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Re: [Generation-Mixed] Re: How are you treated or viewed by monoracials?

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  • Micah
    Hi Kim! Thanks for your reply! I ve been a lurker on this group as well, lol. I do apologize if anything that I wrote offended you. I do agree that just about
    Message 1 of 12 , Jul 5 4:47 PM
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      Hi Kim!


      Thanks for your reply!

      I've been a lurker on this group as well, lol.

      I do apologize if anything that I wrote offended you.
      I do agree that just about everybody in the U.S. is mixed", but
      they all don't choose to "acknowledge" or even "accept" that fact.
      They may not even know what their mixed ancestry is.
      That's the reason why I used the word "monoracial".
      It was out of respect. Even though you can clearly see someone
      is "mixed" they may only choose to identify as "monoracial".
      I do agree with you that race is just an artifice,
      but unfortunately, that's how it is in America, LOL.
      It seems like the majority are consumed with race and
      want to put you in this neat little box. A, B, or C.
      Whether we choose to believe that or not, we are all judged
      by our outward appearance first and then the rest follows.
      It's sad though, because it shouldn't be that way.
      I think that, we as a people, have a long way to go, when
      it comes to just "being". You know what I mean? That's
      what my experiences, and what I see around me tell me.
      I am multiracial, like you, but I don't self identify
      as "Black" only, because that's not who I am. No offense,
      because I still respect anyone who does. I was also raised
      with a mixed culture and didn't grow up with mainly one culture,
      or felt that I had to choose. I just felt a connection to many.
      And as a kid, life sorta taught me to "get in, where u fit in" LOL.
      Bad thing, is that most of my childhood friends were not black.
      I actually caught a lot of grief in school. You could clearly look at
      me and tell that I have "African" ancestry, and I'm proud of it, but
      it seemed like it was people's jobs to point out the differences. Or
      what they felt, made me different and not like them. I was harrassed
      and called so many names it's not even funny, LOL But yeah, now
      I can laugh about it, because kids will be kids. C'est La Vie!

      I actually had the chance to grow up in different places.
      I grew up in South Florida, Hawaii, New York, and
      in Michigan. Yeah, I know that's a lot of places.

      Do you have any kids?
      What would you tell them to call themselves or identify as?
      I hate to ask that question, but you know they will get the questions.
      An episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, actually prompted that question.
      Do you believe in African ancetry testing to trace back your roots?
      Thanks again for your reply!

      Micah

      P.S. I think your husband has a good point there!



      ----- Original Message ----


      From: K Major Delaney <kimajor@...>
      To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Friday, July 4, 2008 5:31:22 AM
      Subject: [Generation-Mixed]
      Re: How are you treated or viewed by monoracials?


      Hi Micah -


      I've been pretty much a lurker on this group but I
      *do* read the messages here. I am not sure how to
      answer your question even though I am multiracial.

      I *do* self-identify as black color but I don't mind how
      my other multiracial friends identify themselves.
      YES, I have had silly questions asked of my
      "nationality" especially if I am around hispanic friends
      and I am heard speaking Spanish from time to time.

      But your question about "monoracials" concerned me.
      Why?
      Because just about everybody in the U.S. is "mixed" but they
      just haven't dug in their family tree enough to find out! LOL

      But seriously, especially with African-Americans color, I think
      there are few who are not mixed with other ethnic groups.
      And anyway, isn't race just an artifice?

      I did not grow up in an isolated area - I grew up in San Diego,
      California where there are a lot of multiracial people, I think
      primarily from the large Navy and Marine families who married
      people from different places and since I am a military brat
      or was , most of my friends were mixed.

      Where did you have the chance to grow up?

      - Kim

      P.S.

      My white husband says that those who tell you to
      marry someone of a specific ethnic group or race
      are just exhibiting their own bigotry...


      ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

      http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Generation -Mixed/message/ 3331

      ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **


      Micah asked:

      Hi everybody! I'm Micah
       
      I wanted to ask some questions.
       
      How are you viewed by monoracials? 
       
      How to you feel others view you?
      For example, if you are a mix of Black and White, how
      do they react to you when they discover your background?
      Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel
      that you are treated with indifference?
       
      As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European.
      Some people get confused, because they don't know my background.
      Most people can usually tell what I am, and most just
      assume full olynesian, so they treat me accordingly.
      They say, "Oh yeah, you do look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.
      I've had a lot of Asians ask if I were mixed with Asian and
      they were very accepting, but they were the younger ones.
      What I find weird is how some of the older Asians act
      towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that
      clearly let me know that they are baffled, lol.
      Especially when I was in this
      Korean market the other day buying black bean
      paste to make Jjajang myun (black bean noodles).
      The older man who was helping didn't seem phased
      at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun", lol.
      He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring
      like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!
      Well all know what they are probably thinking while
      they are staring. The age old question, "What is he?".
       
      The same thing happened at my old job.
      There was an older (70's) Asian guy there who would just
      stare and make comments like, "You are a handsome young man".
      He would also ask where I was from almost every
      single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol.
      But he was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls
      me aside and says "You¢re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or
      Chinese, aren¡t you?" I told him my background, then from that
      day on he told me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person.
      I was pretty shocked at his bluntness, but
      respected his honest opinion at the same time.
      He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
      needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know. 
      Later on, he even went on to say that he was going
      to arrange a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol.
      He said that it was okay for me to "date" others, but not
      to marry or have kids with anyone other than an Asian, LOL.
      Also that are babies would be beautiful. 
      Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome guy, but is just
      blunt and to the point with his views and opinions.
      I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe
      in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.
      Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year,
      about who I should marry. I'm not sure why, lol.
      She told me that I should marry either a Polynesian
      or Asian and never an American (white or black).
      I am guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?
       
      That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
      perception of you is not going to be the same.
      Someone else could say that I should
      only marry a Black person, etc etc.
       
      I¢m curious to know about your experiences!
      Thanks for reading!
      Hope no one was offended by my email. 
       
      Ciao!
       
      Micah


    • Micah
      Thanks Rosanna!   I used that term out of respect .  You ve pretty much hit the nail on the head, for what I was trying to convey!  :)   Thanks!   Micah
      Message 2 of 12 , Jul 5 5:06 PM
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        Thanks Rosanna!

        I used that term out of "respect".

        You've pretty much hit the nail on the
        head, for what I was trying to convey!  :)

        Thanks!

        Micah



        ----- Original Message ----


        From: Rosanna <rosanna_armendariz@...>
        To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
        Sent: Saturday, July 5, 2008 12:46:03 AM
        Subject: [Generation-Mixed]
        Re: How are you treated or viewed by monoracials?



        Well, we're all entitled to our experiences and
        opinions; however, personally I don't see any
        reason to be troubled by Micah's question.
        While I agree w/you that most Americans are mixed to some
        extent (and often point this fact out myself), I think terms
        like "monoracial" can be useful for practical reasons that
        allow us to have a discussion about the topic. If we are
        prohibited from using terms like monoracial or multiracial, it
        really becomes difficult to talk about issues related to identity.
        Furthermore, although most of us are mixed to some extent, I tend
        to think that someone w/parents and/or grandparents of different
        "races" has a different experience in society than someone who
        has a vague idea that he may possibly have a great great great
        grandparent of some different "race" or ethnicity. I would consider
        the latter individual to be monoracial, for all practical purposes.
        And having said all that, I completely agree that race is an
        "artiface," or a social construct. However, that doesn't mean
        we shouldn't talk about it. I think that talking about it in the
        short term is the only way to get rid of it in the long run.


        "K Major Delaney" <kimajor@... > wrote:


        Hi Micah -

        I've been pretty much a lurker on this group but I
        *do* read the messages here. I am not sure how to
        answer your question even though I am multiracial.

        I *do* self-identify as black color but I don't mind how my other
        multiracial friends identify themselves. YES, I have had silly
        questions asked of my "nationality" especially if I am around
        hispanic friends and I am heard speaking Spanish from time to time.

        But your question about "monoracials" concerned me. Why?
        Because just about everybody in the U.S. is "mixed" but they
        just haven't dug in their family tree enough to find out! LOL
        But seriously, especially with African-Americans, color I think
        there are few who are not mixed with other ethnic groups.
        And anyway, isn't race just an artifice?

        I did not grow up in an isolated area - I grew up in San Diego,
        California where there are a lot of multiracial people, I think
        primarily from the large Navy and Marine families who married
        people from different places and since I am a military brat
        or was <evil grin>, most of my friends were mixed.

        Where did you have the chance to grow up?
        - Kim

        P.S. My white husband says that those who tell you
        to marry someone of a specific ethnic group or
        race are just exhibiting their own bigotry...

        ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

        http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Generation -Mixed/message/ 3331

        ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **


        Micah asked:


        Hi everybody! I'm Micah

        I wanted to ask some questions.

        How are you viewed by monoracials?

        How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a
        mix of Black and White, how do they react to you when they
        discover your background? Do you feel accepted, rejected,
        or do you feel that you are treated with indifference?

        As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European.
        Some people get confused, because they don't know my background.
        Most people can usually tell what I am, and most just
        assume full Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly.
        They say, "Oh yeah, you do look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.
        I've had a lot of Asians ask if I were mixed with Asian and
        they were very accepting, but they were the younger ones.
        What I find weird is how some of the older Asians act towards
        me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly let me know
        that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in this Korean
        market the other day buying black bean paste to make Jjajang
        myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping
        didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang
        myun", lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started
        staring like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

        Well all know what they are probably thinking while
        they are staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

        The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
        Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like,
        "You are a handsome young man". He would also ask where
        I was from almost every single day, but I always replied with
        "Florida", lol. But he was curious so, instead of just staring
        everyday, he pulls me aside and says "You¢re mixed with
        either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese, aren¡t you?" I told him
        my background, then from that day on he told me to never
        marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty shocked at
        his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the same time.

        He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that
        I needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know.
        Later on, he even went on to say that he was going to arrange
        a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was
        okay for me to "date" others, but not to marry or have kids
        with anyone other than an Asian, LOL. Also that are babies
        would be beautiful. Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome
        guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views and opinions.
        I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe in pureness
        of race, so he really surprised me. Even my aunt had a sit down
        with me, last year, about who I should marry. I'm not sure why,
        lol. She told me that I should marry eithera Polynesian or
        Asian and never an American (white or black). I am guessing
        that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

        That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
        perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else
        could say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

        I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!

        Hope no one was offended by my email.

        Ciao!

        Micah

      • spirit_shurtugal
        Just wanted to say your husband is a wise man. Jenn K Major Delaney wrote: Hi Micah - I ve been pretty much a lurker on this group but I *do*
        Message 3 of 12 , Jul 6 7:13 PM
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          Just wanted to say your husband is a wise man.

          Jenn



          "K Major Delaney" <kimajor@...> wrote:


          Hi Micah -

          I've been pretty much a lurker on this
          group but I *do* read the messages here.
          I am not sure how to answer your
          question even though I am multiracial.

          I *do* self-identify as black but I don't mind how
          my other multiracial friends identify themselves.
          YES, I have had silly questions asked of my
          "nationality" especially if I am around hispanic
          friends and I am heard speaking Spanish from time to time.

          But your question about "monoracials" concerned me.
          Why?
          Because just about everybody in the U.S. is "mixed" but they
          just haven't dug in their family tree enough to find out! LOL

          But seriously, especially with African-Americans, I think
          there are few who are not mixed with other ethnic groups.
          And anyway, isn't race just an artifice?

          I did not grow up in an isolated area - I grew up in San Diego,
          California where there are a lot of multiracial people, I think
          primarily from the large Navy and Marine families who married
          people from different places and since I am a military
          brat or was <evil grin>, most of my friends were mixed.

          Where did you have the chance to grow up?

          - Kim

          P.S.

          My white husband says that those who tell you
          to marry someone of a specific ethnic group or
          race are just exhibiting their own bigotry...


          ***********************************************************


          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/3331


          ***********************************************************



          Micah asked:



          Hi everybody! I'm Micah

          I wanted to ask some questions.

          How are you viewed by monoracials?

          How to you feel others view you?
          For example, if you are a mix of Black and White, how
          do they react to you when they discover your background?
          Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you
          feel that you are treated with indifference?

          As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European.
          Some people get confused, because they don't know my background.
          Most people can usually tell what I am, and most just
          assume full Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly.
          They say, "Oh yeah, you do look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.
          I've had a lot of Asians ask if I were mixed with Asian and
          they were very accepting, but they were the younger ones.
          What I find weird is how some of the older
          Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares,
          that clearly let me know that they are baffled, lol.
          Especially when I was in this Korean market the other day buying
          black bean paste to make Jjajang myun (black bean noodles).
          The older man who was helping didn't seem phased
          at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun", lol.
          He just said, Oh okay!"
          But then he just started staring like he was
          trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

          Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
          staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

          The same thing happened at my old job.
          There was an older (70's) Asian guy there who would just
          stare and make comments like, "You are a handsome young man".
          He would also ask where I was from almost every
          single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol.
          But he was curious so, instead of just staring everyday,
          he pulls me aside and says "You¢re mixed with
          either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese, aren¡t you?"
          I told him my background, then from that day on he told
          me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person.
          I was pretty shocked at his bluntness, but
          respected his honest opinion at the same time.

          He said that he could tell that my roots were
          Asian and that I needed to marry an Asian person.
          How?....I don't know.
          Later on, he even went on to say that he was going
          to arrange a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol.
          He said that it was okay for me to "date" others, but not
          to marry or have kids with anyone other than an Asian, LOL.
          Also that are babies would be beautiful.
          Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome guy, but is just
          blunt and to the point with his views and opinions.
          I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe
          in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

          Even my aunt had a sit down with me,
          last year, about who I should marry.
          I'm not sure why, lol.
          She told me that I should marry either a Polynesian
          or Asian and never an American (white or black).
          I am guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

          That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but
          everybody¢s perception of you is not going to be the same.
          Someone else could say that I should
          only marry a Black person, etc etc.

          I¢m curious to know about your experiences!
          Thanks for reading!
          Hope no one was offended by my email.

          Ciao!

          Micah
        • K Major Delaney
          Hey, Micah....I wasn t offended in the least so it s OK. That is what discussion is all about, right? LOL BTW, you asked if I have children. Unfortunately, I
          Message 4 of 12 , Jul 7 6:42 AM
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            Hey, Micah....I wasn't offended in the least so it's OK.
            That is what discussion is all about, right? LOL

            BTW, you asked if I have children. Unfortunately, I do not.
            I do, however, have two nephews who are part Filipino
            and my sister raises them along with their father to
            know everything about their roots and let's them decide
            how they want to define themselves which I agree with.

            One is drawn more to "hapas" like himself and the other
            embraces more of the African-American color
            side. Go figure!
            Even between me and my four younger middle-aged sisters,
            we gravitate to friends from different ethnic backgrounds.
            A lot of my friends are now white ethnics
            - guess that is because of living in Oregon - but
            in California, my friend pool was quite multiracial.

            And about tracing my African ancestry through DNA?
            I have been curious but as I understand,
            those tests can be prohibitively expensive.
            Plus, I don't know how much African blood they'd really find.

            Thanks for asking.....Kim



            **************************************


            Micah wrote:

            Hi Kim!

            Thanks for your reply!

            I've been a lurker on this group as well, lol.

            I do apologize if anything that I wrote offended you.
            I do agree that just about everybody in the U.S. is mixed", but
            they all don't choose to "acknowledge" or even "accept" that fact.
            They may not even know what their mixed ancestry is.
            That's the reason why I used the word "monoracial".
            It was out of respect.
            Even though you can clearly see someone is "mixed"
            they may only choose to identify as "monoracial".
            I do agree with you that race is just an artifice,
            but unfortunately, that's how it is in America, LOL.
            It seems like the majority are consumed with race and
            want to put you in this neat little box. A, B, or C.
            Whether we choose to believe that or not, we are all judged
            by our outward appearance first and then the rest follows.
            It's sad though, because it shouldn't be that way.
            I think that, we as a people, have a long
            way to go, when it comes to just "being".
            You know what I mean?
            That's what my experiences, and what I see around me tell me.

            I am multiracial, like you, but I don't self identify
            as "Black" only, because that's not who I am.
            No offense, because I still respect anyone who does.
            I was also raised with a mixed culture and didn't grow
            up with mainly one culture, or felt that I had to choose.
            I just felt a connection to many.
            And as a kid, life sorta taught me to "get in, where u fit in" LOL.
            Bad thing, is that most of my childhood friends were not black.
            I actually caught a lot of grief in school.
            You could clearly look at me and tell that I have
            "African" ancestry, and I'm proud of it, but it seemed
            like it was people's jobs to point out the differences.
            Or what they felt, made me different and not like them.
            I was harrassed and called so many names it's not even funny,
            LOL But yeah, now I can laugh about it, because kids will be kids.
            C'est La Vie!

            I actually had the chance to grow up in different places.
            I grew up in South Florida, Hawaii, New York, and in Michigan.
            Yeah, I know that's a lot of places.

            Do you have any kids?
            What would you tell them to call themselves or identify as?
            I hate to ask that question, but you know they will get the questions.
            An episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, actually prompted that question.

            Do you believe in African ancetry testing to trace back you roots?
            Thanks again for your reply!

            Micah

            P.S. I think your husband has a good point there!
          • tmdenmark
            I have a bit of a different experience. I m a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM (African, Irish, German, English) that has had a lifetime of weird (sometimes
            Message 5 of 12 , Aug 4, 2008
            • 0 Attachment
              I have a bit of a different experience. I'm a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM (African, Irish, German, English) that has had a lifetime of weird (sometimes derogatory) comments made toward me over the years.

              Now that I'm darn near 40 years old, some of them make me laugh and
              some of them still make me just shake my head in awe at ignorance:

              "Me and you would make cute babies...with those green eyes."
              "Your dirty. Your skin is dirty." (From a 7 year old white child)
              "Now...you're Cuban, right?"
              "You're different from other Black people."
              "If you marry a a light skinned man, you'll have really cute babies."
              "Don't marry a Black man...your kids will have nappy hair."

              I'm the youngest of 7 and until I went to Kindergarden, I was pretty
              isolated. I didn't see anyone but my immediate family until then, so it was normal for me to see skin color every shade of brown and eye color from beige to blue. When I went to kindergarden, I remember coming home to report to my mother that "White people aren't white...they're peach!" My Mother chuckled and said, "Baby, if you want to call them peach, you call them peach."

              During that same age, I girl came to me and asked, "Are you mixed?"
              I had NO idea what she meant. No one had ever asked that and I'd
              never heard that phrase before. I asked her, "What does that mean?" she matter-of-factly said, "Yo Momma or Daddy must be white." when I said, "No they're not." I don't think she quite believed me.

              I can recall as a child, adults fussing over me, my skin color, my
              eye color, my hair, telling me they wanted me to be their son's
              wife. I never understood it until I got older. To some Black
              people, I was a "prize", to other's a threat. One of my best
              friend's, friends said to me, point blank..."I never liked light
              skinned sista's...because they always took the Black men!" I was
              like, "Whaa...??" I wanted to say, "Don't blame my skin tone for
              your inadequacies or lack of personality."...but I DIDN'T SAY IT!
              Although I wanted to.

              I recall being in a diversity training class 2 years ago. Each ethnicity was asked to present themselves. It was then that I
              realized I was the only person there of African descent. My training colleagues were shocked when the first statement I made was, "Not all brown people are of African descent." I heard gasps, I heard hushed tones of "Really.", "Wow." etc. When I began to share with them my own heritage, I could still see a little "shock" on their faces. I was comforted in knowing that I educated a few people with a little more knowledge.

              When I began to research my family geneology, I found the Irish
              side. I went to an Irish shop in my city. ALL things from Ireland.
              I thought, "Great!" When I went into the shop, the shop keeper
              greated me with nicely. When I began to inquire about my ancestry
              name, our coat of arms, the tartan...she seemed to get more and more
              irritated. I wasn't sure if it was because of my questions or me, so I just left the shop. My biggest disappointment is having a heritage I don't feel comfortable celebrating. Black people don't believe me ... and the Irish don't receive me. So...I'm content enough in who God created me to be that the small people and small minds don't bother me. :-D



              In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
              Micah <micahusa@...> wrote:


              Hi everybody! I'm Micah

              I wanted to ask some questions.

              How are you viewed by monoracials? 

              How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a mix of
              Black and White, how do they react to you when they discover your
              background? Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel that you
              are treated with indifference?

              As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European. Some
              people get confused, because they don't know my background. Most
              people can usually tell what I am, and most just assume full
              Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly. They say, "Oh yeah, you do
              look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.  I've had a lot of Asians ask
              if I were mixed with Asian and they were very accepting, but they
              were the younger ones. What I find weird is how some of the older
              Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly
              let me know that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in this Korean market the other day buying black bean paste to make Jjajang myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun", lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

              Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
              staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

              The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
              Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like, "You are a handsome young man". He would also ask where I was from almost
              every single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol. But he
              was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls me aside
              and says "You¢re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese,
              aren¡t you?" I told him my background, then from that day on he told
              me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty
              shocked at his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the
              same time.

              He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
              needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know.  Later on, he
              even went on to say that he was going to arrange a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was okay for me to "date" others, but not to marry or have kids with anyone other than an Asian, LOL.
              Also that are babies would be beautiful.  Don't get me wrong, he is
              an awesome guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views and opinions. I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

              Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year, about who I should
              marry. I'm not sure why, lol. She told me that I should marry either
              a Polynesian or Asian and never an American (white or black). I am
              guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

              That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
              perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else could say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

              I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!
              Hope no one was offended by my email. 

              Ciao!

              Micah
            • Rosanna
              Amen to that! In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com, tmdenmark wrote: I have a bit of a different experience. I m a carmel colored, green-eyed
              Message 6 of 12 , Aug 5, 2008
              • 0 Attachment
                Amen to that!



                In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
                "tmdenmark" <tmdenmark@...> wrote:


                I have a bit of a different experience.
                I'm a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM
                (African, Irish, German, English) that has
                had a lifetime of weird (sometimes derogatory)
                comments made toward me over the years.

                Now that I'm darn near 40 years old, some of
                them make me laugh and some of them still make
                me just shake my head in awe at ignorance:

                "Me and you would make cute babies ...with those green eyes."
                "Your dirty. Your skin is dirty." (From a 7 year old white child)
                "Now...you're Cuban, right?"
                "You're different from other Black people."
                "If you marry a a light skinned man, you'll have really cute babies."
                "Don't marry a Black man...your kids will have nappy hair."

                I'm the youngest of 7 and until I went
                to Kindergarden, I was pretty isolated.
                I didn't see anyone but my immediate family until then,
                so it was normal for me to see skin color every
                shade of brown and eye color from beige to blue.
                When I went to kindergarden, I remember coming home to report
                to my mother that "White people aren't white...they're peach!"
                My Mother chuckled and said, "Baby, if you
                want to call them peach, you call them peach."

                During that same age, I girl came to me and asked,
                "Are you mixed?"
                I had NO idea what she meant. No one had ever
                asked that and I'd never heard that phrase before.
                I asked her, "What does that mean?"
                She matter-of-factly said,
                "Yo Momma or Daddy must be white."
                When I said, "No they're not."
                I don't think she quite believed me.

                I can recall as a child, adults fussing over me,
                my skin color, my eye color, my hair, telling
                me they wanted me to be their son's wife.
                I never understood it until I got older.
                To some Black people, I was a "prize", to other's a threat.
                One of my best friend's, friends said to me,
                point blank..."I never liked light skinned sista's
                ...because they always took the Black men!"
                I was like, "Whaa...??" I wanted to say,
                "Don't blame my skin tone for your inadequacies
                or lack of personality."...but I DIDN'T SAY IT!
                Although I wanted to.

                I recall being in a diversity training class 2 years ago.
                Each ethnicity was asked to present themselves.
                It was then that I realized I was the
                only person there of African descent.
                My training colleagues were shocked when the first statement
                I made was, "Not all brown people are of African descent."
                I heard gasps, I heard hushed tones of "Really.", "Wow." etc.
                When I began to share with them my own heritage,
                I could still see a little "shock" on their faces.
                I was comforted in knowing that I educated
                a few people with a little more knowledge.

                When I began to research my family geneology, I found
                the Irish side. I went to an Irish shop in my city.
                ALL things from Ireland. I thought, "Great!"
                When I went into the shop, the shop keeper greated me with nicely.
                When I began to inquire about my ancestry name, our coat of
                arms, the tartan...she seemed to get more and more irritated.
                I wasn't sure if it was because of my
                questions or me, so I just left the shop.
                My biggest disappointment is having a heritage
                I don't feel comfortable celebrating.
                Black people don't believe me ... and the Irish don't receive me.

                So...I'm content enough in who God created me to be
                that the small people and small minds don't bother me. :-D



                In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
                Micah <micahusa@> wrote:


                Hi everybody! I'm Micah

                I wanted to ask some questions.

                How are you viewed by monoracials?

                How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a mix of
                Black and White, how do they react to you when they discover your
                background? Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel that you
                are treated with indifference?

                As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European. Some
                people get confused, because they don't know my background. Most
                people can usually tell what I am, and most just assume full
                Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly. They say, "Oh yeah, you do
                look like whatever The Rock is." LOL. I've had a lot of Asians ask
                if I were mixed with Asian and they were very accepting, but they
                were the younger ones. What I find weird is how some of the older
                Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly
                let me know that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in
                this Korean market the other day buying black bean paste to make
                Jjajang myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping
                didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun",
                lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring
                like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

                Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
                staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

                The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
                Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like, "You
                are a handsome young man". He would also ask where I was from almost
                every single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol. But he
                was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls me aside
                and says "You’re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese,
                aren’t you?" I told him my background, then from that day on he told
                me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty
                shocked at his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the
                same time.

                He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
                needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know. Later on, he
                even went on to say that he was going to arrange a marriage for me
                to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was okay for me to "date"
                others, but not to marry or have kids with anyone other than an
                Asian, LOL.

                Also that are babies would be beautiful. Don't get me wrong, he is
                an awesome guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views
                and opinions. I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe
                in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

                Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year, about who I should
                marry. I'm not sure why, lol. She told me that I should marry either
                a Polynesian or Asian and never an American (white or black). I am
                guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

                That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
                perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else could
                say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

                I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!
                Hope no one was offended by my email.

                Ciao!

                Micah
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