn't desired to get married AT ALL until her parents finally prevailed upon her to consent to entertaining marriage proposals on condition that she could draw the prospective grooms' attention to her physical malady which she did. At long
last, through Providential Grace, an eligible bachelor from an aristocratic family was so impressed by her candor and integrity that he insisted on marrying her despite his parents' objections. They had a long and blessed marital life to the envy of friends and foes alike.
- - In IndianOrthodox@yahoogroups.com, Nakkolackal V. L. Eapen, Austin, Texas <IndianOrthodox@...> wrote:
> Rev. John Achen's thrust is on eliminating the 'cause'; but Mr. Ronnie Daniel's focus is on altering the 'effect' through "prayers."Thank you Mr. Eapen. That is a fair assessment of my post and that was the exact message I wanted to convey.
It is a great and wonderful idea to eliminate the " cause ", but what I found in life is that it is not always possible to elimiante the cause as most of the causes are beyond our control.
What best we can do and what is really in our control is how we react to the "effect". That is where Prayer, Love, Sympathy and Compassion will be of help. Is it not what Jesus Christ and the Church is teaching us ??
I think the difference of opinion between us on this issue is because you beleive in a God who is a Consuming Fire looking for opportunity for Vengeance on us, whereas, I believe in a God who is compassionate and merciful.
- - In reply to Message #29728 by Mr. Ronnie Daniel, Toronto
Copied below is each of the points raised in the message for appropriate rebuttal.
1. "It is a great and wonderful idea to eliminate the 'cause', but what I found in life is that
it is not always possible to eliminate the cause as most of the causes are beyond
ALL things are possible to him/her that believes ALWAYS. No self-defeating trait in my character, whether it be the propensity to deceive others or any other weakness, is beyond the reach of divine grace. Once I turn to the Lord in prayer, and remorsefully surrender at His feet, the weak trait in my character, the Lord will heal me of it, and
renew me. Eliminating the 'cause', as recommended by Rev. John Achen, is that easy.
2. "What best we can do, and what is really in our control is how we react to the
'effect'. That is where Prayer, Love, Sympathy and Compassion will be of help. Is
it not what Jesus Christ and the Church teaching us??"
Once I unscrupulously exercise my freedom of choice, and arrange my child"s marriage through deception, my child's marriage is doomed to fail. The 'cause' is my deceitfulness to which my child also is a consenting party. The 'effect' is the misery of my child and that of the spouse in their marriage. My "prayer,love, sympathy, and compassion" will not serve in any way to mitigate the anguish and pain of their miserable marriage. They will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. Will it be possible on my part to pray for them with a CLEAN and CLEAR conscience? No, not at all. Even if I opt to pray, my prayer(s) won't reach the Throne of Grace for being answered.
The only alternative open to me is to get rid of the 'cause' (i.e. my deceitfulness) through divine help so that I won't repeat the mistake when I negotiate the marriages of my other children. The 'effect' ceases to recur when the 'cause' is eliminated.
3. "I think the difference of opinion between us on this issue is because you believe in a
God Who is a Consuming Fire looking for an opportunity for vengeance on us,
whereas, I believe in a God Who is compassionate and merciful."
I believe in one Holy God. I also believe that in order to have fellowship with Him, I need to seek His grace to eliminate ALL 'causes' that separate me from Him. Without holiness and without a CLEAN and CLEAR conscience, it is impossible to please Him. Fellowship with Him is always on His terms, NOT ours.
Nakkolackal V. L. Eapen,
St. Gregorios Church, Austin, TX.
- - In IndianOrthodox@yahoogroups.com, Nakkolackal VL Eapen <indianorthodox@...> wrote:
>Once I turn to the Lord in prayer, and remorsefully surrender at His feet, the weak trait in my character, the Lord will heal me of it, and renew me.That is what exactly I am writing right from the beginning of this conversation. The one who is cheating in a marriage require prayers for changing his character so that he does not repeat it; and the one who is cheated needs prayer to suffer the "effect" so that the consequences are not passed on to the next generation and the society as a whole. We cannot eliminate this evil by our own strength.
About Man's holiness and a CLEAN and CLEAR conscience in order to please God I think we are trying to re-invent the wheel here. St. Paul in his various epistles have made it amply clear that it is not my "clean and clear conscience" or rather my righteousness which brings me salvation. It is his grace and mercy of God which gives me salvation and a clean and clear conscience is the fruit of my salvation. St. Paul himself was the beneficiary of such mercy. God's abundant mercy came upon him on the way to Damascus. Was there any input from him for his salvation ??? Absolutely nothing, other than surrendering to the will of God. Saul became disabled when god's mercy had fallen upon him. Did he complain??. Absolutely not. His reply was " What is your will about me My Lord ?"
So, in the context of our current conversation about marriage; what we need for a marriage to last is our complete faith in God and surrendering to HIM who brought the two families in to a relationship. This whole conversation about cheating and being cheated shows our lack of salvation in my opinion.