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Query suggestion for Phoenix

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  • Cindy Thomson
    Hi everyone, This is my first post. I don t have any historical fiction published yet, but I do have one that s gone to committee and I have sold a biography,
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 1, 2004
      Hi everyone,
      This is my first post. I don't have any historical fiction published
      yet, but I do have one that's gone to committee and I have sold a
      biography, so I hope you don't mind if I offer an opinion on JD's query
      for his (her?) novel. I was very intrigued. It sounds very interesting
      and it appears that a lot of research has gone into it. I'd like to see
      JD meet with success, so I hope it's okay if I offer a suggestion or
      two. See below:

      On Dec 1, 2004, at 7:07 AM, HistoricalNovelSociety@yahoogroups.com
      wrote:

      > Dozens of people have read it and most of them want to buy it
      > when it's published.
      When you say "most" you may be trying to be truthful, but it's saying
      something negative. Why point out that some didn't want to buy it? I'd
      leave the sentence out completely. Even if you said all wanted to read
      it, that wouldn't matter to an editor. For all he knows only your best
      friends read it and they would say good things anyway.
      However....including an endorsement from a historian, like you did, is
      a great idea!
      > Jan Wissink, a historian from Holland, recently read my
      > manuscript and wrote the following review:
      > John, your novel is so exciting and well written that I read it in
      > one day!
      > While reading it seems to me that you were there, you were one of the
      > emigrants. Excellent....
      >
      One more thing: the characters. You don't mention anyone by name. I
      think if you were a little more specific, name, occupation, what they
      had to lose/gain, the reader would become more involved.

      Just my 2 cents.

      Cindy Thomson


      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • janus440804
      Cindy, thanks for your suggestions and encouragement. I also want to thank John and Liz for their suggestions. I left out my name in the last posting; my
      Message 2 of 2 , Dec 1, 2004
        Cindy, thanks for your suggestions and encouragement. I also want to
        thank John and Liz for their suggestions. I left out my name in the
        last posting; my name is John Textor.
        Cindy, I will certainly update my query letter to include the points
        you have made. Yes, there were a lot of heroes aboard that burning
        ship, including David Blish, a Wisconsin merchant, who organized the
        bucket brigade, saved passengers from the burning compartments, and
        then gave up his own lifeboat seat to save other passengers.
        It is frustrating for a new writer to wait one year, which is
        apparently the average time to find a book agent. At this time I
        have sent out only a few inquiries. I will wait another month to do
        a mass query mailing to 40 book agents as recommended by John Shors
        and Liz. If I don't find a book agent, next year I may go with a
        smaller press and possibly subsidize the printing. There are over
        4,000 descendants of the survivors from that ship and many of them
        are eagerly awaiting the publication. I am glad that the book
        description intrigued you. I will post on this website when the book
        becomes available.
        John Textor

        --- In HistoricalNovelSociety@yahoogroups.com, Cindy Thomson
        <cindy@c...> wrote:
        > Hi everyone,
        > This is my first post. I don't have any historical fiction
        published
        > yet, but I do have one that's gone to committee and I have sold a
        > biography, so I hope you don't mind if I offer an opinion on JD's
        query
        > for his (her?) novel. I was very intrigued. It sounds very
        interesting
        > and it appears that a lot of research has gone into it. I'd like to
        see
        > JD meet with success, so I hope it's okay if I offer a suggestion
        or
        > two. See below:
        >
        > On Dec 1, 2004, at 7:07 AM, HistoricalNovelSociety@yahoogroups.com
        > wrote:
        >
        > > Dozens of people have read it and most of them want to buy it
        > > when it's published.
        > When you say "most" you may be trying to be truthful, but it's
        saying
        > something negative. Why point out that some didn't want to buy it?
        I'd
        > leave the sentence out completely. Even if you said all wanted to
        read
        > it, that wouldn't matter to an editor. For all he knows only your
        best
        > friends read it and they would say good things anyway.
        > However....including an endorsement from a historian, like you did,
        is
        > a great idea!
        > > Jan Wissink, a historian from Holland, recently read my
        > > manuscript and wrote the following review:
        > > John, your novel is so exciting and well written that I read it
        in
        > > one day!
        > > While reading it seems to me that you were there, you were one
        of the
        > > emigrants. Excellent....
        > >
        > One more thing: the characters. You don't mention anyone by name. I
        > think if you were a little more specific, name, occupation, what
        they
        > had to lose/gain, the reader would become more involved.
        >
        > Just my 2 cents.
        >
        > Cindy Thomson
        >
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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