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122FW: Support

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  • Graeme H
    Dec 1, 1999
      -----Original Message-----
      From: Jenkins, Bev [mailto:bkj@...]
      Sent: 01 December 1999 09:01
      To: 'David Lines'; 'Chris Marsden'; 'Graeme and Claire'
      Subject: Support

      > Dear Tech Support,
      > I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from
      > girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began
      > unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
      > resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
      > brochure.
      > In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
      > launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system
      > activity.
      > Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
      > Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
      > selected.
      > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
      > one of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to
      > Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help
      > me, please!!!
      > Thanks,
      > Joe
      > Dear Joe:
      > This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is mostly due
      > to a primary misconception. Many people ugrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
      > 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"
      > program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to
      > run
      > everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
      > convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
      > would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It
      > is
      > impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the
      > system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
      > 1.0 is not designed to do this.
      > Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
      > problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings -
      > Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with
      > the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
      > read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).
      > You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might
      > occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
      > enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the
      > "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
      > before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run
      > smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a
      > great program, but very high maintenance.
      > Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife
      > 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any
      > circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
      > supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
      > damage to the operating system.
      > Best of luck.
      > Tech Support