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Re: What would u do?

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  • prettycutetk
    I m sorry you had to deal with ignorance like that. You re son is adorable! I would let her know that the things she says is making you uncomfortable and tell
    Message 1 of 14 , Sep 14, 2007
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      I'm sorry you had to deal with ignorance like that.

      You're son is adorable!

      I would let her know that the things she says
      is making you uncomfortable and tell her that
      you will raise your child as he is, Mixed.

      I'm surprized no one else
      has said anything else to her.
      Maybe someone who isn't her employee
      should say something to her.
      I find it hard to believe that no one
      else has heard her ignorance before now.

      Good luck and try to keep your cool!

      Tia


      In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
      "jamie091904" <jamie091904@...> wrote:


      My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
      head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
      She goes on to say that I should consider doing
      this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

      She is always asking me questions like will his skin
      get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
      She's my boss and I can't afford to
      tell her off because I'll be jobless.

      He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
      tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
      he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

      Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
      But I don't really care.

      How would u handle this situation?

      http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/jamie091904/?action=view¤t=Picture797.jpg
    • mulatta_loca
      Jamie, how awful. It s very unfortunate that in this day and age, we till have to put up with such offensive comments in the workplace. I agree with Wendy.
      Message 2 of 14 , Sep 14, 2007
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        Jamie, how awful. It's very unfortunate that
        in this day and age, we till have to put up
        with such offensive comments in the workplace.
        I agree with Wendy. You should attempt some sort of
        honest, yet diplomatic conversation where you let
        this person know that her comments are inappropriate.
        Of course you don't want to lose your job, but if your
        boss did fire you after such a conversation, I think
        you would have a clear-cut discrimination case and
        would be totally justified in contacting a lawyer.



        In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
        Wendy Arimah <trinidadsvoice@...> wrote:


        Jamie,

        Can you have an honest talk with your boss and let her
        know that these questions/comments make you uncomfortable?
        Also, I would suggest stating that your son IS part-black
        so he may 'look black' and that you don't want to hide it.
        Some people don't realize that certain
        comments are offensive, insulting and hurtful.
        There's a woman that I work with who used to comment
        almost every day about my face, clothes, hair or shoes.
        One day after scanning my outfit thoroughly she said
        'That must be new, cuz, I've never seen it before!'
        I calmly asked 'Are you taking inventory of my closet?'
        On a few occasions she's made it her business
        to tell me something negative about my hair.
        'What's wrong with your hair today?!'
        'You should cut this part.'
        She is a woman an overweight woman, if I were to
        comment about her weight, that would be insensitive.
        I don't talk about my personal business with her,
        when she strays from the business topic to 'bash'
        my person, I bring her back on track with comments like
        'Ok, that's not related to what we're talking about.'

        Good luck.

        btw:

        you're son is very cute and
        looks very happy with who he is.



        jamie091904 <jamie091904@...> wrote:



        My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
        head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
        She goes on to say that I should consider doing
        this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

        She is always asking me questions like will his skin
        get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
        She's my boss and I can't afford to
        tell her off because I'll be jobless.

        He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
        tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
        he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

        Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
        But I don't really care.

        How would u handle this situation?

        http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/jamie091904/?action=view¤t=Picture797.jpg
      • mulatta_loca
        Oh, and P.S., I just clicked on the link of your son s photo and realized you re one of my friends on myspace! (My screenname over there is mulatta loca.) And
        Message 3 of 14 , Sep 14, 2007
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          Oh, and P.S., I just clicked on the
          link of your son's photo and realized
          you're one of my friends on myspace!
          (My screenname over there is mulatta loca.)
          And I agree w/everyone's comments --
          your son is a cutie pie :)


          In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com, "jamie091904"
          <jamie091904@...> wrote:


          My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
          head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
          She goes on to say that I should consider doing
          this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

          She is always asking me questions like will his skin
          get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
          She's my boss and I can't afford to
          tell her off because I'll be jobless.

          He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
          tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
          he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

          Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
          But I don't really care.

          How would u handle this situation?

          http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/jamie091904/?action=view¤t=Picture797.jpg
        • Rommel Santos
          Jamie: I think you know that it is really not the business of your boss telling you how to bring up your son. For now, maybe, you could play along with her.
          Message 4 of 14 , Sep 15, 2007
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            Jamie:
            I think you know that it is really not the business
            of your boss telling you how to bring up your son.
            For now, maybe, you could play along with her.
            Perhaps, in due time, you could politely tell her that
            the race of your son matters little to you and that
            your boss really should not give her unsolicited
            advice - delivery of the message really counts
            a lot, since you know you want to keep your job.
            RCS



            jamie091904 <jamie091904@...> wrote:
            My boss at work keeps telling me that if I shaved my son's
            head no one would even be able to tell that he's "black".
            She goes on to say that I should consider doing
            this and raise him as if he was fully-White.

            She is always asking me questions like will his skin
            get darker and asks why he isn't dark now etc.
            She's my boss and I can't afford to
            tell her off because I'll be jobless.

            He is only 3 years old so right now we don't
            tell him that he is or isn't a certain "race"
            he just knows this is mommy and this is daddy.

            Honestly I don't know if he'll get darker etc.
            But I don't really care.

            How would u handle this situation?

            http://s196. photobucket. com/albums/ aa271/jamie09190 4/?action= view&current= Picture797. jpg


          • wintyreeve@aol.com
            Hello Friends, [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending on how long they re out in the sun. And after they change up from the different shades of red they
            Message 5 of 14 , Sep 17, 2007
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              Hello Friends,

              [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
              on how long they're out in the sun.
              And after they change up from the different shades
              of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol]]

              I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
              a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
              about their race, and trying to make people
              happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

              And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
              and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
              you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

              This ' woman really made me mad today...
              I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
              The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
              who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
              I had to get up and move seats
              (not worth starting something in front of your child).
              Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
              something else--what was she going to do?

              I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
              do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

              I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
              what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

              And I am happy with who I am.

              Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
               





            • Jamie Hook
              I thought I d give u guys an update on the situation. I confronted my boss about everything and told her if it didn t stop I d go to her boss. She says to go
              Message 6 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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                I thought I'd give u guys an update on the situation.
                I confronted my boss about everything and
                told her if it didn't stop I'd go to her boss.
                She says to go right ahead that she can't
                get in trouble for expressing her feelings.



                From: "wintyreeve@..." <wintyreeve@...>
                To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:18:34 AM
                Subject: Re: What would u do?

                Hello Friends,

                [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
                on how long they're out in the sun.
                And after they change up from the different shades
                of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]

                I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
                a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
                about their race, and trying to make people
                happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

                And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
                and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
                you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

                This ' woman really made me mad today...
                I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
                The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
                who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
                I had to get up and move seats
                (not worth starting something in front of your child).
                Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
                something else--what was she going to do?

                I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
                do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

                I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
                what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

                And I am happy with who I am.

                Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
              • mulatta_loca
                Good for you. Contrary to what your boss may think, her feelings are racist, and you are not obligated to listen to these views in the workplace. Stick to
                Message 7 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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                  Good for you. Contrary to what your boss may think, her "feelings"
                  are racist, and you are not obligated to listen to these views in
                  the workplace. Stick to your guns. You're totally in the right.


                  In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
                  Jamie Hook <jamie091904@...> wrote:

                  I thought I'd give u guys an update on the situation.
                  I confronted my boss about everything and
                  told her if it didn't stop I'd go to her boss.
                  She says to go right ahead that she can't
                  get in trouble for expressing her feelings.


                  From: "wintyreeve@..." <wintyreeve@...>
                  To: Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com
                  Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:18:34 AM
                  Subject: Re: [Generation-Mixed] Re: What would u do?


                  Hello Friends,

                  [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
                  on how long they're out in the sun.
                  And after they change up from the different shades
                  of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]


                  I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
                  a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
                  about their race, and trying to make people
                  happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

                  And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
                  and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
                  you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

                  This ' woman really made me mad today...
                  I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
                  The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
                  who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
                  I had to get up and move seats
                  (not worth starting something in front of your child).
                  Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
                  something else--what was she going to do?

                  I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
                  do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

                  I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
                  what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

                  And I am happy with who I am.

                  Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
                • pierre jefferson
                  I agree with your actions Lynn!...to have this woman ask such questions of your daughter as if you were a book end or furniture sitting along side her. This
                  Message 8 of 14 , Sep 18, 2007
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                    I agree with your actions Lynn!...
                    to have this woman ask such questions of
                    your daughter as if you were a bookend
                    or furniture sitting along side her.

                    This can instill self consciousness into
                    your daughter if allowed to persist,
                    thisis how race awareness begins with
                    other race conscious people infecting the
                    minds of children primarily early in ages.

                    Racism depends on ignorance..fear..hate
                    and inferiority among others to keep
                    its false reality alive and well.

                    May you continue to spot the color scouts
                    who patrol our society daily, and from
                    this gain even greater strength against
                    its rude and cruel behavior patterns.

                    God Bless* You and yours

                    Pierre
                     
                     
                     
                     


                    wintyreeve@... wrote:
                    Hello Friends,

                    [[RE: And everyone gets darker....depending
                    on how long they're out in the sun.
                    And after they change up from the different shades
                    of red they might turn and the peeling stops...lol] ]

                    I think it's just wrong to take the innocence of
                    a child and try to make them feel self-conscious
                    about their race, and trying to make people
                    happy by appearing or acting a certain way.

                    And why is that being Mixed is equal to being convicted --
                    and somehow people think they have the right to interrogate
                    you or sentance you according to their own ignorance?

                    This ' woman really made me mad today...
                    I was sitting next to my daughter on the bus.
                    The lady has the nerve to ask my daughter--
                    who is only 4 years old--"Is she your mommy?
                    I had to get up and move seats
                    (not worth starting something in front of your child).
                    Seriously, if my daughter said "no" or
                    something else--what was she going to do?

                    I think it comes down to is that ignorant people
                    do not feel comfortable in their own skin.

                    I don't care what color of the rainbow I am or
                    what shade my skin turns...I will still be ME.

                    And I am happy with who I am.

                    Best Wishes to Everyone ~ Lynn
                     






                  • wintyreeve@aol.com
                    Dear Jamie, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Your boss is totally wrong for singling you out and making racial remarks. She has not shown any
                    Message 9 of 14 , Sep 20, 2007
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                      Dear Jamie,
                       
                      I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

                      Your boss is totally wrong for singling
                      you out and making racial remarks.
                      She has not shown any remorse, and seems
                      to enjoy creating an environment
                      of control and intimidation.
                      I would do your best to ignore
                      her and stay focused on your job.
                      What you say to her is libel to become
                      a power struggle or create new tensions.
                      She will not listen or care
                      to hear your perspective.

                      You have our support here, and
                      can express yourself freely.

                      NO matter what--you are a good mom,
                      you love your son and you are doing your best
                      to raise him in the ways you feel are right.

                      No one can take that from you.

                      Blessings ~ Lynn




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