Re: [Generation-Mixed] Re: (unknown)
- Wow, although that experience with your friend is truly sad, it doesn't really surprise me that she would say things like that. There are racial/social issues I still won't discuss with my some of my white friends/peers because many of them honestly don't understand where people of color are coming from when we talk about "discrimination" or "sacrifice"
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "rosanna_armendariz" <rosanna_armendariz@...>Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2010 03:53:13 -0000To: <Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com>Subject: [Generation-Mixed] Re: (unknown)
Ashley,I know what you mean about not being able to be your whole self. Recently I had a White friend with whom I thought I had a lot in common, but then the topic of race came up and I found out different.
I mentioned that I had been offered a contract by a small press to publish one of my manuscripts and that I declined the offer because their contract was not something I could sign (for a variety of business reasons). Anyway,I provided her w/a link to the press just in case she was curious. Now it so happens the press is run by two Black people and they are interested in publishing the work of people of color and women of all colors. Well, when my "friend" saw their webpage, she immediately emailed me and said that she thought they were "prejudiced" for "excluding" White people. I pointed out that they would consider women authors of all colors. She then got upset that they were "excluding" White men. I pointed out to her that White men have not lacked for opportunites in our society or any society, throughout history and in the present day. She disagreed and said that her husband (a White man) had to quit sports in high school to get a part-time job to help with expenses at home. She then went on to say that she had been "discriminated against" by Black people throughout her life. I asked her for examples. She said that in college she accidentally walked into a meeting of the Black student organization and they all "glared" at her. And later, the Black women at her job took a long time to warm up to her. I asked her if her coworkers had been White, would she have expected them to immediately be her new best friends. She didn't really have a clear answer for that, but insisted she'd been discriminated against.
I was dumbfounded that this person believes she's been the victim of racism because all the Black people she's met didn't automatically want to be her bff. And that she thinks her husband lacks opportunities because he had to get a part-time job in high school instead of playing sports. I realized I really didn't know this woman at all and she had no clue where i was coming from. We're no longer friends.
In Generation-Mixed@ yahoogroups. com,
"ashley717717" <ashley717717@ ...> wrote:
That may be true in general, but I've also found that generalizing can turn into
ourselves being prejudiced because everybody is different, and we really have to
look at each person as unique. I've been told I have the biggest chip on my
shoulder that anybody has ever seen, because I'm so skeptical about who will
understand me the most and who will accept me that I start out being closed up
and kinda defensive already that looks like hostility, and that just puts more
bricks in the wall.
I was at a powwow once and some White people would walk up to me and say things
that were well intentioned from their ignorant point of view but were really
ignorant. I answered them kind of sarcastically and a medicine man who was very
special to me called me on it. He told me that the person really didn't know any
better and that I was not helping by the attitude that I had and that it would
be better if I would just explain things and answer their questions calmly.
I have encountered Afro-Americans who were just as racist as anyone could be.
So now, I try to start out neutrally, but I don't give a lot of information any
more at all. I'm sort of an enigma to people. I've met a lot of nice people too,
who think they accept me, but they really don't know me. I know basically which
subjects to avoid, like capitalism. It's kinda lonely not being able to share
my innermost self with people. It's like I can share one thing with an Indian
cuz s/he'll understand, but not another thing which I can share with an educated
White person, while that same White person could never understand why I'm not a
capitalist. It would be so wonderful to find people who could relate to all of
me, but it's me that has to accept that they just can't.
Actually, the people who understand me most are other mixed people, like you
all,, even if we don't agree on a solution or direction we do understand the
situation and reason for that direction.
I've been talking to my grown son recently also about the census and
self-identity - who I am to me, and who I am to you.
In Generation-Mixed@ yahoogroups. com,
Tonya <latonyabeatty76@ ...> wrote:
You made a good point Ashley. Also for me, a white person is not going to see
or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the black
and American Indian community.
On Tue, 3/30/10, ashley smith
<ashley717717@ yahoo.com> wrote:
to Philip Arnell, The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected
to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect.
I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me.
They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even
little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of
knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual
understanding, no. I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne
movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a
clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know
because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the
capitalistic system that they are so invested in.