http://www.livedash.com/transcript/in_living_color/0/Sunday_March_28_2010/237112/

00:10:38 Excuse me.
00:10:39 I'm sorry.
00:10:41 Will the owner of a pink isuzu please move it?
00:10:43 You're parked in a handicapped zone.
00:10:46 >> Oh, my!
00:10:48 I had no idea.
00:10:50 Tell me, how can I ever make it up to you?
00:10:56 >> Well, rubbing your breasts against me is a good start.
00:10:59 What am I saying?
00:11:00 I mean, I'm handiman.
00:11:01 I defend and protect the physically challenged.
00:11:05 >> Well, what would you say to a little physical challenge of our own?
00:11:11 >> Wow.
00:11:13 I must have left my handi-shorts in the dryer too long.
00:11:17 >> I know we've just met, but i would be so happy if you would wear this little chain for me.
00:11:25 You make me hotter than orthopedic shoes on georgia asphalt.
00:11:30 >> Georgia asphalt?
00:11:31 Oh, no.
00:11:32 What's happening?
00:11:34 What's wrong?
00:11:38 The medallion.
00:11:40 It must be made of -- criponite.
00:11:45 The one substance that renders me totally powerless.
00:11:50 >> Well, what's the trouble, sugar?
00:11:52 >> I feel fine when I sit down, but when I stand up, things go 'round and 'round.
00:11:56 >> Oh, my.
00:12:03 >> Handiman, a pleasure, as always.
00:12:08 I was just thinking about you as I ran over a seeing-eye dog.
00:12:14 >> Dr. naughty.
00:12:15 I should have known.
00:12:16 You betrayed me.
00:12:21 >> Oh.
00:12:23 >> Please, handi, did you really think a woman as alluring as my -- nurse kaiser, could actually be attracted to the likes of you?
00:12:33 >> No, she's only attracted to the sexually disabled.
00:12:36 >> I didn't tell him.
00:12:37 I swear!
00:12:39 >> Have your little joke, handiman.
00:12:41 Your kind won't be laughing long.
00:12:46 Doug, why don't you help that four-legged fellow get his bearings?
00:12:54 >> You've gone too far, dr. naughty.
00:13:00 I still can muster up enough strength to take care of you and this big-headed bully.
00:13:07 Let's get busy.
00:13:08 >> May I have a scotch and soda, please?
00:13:11 >> Get him, doug.
00:13:14 >> I was just kidding about the big-headed stuff.
00:13:21 >> Oh, yes.
00:13:22 >> Oh, that's got to hurt.
00:13:23 You had enough?
00:13:33 >> Clean up this mess, handi-wipe.
00:13:35 [ Laughing ] >> gosh, I'm so embarrasse ?? how dry I am ??
00:13:58 [ hiccup ] ?? how dry I am -- ??
00:14:06 >> I've been defeated.
00:14:08 I'll never be able to hold my head up and look people straight in the eye again.
00:14:17 >> You could never hold your head up and look people straight in the eye.
00:14:19 >> Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:14:24 Pour me another drink, please.
00:14:25 >> Oh, handi!
00:14:27 Oh, just look at you.
00:14:28 What have I done?
00:14:30 I've been so riddled with guilt I can't even sleep at night.
00:14:34 There was one thing I hadn't counted on.
00:14:37 I didn't count on falling in love with you.
00:14:41 >> Well, you got a funny way of showing your affection.
00:14:45 Look at me.
00:14:46 It's too late.
00:14:47 I've lost my super powers.
00:14:50 >> You mustn't say that.
00:14:52 No, you have to pull yourself together, handi.
00:14:54 The power is within you.
00:14:56 It's always been there.
00:14:58 Just break that chain.
00:15:03 >> I can't do it.
00:15:04 >> You've got to.
00:15:05 >> I can't do it.
00:15:06 >> Oh, you've got too.
00:15:12 >> I did it!
00:15:13 I'm back!
00:15:16 [ Humming fanfare ] >> I'm so proud of you.
00:15:24 >> I got to go stop dr. naughty.
00:15:29 Please meet me at my place tonight.
00:15:31 >> Oh.
00:15:35 >> Sorry.
00:15:35 Up, up, and awa >> ah-ha!
00:15:47 Another wheelchair ramp in utah has been turned into stairs.
00:15:52 Soon every handicapped toilet in the country will have a little, narrow doorway and every hearing aid will share a radio frequency with howard stern!
00:16:04 >> Not so fast, dr. naughty.
00:16:06 It looks like the shoe is on the other clubfoot.
00:16:12 >> Handiman, how could this be possible?
00:16:14 The criponite.
00:16:16 >> Haven't you learned?
00:16:18 Never underestimate the powers of the handicapped.
00:16:21 >> Throw him in the cripo-pit.
00:16:27 >> So remember the visit to alamo.
00:16:33 >> Curse you, handiman.
00:16:36 >> Tell it to the judge, dr. naughty.
00:16:39 >> Oh, handi!
00:16:42 >> Nurse kaiser, how could you?
00:16:46 >> Once you go handicapped, you'll never go back.
00:16:52 >> Come on, nurse kaiser.
00:16:53 We got a lot of catching up to do.
00:16:56 Up, up, and away!
00:16:58 Wait a minute.
00:16:58 I can't fly.
00:17:00 Well, hang on to my handi-shorts.