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Re: What would u do?

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  • mulatta_loca
    Jamie, how awful. It s very unfortunate that in this day and age, we till have to put up with such offensive comments in the workplace. I agree with Wendy.
    Message 1 of 14 , Sep 14, 2007
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      Jamie, how awful. It's very unfortunate that
      in this day and age, we till have to put up
      with such offensive comments in the workplace.
      I agree with Wendy. You should attempt some sort of
      honest, yet diplomatic conversation where you let
      this person know that her comments are inappropriate.
      Of course you don't want to lose your job, but if your
      boss did fire you after such a conversation, I think
      you would have a clear-cut discrimination case and
      would be totally justified in contacting a lawyer.



      In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
      Wendy Arimah <trinidadsvoice@...> wrote:


      Jamie,

      Can you have an honest talk with your boss and let her
      know that these questions/comments make you uncomfortable?
      Also, I would suggest stating that your son IS part-black
      so he may 'look black' and that you don't want to hide it.
      Some people don't realize that certain
      comments are offensive, insulting and hurtful.
      There's a woman that I work with who used to comment
      almost every day about my face, clothes, hair or shoes.
      One day after scanning my outfit thoroughly she said
      'That must be new, cuz, I've never seen it before!'
      I calmly asked 'Are you taking inventory of my closet?'
      On a few occasions she's made it her business
      to tell me something negative about my hair.
      'What's wrong with your hair today?!'
      'You should cut this part.'
      She is a woman an overweight woman, if I were to
      comment about her weight, that would be insensitive.
      I don't talk about my personal business with her,
      when she strays from the business topic to 'bash'
      my person, I bring her back on track with comments like
      'Ok, that's not related to what we're talking about.'

      Good luck.

      btw:

      you're son is very cute and
      looks very happy with who he is.



      jamie091904 <jamie091904@...> wrote:



      My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
      head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
      She goes on to say that I should consider doing
      this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

      She is always asking me questions like will his skin
      get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
      She's my boss and I can't afford to
      tell her off because I'll be jobless.

      He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
      tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
      he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

      Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
      But I don't really care.

      How would u handle this situation?

      http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/jamie091904/?action=view¤t=Picture797.jpg
    • mulatta_loca
      Oh, and P.S., I just clicked on the link of your son s photo and realized you re one of my friends on myspace! (My screenname over there is mulatta loca.) And
      Message 2 of 14 , Sep 14, 2007
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        Oh, and P.S., I just clicked on the
        link of your son's photo and realized
        you're one of my friends on myspace!
        (My screenname over there is mulatta loca.)
        And I agree w/everyone's comments --
        your son is a cutie pie :)


        In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com, "jamie091904"
        <jamie091904@...> wrote:


        My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
        head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
        She goes on to say that I should consider doing
        this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

        She is always asking me questions like will his skin
        get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
        She's my boss and I can't afford to
        tell her off because I'll be jobless.

        He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
        tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
        he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

        Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
        But I don't really care.

        How would u handle this situation?

        http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/jamie091904/?action=view¤t=Picture797.jpg
      • Rommel Santos
        Jamie: I think you know that it is really not the business of your boss telling you how to bring up your son. For now, maybe, you could play along with her.
        Message 3 of 14 , Sep 15, 2007
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          Jamie:
          I think you know that it is really not the business
          of your boss telling you how to bring up your son.
          For now, maybe, you could play along with her.
          Perhaps, in due time, you could politely tell her that
          the race of your son matters little to you and that
          your boss really should not give her unsolicited
          advice - delivery of the message really counts
          a lot, since you know you want to keep your job.
          RCS



          jamie091904 <jamie091904@...> wrote:
          My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
          head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
          She goes on to say that I should consider doing
          this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

          She is always asking me questions like will his skin
          get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
          She's my boss and I can't afford to
          tell her off because I'll be jobless.

          He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
          tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
          he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

          Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
          But I don't really care.

          How would u handle this situation?

          http://s196. photobucket. com/albums/ aa271/jamie09190 4/?action= view&current= Picture797. jpg


        • wintyreeve@aol.com
          Hello Friends, [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending on how long they re out in the sun. And after they change up from the different shades of red they
          Message 4 of 14 , Sep 17, 2007
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            Hello Friends,

            [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
            on how long they're out in the sun.
            And after they change up from the different shades
            of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol]]

            I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
            a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
            about their race, and trying to make people
            happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

            And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
            and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
            you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

            This ' woman really made me mad today...
            I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
            The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
            who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
            I had to get up and move seats
            (not worth starting something in front of your child).
            Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
            something else--what was she going to do?

            I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
            do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

            I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
            what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

            And I am happy with who I am.

            Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
             





          • Jamie Hook
            I thought I d give u guys an update on the situation. I confronted my boss about everything and told her if it didn t stop I d go to her boss. She says to go
            Message 5 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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              I thought I'd give u guys an update on the situation.
              I confronted my boss about everything and
              told her if it didn't stop I'd go to her boss.
              She says to go right ahead that she can't
              get in trouble for expressing her feelings.



              From: "wintyreeve@..." <wintyreeve@...>
              To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
              Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:18:34 AM
              Subject: Re: What would u do?

              Hello Friends,

              [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
              on how long they're out in the sun.
              And after they change up from the different shades
              of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]

              I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
              a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
              about their race, and trying to make people
              happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

              And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
              and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
              you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

              This ' woman really made me mad today...
              I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
              The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
              who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
              I had to get up and move seats
              (not worth starting something in front of your child).
              Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
              something else--what was she going to do?

              I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
              do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

              I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
              what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

              And I am happy with who I am.

              Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
            • mulatta_loca
              Good for you. Contrary to what your boss may think, her feelings are racist, and you are not obligated to listen to these views in the workplace. Stick to
              Message 6 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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                Good for you. Contrary to what your boss may think, her "feelings"
                are racist, and you are not obligated to listen to these views in
                the workplace. Stick to your guns. You're totally in the right.


                In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
                Jamie Hook <jamie091904@...> wrote:

                I thought I'd give u guys an update on the situation.
                I confronted my boss about everything and
                told her if it didn't stop I'd go to her boss.
                She says to go right ahead that she can't
                get in trouble for expressing her feelings.


                From: "wintyreeve@..." <wintyreeve@...>
                To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:18:34 AM
                Subject: Re: [Generation-Mixed] Re: What would u do?


                Hello Friends,

                [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
                on how long they're out in the sun.
                And after they change up from the different shades
                of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]


                I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
                a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
                about their race, and trying to make people
                happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

                And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
                and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
                you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

                This ' woman really made me mad today...
                I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
                The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
                who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
                I had to get up and move seats
                (not worth starting something in front of your child).
                Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
                something else--what was she going to do?

                I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
                do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

                I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
                what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

                And I am happy with who I am.

                Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
              • pierre jefferson
                I agree with your actions Lynn!...to have this woman ask such questions of your daughter as if you were a book end or furniture sitting along side her. This
                Message 7 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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                  I agree with your actions Lynn!...
                  to have this woman ask such questions of
                  your daughter as if you were a bookend
                  or furniture sitting along side her.

                  This can instill self consciousness into
                  your daughter if allowed to persist,
                  thisis how race awareness begins with
                  other race conscious people infecting the
                  minds of children primarily early in ages.

                  Racism depends on ignorance..fear..hate
                  and inferiority among others to keep
                  its false reality alive and well.

                  May you continue to spot the color scouts
                  who patrol our society daily, and from
                  this gain even greater strength against
                  its rude and cruel behavior patterns.

                  God Bless* You and yours

                  Pierre
                   
                   
                   
                   


                  wintyreeve@... wrote:
                  Hello Friends,

                  [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
                  on how long they're out in the sun.
                  And after they change up from the different shades
                  of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]

                  I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
                  a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
                  about their race, and trying to make people
                  happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

                  And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
                  and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
                  you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

                  This ' woman really made me mad today...
                  I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
                  The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
                  who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
                  I had to get up and move seats
                  (not worth starting something in front of your child).
                  Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
                  something else--what was she going to do?

                  I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
                  do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

                  I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
                  what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

                  And I am happy with who I am.

                  Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
                   






                • wintyreeve@aol.com
                  Dear Jamie, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Your boss is totally wrong for singling you out and making racial remarks. She has not shown any
                  Message 8 of 14 , Sep 20, 2007
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                    Dear Jamie,
                     
                    I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

                    Your boss is totally wrong for singling
                    you out and making racial remarks.
                    She has not shown any remorse, and seems
                    to enjoy creating an environment
                    of control and intimidation.
                    I would do your best to ignore
                    her and stay focused on your job.
                    What you say to her is libel to become
                    a power struggle or create new tensions.
                    She will not listen or care
                    to hear your perspective.

                    You have our support here, and
                    can express yourself freely.

                    NO matter what--you are a good mom,
                    you love your son and you are doing your best
                    to raise him in the ways you feel are right.

                    No one can take that from you.

                    Blessings ~ Lynn




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