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RedneckReview: 14yo Uses Local Neighborhood Deer Sanctuary for First Kill

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    RedneckReview: 14yo Uses Local Neighborhood Deer Sanctuary for First Kill Mom Brings 14yo Son to Local Neighborhood Deer Sanctuary for His First Kill on The
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 12, 2004
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      RedneckReview: 14yo Uses Local Neighborhood Deer Sanctuary for First
      Kill

      Mom Brings 14yo Son to Local Neighborhood Deer
      Sanctuary for His First Kill on The Last Day of Season

      this reporter just got a distressed call from a highly-regarded
      personal aquaintance,
      speaking of the incident she witnessed, which occured on the last day
      of the local
      deer season -

      Evidently there are three doelings who regularly feed at the witness'
      goat hay pile in (redacted), (redacted).
      my friend in (redacted) had just finished her breakfast and was about
      to begin moving about outside her home with the usual chores for her
      animals, when she heard the report of the firearm used in the kill.

      (which beleeve et er nawt was a cheap AK-47 WarMart cloned assault
      rifle, if ya know what i mean jak)

      The Victim was the Runt of the Three Doelings.

      My Friend got to rush out in panic just in time to see the Juvenile
      Involved claim his "trophy",(the friendly runt)and begin dressing it
      out on the spot.

      (lak a Gud Buey shud jak, befo dem bowls gets ta stinkin)

      (insert sounds of screaming, disembowling & retching here)

      Final Analysis:

      The area seemed to have gained a reputation as a 'deer crossing',
      probably due to the fact that three of the neighbors operated an
      informal deer sanctuary in that locale, so it transpired that some
      strange woman from another area drove by, dropped her 14yo boy off,
      to do his "hunting business", in the middle of a local street cluster
      of 4 dwellings and right across the street from the witness's
      dwelling.

      However as there were four residences adjacent to that locale, not to
      mention the two separate horse and goat pasturages adjacent, with
      attendant numerous and sociable domestic animals, it did indeed
      result in several calls to local law enforcement office from the
      Various Property Owners, which final Alleged Police Action occured
      thus-

      Evidently It Appeared that some Minor Infraction had occured after
      all, due to the use of Firearms Near Dwellings etc, however since the
      deer were in season and the firearm "legally" was within bounds of
      Good Taste, the Deputy at the Scene Elected to Release the Firearm
      and the Body of the Doeling to the Juvenile and a Summary Fine of
      some Trivial Amount in Citation Form.

      The Witness was Refused Custody of The Runt's body, even though she
      had Other Witnesses' Attesting In Person to The Fact of Said
      Witness's extensive personal care and feeding of Said Runt Doeling.

      words cannot adequately convey this reporters deep personal disgust
      at this senseless incident, which callous and deadly manner seems to
      have become typical across the Ghoul Nation these last few years as
      residential and industrial development increases...

      however in closing, one cannot help but wonder, who are these overly-
      much-hyped "Fundamentalist Religious Terrorists" who represent that
      vaunted "Threat To US All!" (insert Flag Waving Moron here) in
      actuality...
      as it would appear that the young human male, no doubt a role model
      for his kind, going at last through his common-if-archaic rite of
      passage to "manhood", in that notoriously cruel and naive
      fundamentalist culture, indeed met all the criteria extant.

      names and locales of the incident must unfortunately remain anonymous
      for security reasons at this time.

      ...
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