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Re: Passing

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  • Creativlit
    I look white but never passed so to speak. I disagree that because I look that way I took on the characteristics or other of a caucasian person. I look
    Message 1 of 2 , May 24, 2007
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      I look white but never "passed" so to speak.
      I disagree that because I look that way I took on
      the characteristics or other of a caucasian person.
      I look noting like my father wo looks full Native.
      My sisters are all darker complected brown eyes hair.
      Not me. I adopted a lifestyle that was somewhere in
      the middle between being native and caucasian.

      I also have the problem of people feeling
      free to make racial jokes around me.
      My mother in law is horrid at this. I also cringe when my brother in
      law makes comments like "hold your fork like a white man" to my kids.
      I refuse to participate in racist jokes, profiling and refuse to
      participate in fat jokes or any language or behavior I feel denigrates
      another person based soly on physical attributes of a person.

      Noreene
    • Heather Stimmel
      Hi, Noreene! I go through the exact, same things. I, too, look VERY white (hehehe), so get the same attitudes, comments, etc. I was abandoned at birth and
      Message 2 of 2 , May 25, 2007
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        Hi, Noreene!
        I go through the exact, same things. I, too, look VERY
        "white (hehehe)," so get the same attitudes, comments, etc.
        I was abandoned at birth and later put up for adoption.
        When I was in my mid-20's, I met my biological mother, various
        siblings (5 out of 11!!!!!) and other extended family members.
        The same way you describe your physical appearance, in
        relation to your other family members... it's the same here.
        I look very "white," with red hair, etc.
        A couple of my sisters have dark redish-brown hair
        (like my biological mother), while others have
        dark blondish brown (by a different father).
        The Native American comes from my mother's side, but
        because many of us have different fathers- that, in
        itself, explains the physical differences between us.
        I have yet to meet/be in contact with the other
        siblings, nor do I know if that will ever happen.
        I can say one thing: when I met my biological
        mother and some of my siblings, they actually
        have some Native American features.
        Me? I just look "white."
        I, for one, know how difficult it is to be judged by
        outward appearances and for something/someone you're not.
        It hurts and, at times, even makes me angry.
        It makes me very sympathetic and understanding of what my
        son goes through (he's "black," "white," Cherokee indian).
        People look at him and see, either, "black" or "mexican."
        We've had many problems with that.
        He doesn't talk about how it makes him feel, though,
        unless it's just outright ignorance ("white" people
        calling him out his name [the N-word] or "black"
        people saying he looks mexican, indian or whatever).
        Usually, he internalizes his feelings,
        which I try to have him avoid doing.
        All the negative race stuff isn't good
        for anyone... especially our children!
        You know... sometimes, I really feel alone
        out there- like, there's no one "like me,"
        who understands what WE go through.
        It's just as bad, hurts just as much and is just as
        IGNORANT as any, other racist behaviors out there!
        Take care=) Sincerely, Heather
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