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Re: How are you treated or viewed by monoracials?

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  • K Major Delaney
    Hey, Micah....I wasn t offended in the least so it s OK. That is what discussion is all about, right? LOL BTW, you asked if I have children. Unfortunately, I
    Message 1 of 12 , Jul 7, 2008
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      Hey, Micah....I wasn't offended in the least so it's OK.
      That is what discussion is all about, right? LOL

      BTW, you asked if I have children. Unfortunately, I do not.
      I do, however, have two nephews who are part Filipino
      and my sister raises them along with their father to
      know everything about their roots and let's them decide
      how they want to define themselves which I agree with.

      One is drawn more to "hapas" like himself and the other
      embraces more of the African-American color
      side. Go figure!
      Even between me and my four younger middle-aged sisters,
      we gravitate to friends from different ethnic backgrounds.
      A lot of my friends are now white ethnics
      - guess that is because of living in Oregon - but
      in California, my friend pool was quite multiracial.

      And about tracing my African ancestry through DNA?
      I have been curious but as I understand,
      those tests can be prohibitively expensive.
      Plus, I don't know how much African blood they'd really find.

      Thanks for asking.....Kim



      **************************************


      Micah wrote:

      Hi Kim!

      Thanks for your reply!

      I've been a lurker on this group as well, lol.

      I do apologize if anything that I wrote offended you.
      I do agree that just about everybody in the U.S. is mixed", but
      they all don't choose to "acknowledge" or even "accept" that fact.
      They may not even know what their mixed ancestry is.
      That's the reason why I used the word "monoracial".
      It was out of respect.
      Even though you can clearly see someone is "mixed"
      they may only choose to identify as "monoracial".
      I do agree with you that race is just an artifice,
      but unfortunately, that's how it is in America, LOL.
      It seems like the majority are consumed with race and
      want to put you in this neat little box. A, B, or C.
      Whether we choose to believe that or not, we are all judged
      by our outward appearance first and then the rest follows.
      It's sad though, because it shouldn't be that way.
      I think that, we as a people, have a long
      way to go, when it comes to just "being".
      You know what I mean?
      That's what my experiences, and what I see around me tell me.

      I am multiracial, like you, but I don't self identify
      as "Black" only, because that's not who I am.
      No offense, because I still respect anyone who does.
      I was also raised with a mixed culture and didn't grow
      up with mainly one culture, or felt that I had to choose.
      I just felt a connection to many.
      And as a kid, life sorta taught me to "get in, where u fit in" LOL.
      Bad thing, is that most of my childhood friends were not black.
      I actually caught a lot of grief in school.
      You could clearly look at me and tell that I have
      "African" ancestry, and I'm proud of it, but it seemed
      like it was people's jobs to point out the differences.
      Or what they felt, made me different and not like them.
      I was harrassed and called so many names it's not even funny,
      LOL But yeah, now I can laugh about it, because kids will be kids.
      C'est La Vie!

      I actually had the chance to grow up in different places.
      I grew up in South Florida, Hawaii, New York, and in Michigan.
      Yeah, I know that's a lot of places.

      Do you have any kids?
      What would you tell them to call themselves or identify as?
      I hate to ask that question, but you know they will get the questions.
      An episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, actually prompted that question.

      Do you believe in African ancetry testing to trace back you roots?
      Thanks again for your reply!

      Micah

      P.S. I think your husband has a good point there!
    • tmdenmark
      I have a bit of a different experience. I m a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM (African, Irish, German, English) that has had a lifetime of weird (sometimes
      Message 2 of 12 , Aug 4, 2008
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        I have a bit of a different experience. I'm a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM (African, Irish, German, English) that has had a lifetime of weird (sometimes derogatory) comments made toward me over the years.

        Now that I'm darn near 40 years old, some of them make me laugh and
        some of them still make me just shake my head in awe at ignorance:

        "Me and you would make cute babies...with those green eyes."
        "Your dirty. Your skin is dirty." (From a 7 year old white child)
        "Now...you're Cuban, right?"
        "You're different from other Black people."
        "If you marry a a light skinned man, you'll have really cute babies."
        "Don't marry a Black man...your kids will have nappy hair."

        I'm the youngest of 7 and until I went to Kindergarden, I was pretty
        isolated. I didn't see anyone but my immediate family until then, so it was normal for me to see skin color every shade of brown and eye color from beige to blue. When I went to kindergarden, I remember coming home to report to my mother that "White people aren't white...they're peach!" My Mother chuckled and said, "Baby, if you want to call them peach, you call them peach."

        During that same age, I girl came to me and asked, "Are you mixed?"
        I had NO idea what she meant. No one had ever asked that and I'd
        never heard that phrase before. I asked her, "What does that mean?" she matter-of-factly said, "Yo Momma or Daddy must be white." when I said, "No they're not." I don't think she quite believed me.

        I can recall as a child, adults fussing over me, my skin color, my
        eye color, my hair, telling me they wanted me to be their son's
        wife. I never understood it until I got older. To some Black
        people, I was a "prize", to other's a threat. One of my best
        friend's, friends said to me, point blank..."I never liked light
        skinned sista's...because they always took the Black men!" I was
        like, "Whaa...??" I wanted to say, "Don't blame my skin tone for
        your inadequacies or lack of personality."...but I DIDN'T SAY IT!
        Although I wanted to.

        I recall being in a diversity training class 2 years ago. Each ethnicity was asked to present themselves. It was then that I
        realized I was the only person there of African descent. My training colleagues were shocked when the first statement I made was, "Not all brown people are of African descent." I heard gasps, I heard hushed tones of "Really.", "Wow." etc. When I began to share with them my own heritage, I could still see a little "shock" on their faces. I was comforted in knowing that I educated a few people with a little more knowledge.

        When I began to research my family geneology, I found the Irish
        side. I went to an Irish shop in my city. ALL things from Ireland.
        I thought, "Great!" When I went into the shop, the shop keeper
        greated me with nicely. When I began to inquire about my ancestry
        name, our coat of arms, the tartan...she seemed to get more and more
        irritated. I wasn't sure if it was because of my questions or me, so I just left the shop. My biggest disappointment is having a heritage I don't feel comfortable celebrating. Black people don't believe me ... and the Irish don't receive me. So...I'm content enough in who God created me to be that the small people and small minds don't bother me. :-D



        In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
        Micah <micahusa@...> wrote:


        Hi everybody! I'm Micah

        I wanted to ask some questions.

        How are you viewed by monoracials? 

        How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a mix of
        Black and White, how do they react to you when they discover your
        background? Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel that you
        are treated with indifference?

        As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European. Some
        people get confused, because they don't know my background. Most
        people can usually tell what I am, and most just assume full
        Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly. They say, "Oh yeah, you do
        look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.  I've had a lot of Asians ask
        if I were mixed with Asian and they were very accepting, but they
        were the younger ones. What I find weird is how some of the older
        Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly
        let me know that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in this Korean market the other day buying black bean paste to make Jjajang myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun", lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

        Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
        staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

        The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
        Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like, "You are a handsome young man". He would also ask where I was from almost
        every single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol. But he
        was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls me aside
        and says "You¢re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese,
        aren¡t you?" I told him my background, then from that day on he told
        me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty
        shocked at his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the
        same time.

        He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
        needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know.  Later on, he
        even went on to say that he was going to arrange a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was okay for me to "date" others, but not to marry or have kids with anyone other than an Asian, LOL.
        Also that are babies would be beautiful.  Don't get me wrong, he is
        an awesome guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views and opinions. I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

        Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year, about who I should
        marry. I'm not sure why, lol. She told me that I should marry either
        a Polynesian or Asian and never an American (white or black). I am
        guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

        That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
        perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else could say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

        I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!
        Hope no one was offended by my email. 

        Ciao!

        Micah
      • Rosanna
        Amen to that! In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com, tmdenmark wrote: I have a bit of a different experience. I m a carmel colored, green-eyed
        Message 3 of 12 , Aug 5, 2008
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          Amen to that!



          In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
          "tmdenmark" <tmdenmark@...> wrote:


          I have a bit of a different experience.
          I'm a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM
          (African, Irish, German, English) that has
          had a lifetime of weird (sometimes derogatory)
          comments made toward me over the years.

          Now that I'm darn near 40 years old, some of
          them make me laugh and some of them still make
          me just shake my head in awe at ignorance:

          "Me and you would make cute babies ...with those green eyes."
          "Your dirty. Your skin is dirty." (From a 7 year old white child)
          "Now...you're Cuban, right?"
          "You're different from other Black people."
          "If you marry a a light skinned man, you'll have really cute babies."
          "Don't marry a Black man...your kids will have nappy hair."

          I'm the youngest of 7 and until I went
          to Kindergarden, I was pretty isolated.
          I didn't see anyone but my immediate family until then,
          so it was normal for me to see skin color every
          shade of brown and eye color from beige to blue.
          When I went to kindergarden, I remember coming home to report
          to my mother that "White people aren't white...they're peach!"
          My Mother chuckled and said, "Baby, if you
          want to call them peach, you call them peach."

          During that same age, I girl came to me and asked,
          "Are you mixed?"
          I had NO idea what she meant. No one had ever
          asked that and I'd never heard that phrase before.
          I asked her, "What does that mean?"
          She matter-of-factly said,
          "Yo Momma or Daddy must be white."
          When I said, "No they're not."
          I don't think she quite believed me.

          I can recall as a child, adults fussing over me,
          my skin color, my eye color, my hair, telling
          me they wanted me to be their son's wife.
          I never understood it until I got older.
          To some Black people, I was a "prize", to other's a threat.
          One of my best friend's, friends said to me,
          point blank..."I never liked light skinned sista's
          ...because they always took the Black men!"
          I was like, "Whaa...??" I wanted to say,
          "Don't blame my skin tone for your inadequacies
          or lack of personality."...but I DIDN'T SAY IT!
          Although I wanted to.

          I recall being in a diversity training class 2 years ago.
          Each ethnicity was asked to present themselves.
          It was then that I realized I was the
          only person there of African descent.
          My training colleagues were shocked when the first statement
          I made was, "Not all brown people are of African descent."
          I heard gasps, I heard hushed tones of "Really.", "Wow." etc.
          When I began to share with them my own heritage,
          I could still see a little "shock" on their faces.
          I was comforted in knowing that I educated
          a few people with a little more knowledge.

          When I began to research my family geneology, I found
          the Irish side. I went to an Irish shop in my city.
          ALL things from Ireland. I thought, "Great!"
          When I went into the shop, the shop keeper greated me with nicely.
          When I began to inquire about my ancestry name, our coat of
          arms, the tartan...she seemed to get more and more irritated.
          I wasn't sure if it was because of my
          questions or me, so I just left the shop.
          My biggest disappointment is having a heritage
          I don't feel comfortable celebrating.
          Black people don't believe me ... and the Irish don't receive me.

          So...I'm content enough in who God created me to be
          that the small people and small minds don't bother me. :-D



          In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
          Micah <micahusa@> wrote:


          Hi everybody! I'm Micah

          I wanted to ask some questions.

          How are you viewed by monoracials?

          How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a mix of
          Black and White, how do they react to you when they discover your
          background? Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel that you
          are treated with indifference?

          As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European. Some
          people get confused, because they don't know my background. Most
          people can usually tell what I am, and most just assume full
          Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly. They say, "Oh yeah, you do
          look like whatever The Rock is." LOL. I've had a lot of Asians ask
          if I were mixed with Asian and they were very accepting, but they
          were the younger ones. What I find weird is how some of the older
          Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly
          let me know that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in
          this Korean market the other day buying black bean paste to make
          Jjajang myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping
          didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun",
          lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring
          like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

          Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
          staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

          The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
          Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like, "You
          are a handsome young man". He would also ask where I was from almost
          every single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol. But he
          was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls me aside
          and says "You’re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese,
          aren’t you?" I told him my background, then from that day on he told
          me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty
          shocked at his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the
          same time.

          He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
          needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know. Later on, he
          even went on to say that he was going to arrange a marriage for me
          to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was okay for me to "date"
          others, but not to marry or have kids with anyone other than an
          Asian, LOL.

          Also that are babies would be beautiful. Don't get me wrong, he is
          an awesome guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views
          and opinions. I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe
          in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

          Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year, about who I should
          marry. I'm not sure why, lol. She told me that I should marry either
          a Polynesian or Asian and never an American (white or black). I am
          guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

          That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
          perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else could
          say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

          I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!
          Hope no one was offended by my email.

          Ciao!

          Micah
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