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  • ashley smith
    to Philip Arnell,  The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected to the European side is that the European don t relate when trying to connect.
    Message 1 of 5 , Mar 30, 2010
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      to Philip Arnell,  The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect. I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me. They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual understanding, no.  I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the capitalistic system that they are so invested in.

    • Tonya
      You made a good point Ashley.  Also for me, a white person is not going to see or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the
      Message 2 of 5 , Mar 30, 2010
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        You made a good point Ashley.  Also for me, a white person is not going to see or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the black and American Indian community. 
         
        Tonya

        --- On Tue, 3/30/10, ashley smith <ashley717717@...> wrote:

        From: ashley smith <ashley717717@...>
        Subject: [Generation-Mixed] (unknown)
        To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
        Date: Tuesday, March 30, 2010, 9:05 AM

         
        to Philip Arnell,  The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect. I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me. They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual understanding, no.  I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the capitalistic system that they are so invested in.


      • ashley717717
        That may be true in general, but I ve also found that generalizing can turn into ourselves being prejudiced because everybody is different, and we really have
        Message 3 of 5 , Mar 31, 2010
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          That may be true in general, but I've also found that generalizing can turn into ourselves being prejudiced because everybody is different, and we really have to look at each person as unique. I've been told I have the biggest chip on my shoulder that anybody has ever seen, because I'm so skeptical about who will understand me the most and who will accept me that I start out being closed up and kinda defensive already that looks like hostility, and that just puts more bricks in the wall.
          I was at a powwow once and some White people would walk up to me and say things that were well intentioned from their ignorant point of view but were really ignorant. I answered them kind of sarcastically and a medicine man who was very special to me called me on it. He told me that the person really didn't know any better and that I was not helping by the attitude that I had and that it would be better if I would just explain things and answer their questions calmly.
          I have encountered Afro-Americans who were just as racist as anyone could be.
          So now, I try to start out neutrally, but I don't give a lot of information any more at all. I'm sort of an enigma to people. I've met a lot of nice people too, who think they accept me, but they really don't know me. I know basically which subjects to avoid, like capitalism. It's kinda lonely not being able to share my innermost self with people. It's like I can share one thing with an Indian cuz s/he'll understand, but not another thing which I can share with an educated White person, while that same White person could never understand why I'm not a capitalist. It would be so wonderful to find people who could relate to all of me, but it's me that has to accept that they just can't.
          Actually, the people who understand me most are other mixed people, like you all,, even if we don't agree on a solution or direction we do understand the situation and reason for that direction.
          I've been talking to my grown son recently also about the census and self-identity - who I am to me, and who I am to you.




          In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
          Tonya <latonyabeatty76@...> wrote:

          You made a good point Ashley. Also for me, a white person is not going to see or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the black and American Indian community.

          Tonya



          On Tue, 3/30/10, ashley smith
          <ashley717717@...> wrote:



          to Philip Arnell, The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect. I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me. They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual understanding, no. I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the capitalistic system that they are so invested in.
        • rosanna_armendariz
          Ashley,I know what you mean about not being able to be your whole self. Recently I had a White friend with whom I thought I had a lot in common, but then the
          Message 4 of 5 , Apr 7 8:53 PM
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            Ashley,I know what you mean about not being able to be your whole self. Recently I had a White friend with whom I thought I had a lot in common, but then the topic of race came up and I found out different.

            I mentioned that I had been offered a contract by a small press to publish one of my manuscripts and that I declined the offer because their contract was not something I could sign (for a variety of business reasons). Anyway,I provided her w/a link to the press just in case she was curious. Now it so happens the press is run by two Black people and they are interested in publishing the work of people of color and women of all colors. Well, when my "friend" saw their webpage, she immediately emailed me and said that she thought they were "prejudiced" for "excluding" White people. I pointed out that they would consider women authors of all colors. She then got upset that they were "excluding" White men. I pointed out to her that White men have not lacked for opportunites in our society or any society, throughout history and in the present day. She disagreed and said that her husband (a White man) had to quit sports in high school to get a part-time job to help with expenses at home. She then went on to say that she had been "discriminated against" by Black people throughout her life. I asked her for examples. She said that in college she accidentally walked into a meeting of the Black student organization and they all "glared" at her. And later, the Black women at her job took a long time to warm up to her. I asked her if her coworkers had been White, would she have expected them to immediately be her new best friends. She didn't really have a clear answer for that, but insisted she'd been discriminated against.

            I was dumbfounded that this person believes she's been the victim of racism because all the Black people she's met didn't automatically want to be her bff. And that she thinks her husband lacks opportunities because he had to get a part-time job in high school instead of playing sports. I realized I really didn't know this woman at all and she had no clue where i was coming from. We're no longer friends.


            In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
            "ashley717717" <ashley717717@...> wrote:


            That may be true in general, but I've also found that generalizing can turn into
            ourselves being prejudiced because everybody is different, and we really have to
            look at each person as unique. I've been told I have the biggest chip on my
            shoulder that anybody has ever seen, because I'm so skeptical about who will
            understand me the most and who will accept me that I start out being closed up
            and kinda defensive already that looks like hostility, and that just puts more
            bricks in the wall.
            I was at a powwow once and some White people would walk up to me and say things
            that were well intentioned from their ignorant point of view but were really
            ignorant. I answered them kind of sarcastically and a medicine man who was very
            special to me called me on it. He told me that the person really didn't know any
            better and that I was not helping by the attitude that I had and that it would
            be better if I would just explain things and answer their questions calmly.
            I have encountered Afro-Americans who were just as racist as anyone could be.
            So now, I try to start out neutrally, but I don't give a lot of information any
            more at all. I'm sort of an enigma to people. I've met a lot of nice people too,
            who think they accept me, but they really don't know me. I know basically which
            subjects to avoid, like capitalism. It's kinda lonely not being able to share
            my innermost self with people. It's like I can share one thing with an Indian
            cuz s/he'll understand, but not another thing which I can share with an educated
            White person, while that same White person could never understand why I'm not a
            capitalist. It would be so wonderful to find people who could relate to all of
            me, but it's me that has to accept that they just can't.
            Actually, the people who understand me most are other mixed people, like you
            all,, even if we don't agree on a solution or direction we do understand the
            situation and reason for that direction.
            I've been talking to my grown son recently also about the census and
            self-identity - who I am to me, and who I am to you.


            In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
            Tonya <latonyabeatty76@...> wrote:


            You made a good point Ashley. Also for me, a white person is not going to see
            or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the black
            and American Indian community.

            Tonya


            On Tue, 3/30/10, ashley smith
            <ashley717717@...> wrote:


            to Philip Arnell, The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected
            to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect.
            I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me.
            They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even
            little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of
            knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual
            understanding, no. I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne
            movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a
            clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know
            because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the
            capitalistic system that they are so invested in.
          • brep91@yahoo.com
            Wow, although that experience with your friend is truly sad, it doesn t really surprise me that she would say things like that. There are racial/social issues
            Message 5 of 5 , Apr 8 8:10 AM
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              Wow, although that experience with your friend is truly sad, it doesn't really surprise me that she would say things like that. There are racial/social issues I still won't discuss with my some of my white friends/peers because many of them honestly don't understand where people of color are coming from when we talk about "discrimination" or "sacrifice"

              Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®


              From: "rosanna_armendariz" <rosanna_armendariz@...>
              Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2010 03:53:13 -0000
              To: <Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com>
              Subject: [Generation-Mixed] Re: (unknown)

               

              Ashley,I know what you mean about not being able to be your whole self. Recently I had a White friend with whom I thought I had a lot in common, but then the topic of race came up and I found out different.

              I mentioned that I had been offered a contract by a small press to publish one of my manuscripts and that I declined the offer because their contract was not something I could sign (for a variety of business reasons). Anyway,I provided her w/a link to the press just in case she was curious. Now it so happens the press is run by two Black people and they are interested in publishing the work of people of color and women of all colors. Well, when my "friend" saw their webpage, she immediately emailed me and said that she thought they were "prejudiced" for "excluding" White people. I pointed out that they would consider women authors of all colors. She then got upset that they were "excluding" White men. I pointed out to her that White men have not lacked for opportunites in our society or any society, throughout history and in the present day. She disagreed and said that her husband (a White man) had to quit sports in high school to get a part-time job to help with expenses at home. She then went on to say that she had been "discriminated against" by Black people throughout her life. I asked her for examples. She said that in college she accidentally walked into a meeting of the Black student organization and they all "glared" at her. And later, the Black women at her job took a long time to warm up to her. I asked her if her coworkers had been White, would she have expected them to immediately be her new best friends. She didn't really have a clear answer for that, but insisted she'd been discriminated against.

              I was dumbfounded that this person believes she's been the victim of racism because all the Black people she's met didn't automatically want to be her bff. And that she thinks her husband lacks opportunities because he had to get a part-time job in high school instead of playing sports. I realized I really didn't know this woman at all and she had no clue where i was coming from. We're no longer friends.

              In Generation-Mixed@ yahoogroups. com,
              "ashley717717" <ashley717717@ ...> wrote:

              That may be true in general, but I've also found that generalizing can turn into
              ourselves being prejudiced because everybody is different, and we really have to
              look at each person as unique. I've been told I have the biggest chip on my
              shoulder that anybody has ever seen, because I'm so skeptical about who will
              understand me the most and who will accept me that I start out being closed up
              and kinda defensive already that looks like hostility, and that just puts more
              bricks in the wall.
              I was at a powwow once and some White people would walk up to me and say things
              that were well intentioned from their ignorant point of view but were really
              ignorant. I answered them kind of sarcastically and a medicine man who was very
              special to me called me on it. He told me that the person really didn't know any
              better and that I was not helping by the attitude that I had and that it would
              be better if I would just explain things and answer their questions calmly.
              I have encountered Afro-Americans who were just as racist as anyone could be.
              So now, I try to start out neutrally, but I don't give a lot of information any
              more at all. I'm sort of an enigma to people. I've met a lot of nice people too,
              who think they accept me, but they really don't know me. I know basically which
              subjects to avoid, like capitalism. It's kinda lonely not being able to share
              my innermost self with people. It's like I can share one thing with an Indian
              cuz s/he'll understand, but not another thing which I can share with an educated
              White person, while that same White person could never understand why I'm not a
              capitalist. It would be so wonderful to find people who could relate to all of
              me, but it's me that has to accept that they just can't.
              Actually, the people who understand me most are other mixed people, like you
              all,, even if we don't agree on a solution or direction we do understand the
              situation and reason for that direction.
              I've been talking to my grown son recently also about the census and
              self-identity - who I am to me, and who I am to you.

              In Generation-Mixed@ yahoogroups. com,
              Tonya <latonyabeatty76@ ...> wrote:

              You made a good point Ashley. Also for me, a white person is not going to see
              or accept me as one of their own, as were I would be more accepted by the black
              and American Indian community.

              Tonya

              On Tue, 3/30/10, ashley smith
              <ashley717717@ yahoo.com> wrote:

              to Philip Arnell, The main reason that a mixed person might not feel connected
              to the European side is that the European don't relate when trying to connect.
              I'm very familiar with my European/White side but they just don't understand me.
              They don't understand my way of seeing the world, my values, my priorities. Even
              little things like the way we walk in the woods. An intellectual connection of
              knowledge of history and the family tree I have,, a relationship of mutual
              understanding, no. I'm afraid many of them have watched too many John Wayne
              movies and they believe the stereotypical portrayal of Indians, and haven't a
              clue as to what my real culture and context is. And they don't want to know
              because my concept of the land and possession and care of it runs counter to the
              capitalistic system that they are so invested in.

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