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  • Jamie Hook
    What gets me is how these ignorant people can say things to kids or about kids regarding their skin color. Frequently I am asked stupid questions like is he
    Message 1 of 8 , Jul 31, 2007
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      What gets me is how these ignorant
      people can say things to kids or
      about kids regarding their skin color.

      Frequently I am asked stupid questions
      like is he mexican or will he get darker?
      My son is going on three years old.
      Then I have people who will say stupid
      things like he'll darken up by puberty.
      I sometimes get people who say look at
      the tips of his ears that'll be his color.

      Like I really care.

      There are others who ask him
      where did u get such curly hair just
      wanting me to say his Dad's 'black'.

      I'm still new at this and learning how to deal
      with it I've gotten sick of being nice and
      answering stupid questions or hearing color
      crap from people who don't even know us.

      Any one got some advice for a clueless mom.


      pierre jefferson <pierrejefferson2007@...>wrote



      Yes Lynn i fully understand how your life
      growing up in a color conscious society
      was a personal challenge daily!
      But your unconditional view of skin
      color is sadly still in the minority.
      Our society is so deeply rooted into
      making a 'difference' out of "difference" !
      Its in our literature.. Courts..Music. .
      Racial jokes..even our Churches, ... etc.
      We have made it a central part of our every day living.
      Being of Mixed-Race, people feel that you have
      to choose sides and when you don't choose a
      side, they become angry at you for accepting both.
      Racism can not accept difference!
      Its very nature is to attack the other,
      regardless how good a person the other may be.
      Racism is not new, its been with us for thousands
      of years taking on various forms and keeping
      division between people and even causing
      wars and civil unrest as it still does today.
      Racism is like Religion for most people,
      they need something to worship and
      practice in a ritualistic manner.
      Racism also eases their fears of the unknown while
      giving them a sense of elevation above others who
      they see as less important, or unimportant period.
      Human beings are judmental creatures and need
      to cast this judment in numerous ways to
      feel some how Superior to its enviorment.
      The people like your self who see people
      as people are actually the foundation or
      examples for all humam beings to learn from.
      Racism only lives inside people, for
      there is no prejudice in 'nature' ...
      its only found in 'human nature'.
      Sadly when we have disasters like earth quakes
      or hurricanes then all of a sudden most people
      temporarily drop their prejudice nature,
      they help one another and show compassion
      towards each other during the crisis.
      But this may only last for a few weeks,
      then they slowly pick up their bags of
      prejudice throwing them across their shoulders
      resuming the age old tradition once more.
       
      Pierre



      docilechicken24 <kjoule70@hotmail. com> wrote:



      I'm glad you appreciated what I said. You're welcome.

      There's just one thing I wanted to add.

      I do believe that free will can allow
      us to get past our circumstances.
      But i also think it takes an amazing person
      to make that jump into the new and unknown and
      to go against what has been placed before you,
      in other words, the average person would live
      their lives largely defined by their context.

      Average is average to make the choice
      to not allow others to limit you is
      extraordinary and commendable.
      I don't believe it is fair to
      expect everyone to be extraordinary.
      I believe we should hope for
      that and encourage that, but
      not necessarily expect it.

      Dustin


      wintyreeve@. .. wrote:


      [RE: The context in which we live life has
      everything to do with how our personality
      and values and what is inside develop.]


      I think this is true, for the most part.
      But also, there is something within ourselves or our
      spirit, some may call it "free will" that allows a
      person to go beyond the context in which they were
      raised, or the circumstances fate has thrown.
      At any point, a person can make a choice to
      do something different and work for a change.

      [RE: Skin color is one element of who we are that
      defines not what we believe, but the types of
      issues we are faced with and how we see life.]


      This is an interesting thought...
      I can honestly say that when I was growing up I knew I was
      different" and sometimes people said nasty things to me
      but I never saw life or other people in terms of skin color.
      When I moved to a bigger city, the
      issue of color was brought up all the time.
      It was really weird, and uncomfortable, to be in a place
      where skin color didn't matter and wasn't an issue to me
      then to be faced with color all the time--and the pressure
      to have certain friends or act a certain way or choose a side.
      I just refused.

      [RE: ...especially in America where we
      are very race and skin color conscious.]


      I couldn't agree more!

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Dustin.

      Have a Blessed Day ~ Lynn


    • barac1998@aol.com
      Well don t let the comments get to you. I know it can be hard, but you may hear ignorant things from time to time. My oldest son was always thought to be
      Message 2 of 8 , Aug 1, 2007
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        Well don't let the comments get to you.
        I know it can be hard, but you may
        hear ignorant things from time to time.
        My oldest son was always thought to be Latin.
        He had straight hair for many years and
        people thought he couldn't be "black".
        Blacks wondered why his hair was so straight
        even though he had a white mother.
        Whites thought he couldn't be "black".
        He had even been told by a woman that he was
        mistaken about the 'ethnicity' of his father.
        She then told his mother that he thinks his father
        is "black", and his mother said "he is".
        I just say we know who we are and it is important
        for our children to know who they are.
        To be grounded in their identity.
        The rest will fall into place.
         
        Peter







      • kier22_2
        It is hard. Even as an adult I get it all the time. I can be rather sarcastic so I am never at a loss what to say. But sometimes you just get tired of having
        Message 3 of 8 , Aug 1, 2007
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          It is hard.

          Even as an adult I get it all the time.
          I can be rather sarcastic so I
          am never at a loss what to say.

          But sometimes you just get tired of
          having to fight back ignorant people
          & educate them all the time.

          Just take comfort in the fact that
          YOU & Your Child know who you are.

          It might even help to do a geneology chart
          as a project when your child is older just
          so he can fight the ignorant with facts.

          Keep your head up, I know it's not easy.




          barac1998@... wrote:



          Well don't let the comments get to you.

          I know it can be hard, but you may
          hear ignorant things from time to time.

          My oldest son was always thought to be Latin.
          He had straight hair for many years and
          people thought he couldn't be "black".
          Blacks wondered why his hair was so straight
          even though he had a white mother.
          Whites thought he couldn't be "black".
          He had even been told by a woman that he was
          mistaken about the 'ethnicity' of his father.
          She then told his mother that he thinks his father
          is "black", and his mother said "he is".

          I just say we know who we are and it is important
          for our children to know who they are.

          To be grounded in their identity.

          The rest will fall into place.

          Peter









          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/3136
          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/991
        • pierre jefferson
          Dear Jamie, This is the extent people will go to find out what your son is? Almost like preparing a road map for you and him to follow! Saying he might get
          Message 4 of 8 , Aug 1, 2007
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            Dear Jamie,

            This is the extent people will
            go to find out what your son is?

            Almost like preparing a road
            map for you and him to follow!

            Saying he might get darker is
            really saying he might lose points
            as being more desirable or attractive.

            Just 3 years old and already getting
            the race meter passed over him
            like a pigment calculator.
            And the hair question?
            They think all "black" people should
            have curly hair or tight woolly
            hair, this is totally untrue.
            There are "blacks" who have straight
            hair that are extremely dark and
            contain no European genetics ... etc.
            Then who should care if somebody's
            hair is straight or not.

            Human beings are more than hair or skin color.

            These are small things compared to the more
            important things that face us as a society.

            Mixed kids really get the screen test far
            more than other less obvious mixed kids do.
            People trying to confirm if his dad
            is "black" or some other non-white
            parent so they can bring closure
            to their race conscious suspicions,
            and label your son more "accurately".
            They don't have to know
            you in order to judge you!
            They depend on their eyes to
            do a scanning of your sons
            files before sending them
            to the appropriate folder.

            I don't blame you for finally being
            sick of stupid questions flowing
            out of the mouths of ignorant
            race-conscious people.

            No you shouldn't feel like you have
            to explain or apologize for you
            and your son being "different".

            You both are a new blend of
            the Mixed Generation, which
            is the future for all mankind,
            in the coming years Mixed-Race
            people will be so common to see!
            I'm sure its impact will diminish as its
            files and folders are replenished yearly.

            Just stay firm and strong when
            confronted by race patrols trying to
            keep the racial divide alive and well.

            Your son will grow up stronger from
            these experiences also, but he will
            also have a wider perspective of his
            world and in the long run a better
            formula in which to survive, and live
            peacefully in a racially mixed society.

            Pierre

            Jamie Hook <jamie091904@...> wrote:
            What gets me is how these ignorant
            people can say things to kids or
            about kids regarding their skin color.

            Frequently I am asked stupid questions
            like is he mexican or will he get darker?
            My son is going on three years old.
            Then I have people who will say stupid
            things like he'll darken up by puberty.
            I sometimes get people who say look at
            the tips of his ears that'll be his color.

            Like I really care.

            There are others who ask him
            where did u get such curly hair just
            wanting me to say his Dad's 'black'.

            I'm still new at this and learning how to deal
            with it I've gotten sick of being nice and
            answering stupid questions or hearing color
            crap from people who don't even know us.

            Any one got some advice for a clueless mom.


            pierre jefferson <pierrejefferson2007 @...>wrote



            Yes Lynn i fully understand how your life
            growing up in a color conscious society
            was a personal challenge daily!
            But your unconditional view of skin
            color is sadly still in the minority.
            Our society is so deeply rooted into
            making a 'difference' out of "difference" !
            Its in our literature.. Courts..Music. .
            Racial jokes..even our Churches, ... etc.
            We have made it a central part of our every day living.
            Being of Mixed-Race, people feel that you have
            to choose sides and when you don't choose a
            side, they become angry at you for accepting both.
            Racism can not accept difference!
            Its very nature is to attack the other,
            regardless how good a person the other may be.
            Racism is not new, its been with us for thousands
            of years taking on various forms and keeping
            division between people and even causing
            wars and civil unrest as it still does today.
            Racism is like Religion for most people,
            they need something to worship and
            practice in a ritualistic manner.
            Racism also eases their fears of the unknown while
            giving them a sense of elevation above others who
            they see as less important, or unimportant period.
            Human beings are judmental creatures and need
            to cast this judment in numerous ways to
            feel some how Superior to its enviorment.
            The people like your self who see people
            as people are actually the foundation or
            examples for all humam beings to learn from.
            Racism only lives inside people, for
            there is no prejudice in 'nature' ...
            its only found in 'human nature'.
            Sadly when we have disasters like earth quakes
            or hurricanes then all of a sudden most people
            temporarily drop their prejudice nature,
            they help one another and show compassion
            towards each other during the crisis.
            But this may only last for a few weeks,
            then they slowly pick up their bags of
            prejudice throwing them across their shoulders
            resuming the age old tradition once more.
             
            Pierre



            docilechicken24 <kjoule70@hotmail. com> wrote:



            I'm glad you appreciated what I said. You're welcome.

            There's just one thing I wanted to add.

            I do believe that free will can allow
            us to get past our circumstances.
            But i also think it takes an amazing person
            to make that jump into the new and unknown and
            to go against what has been placed before you,
            in other words, the average person would live
            their lives largely defined by their context.

            Average is average to make the choice
            to not allow others to limit you is
            extraordinary and commendable.
            I don't believe it is fair to
            expect everyone to be extraordinary.
            I believe we should hope for
            that and encourage that, but
            not necessarily expect it.

            Dustin


            wintyreeve@. .. wrote:


            [RE: The context in which we live life has
            everything to do with how our personality
            and values and what is inside develop.]


            I think this is true, for the most part.
            But also, there is something within ourselves or our
            spirit, some may call it "free will" that allows a
            person to go beyond the context in which they were
            raised, or the circumstances fate has thrown.
            At any point, a person can make a choice to
            do something different and work for a change.

            [RE: Skin color is one element of who we are that
            defines not what we believe, but the types of
            issues we are faced with and how we see life.]


            This is an interesting thought...
            I can honestly say that when I was growing up I knew I was
            different" and sometimes people said nasty things to me
            but I never saw life or other people in terms of skin color.
            When I moved to a bigger city, the
            issue of color was brought up all the time.
            It was really weird, and uncomfortable, to be in a place
            where skin color didn't matter and wasn't an issue to me
            then to be faced with color all the time--and the pressure
            to have certain friends or act a certain way or choose a side.
            I just refused.

            [RE: ...especially in America where we
            are very race and skin color conscious.]


            I couldn't agree more!

            Thanks for sharing your thoughts Dustin.

            Have a Blessed Day ~ Lynn



          • wintyreeve@aol.com
            Hello Friends, I think a good way to help mixed kids is to emphasize the positive--and when finding ways to cope with challenges, show them there IS a way,
            Message 5 of 8 , Aug 3, 2007
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              Hello Friends,
               
              I think a good way to help mixed kids is to emphasize the positive--and when finding ways to cope with challenges, show them there IS a way, they are not alone. There are alot of community and cultural events that may be a great way to spend quality time together while learning about their heritage (or learning respect for others) and building good self-esteem.
              I also take my kids to the Farmer's Market--I encourage them to ask questions from the vendors and try new foods. It's alot of fun. I showed my son the buffalo burgers, haha, he looked at the patty and could not believe a buffalo fit in there!
               
              I hope this helps... Lynn
               
              Krystal Meyers (Christian Rock): http://krystalmeyers.com/
              Out of Eden (Christian R&B/Hip-Hop)
              Are two artists that I think really have a positive message, even when dealing with tough topics like peer pressure and being different from others. OOE has retired but there are alot of their old CDs out. I like that the music of OOE encourages you to find strength within, alot of their songs deal with setting boundaries and learn to be assertive. Krystal Meyers has an audio player on her site. She is a really energetic performer--and has a way of finding something good out of challenging situations; not to mention her songs are just so loud & fun.
               
              Chicken Soup for the Soul has books for teenagers and also journals.
               
              For young kids (ages 2-8), there is a Sesame Street book called: "We're Different, We're the Same". It teaches kids to have tolerance and appreciation for differences in others. There are positive messages about friendship, and that what brings people together is not based on what is outside.
              Author:Bobbi Jane Kates
              ISBN:0679832270
              Pages:32
              Publisher:
              Random House Books for Young Readers
              Colorful illustrations and simple rhyming text convey an important message in a way that kids will love. Follow along as your Sesame friends learn that even though we may have different looking eyes or noses or other body parts, we are all very much alike in more meaningful ways.




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