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Lori

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  • Leisa
    Lori, it will be a year the last week of June when Drakies owners had him put down due to stones..I won t go into details why he had stones at less than a year
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 19, 2002
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      Lori, it will be a year the last week of June
      when Drakies owners had him put down due to
      stones..I won't go into details why he had stones
      at less than a year old, but we had taken him to
      the vet for them numerous times since he had
      come here and had surgery appointment the first
      week of July for him...She took him to the vet
      for a blockage and brought me a dead baby goat
      back...Angry, Hurt, Guilt, (he'd be alive if We
      had taken him) and you name it were how we
      felt....still feel. Yeah, he was blocked, but he
      was gonna get it fixed, and itwas only sand
      size...
      I still cry over him, visit his grave, talk t
      him....
      I asked him toforgive me, Ifeel as if it is my
      fault for not taking him myself to the vet. The
      owner said she didn't want to put money in
      him....
      Just a baby.. So I know what you are going
      through, I still look at the corner of the porch
      where he loved laying, and see his little head
      looking up, lips quivering for a goodie! Time
      has helped somewhat, not much tho. I only had
      him here for about 2 months and was quite
      attached to him, if something happened to Trouble
      or Cry, I would just totally lose it...
      I tried talking to others about the pain, the
      empty feeling and all, most just looked at me
      weird...the only ones who understood were those
      who had pet goats and loved them.
      I wish there was something to say or someway to
      ease your pain, for it is actual pain, an ache in
      your heart..but all I can do is say, I understand
      and if you ever need to talk it out, I will be
      glad to listen.
      You gave Pan a wonderful life, he loved you and
      you loved him...he was a lucky goat. There is no
      need to feel guilt, as he was in pain, but like
      me you say "what if"... All I can say is that
      when they are in terrible pain with no light at
      the end of the tunnel, sometimes the hardest
      thing to do is to let them go. We will all be
      reunited with our guys on the Rainbow Bridge-that
      I believe with all my being. Somewhere out there
      is a goatie that needs you, needs your love,
      needs you to be his/her momma...look for him, he
      will never be Pan, but when you see this goatie,
      you will know Pan is approving.
      You have wonderful memories of Pan, cherish them,
      remember how he made you smile...
      Leisa

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