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Re: helloooo

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  • Heather Stimmel
    Hi, Lynn =) Thanks for the nice ~WELCOME!~ I truly do feel WELCOME here =) I really enjoyed reading your post. I think it helped me out. Yes ... I was
    Message 1 of 32 , Dec 4, 2006
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      Hi, Lynn =)

      Thanks for the nice ~WELCOME!~
      I truly do feel WELCOME here =)

      I really enjoyed reading your post.
      I think it helped me out.

      Yes ... I was relinquished, at birth, taken to a "friends" house
      and left for months, where ... the parents finally decided they
      could not, financially, keep me. According to my adoptive
      mother (mom), this family wanted, very much, to keep me,
      but felt like I'd be better off, financially, somewhere else.
      My adoptive father's oldest brother (my uncle) is an attorney
      and he is the one that handled the adoption for my parents.
      At 6 months old (I believe), I went to live with mom and dad.
      Then, at 11 months, I was officially adopted. For most of my
      life (childhood, teens), I didn't know much about my adoption
      or biological family. I've always known I was adopted, though
      ... as my mom and dad sat my brother (adopted, but not my
      biological sibling) and I down and told us so. I think,
      I was, like, 5 or 6 when that took place. I remember it,
      but remember wondering what the heck "adopted" meant.

      I think I was more confused than anything.

      That said, I moved away from home at 18 (joined the Army).
      A year or so later, I moved to VA for a job. Then, moved
      to MD. Stayed there, and that's when I decided to get
      serious about finding out more about my birth family.
      I talked to a former babysitter of my brother/I and asked her
      what she knew about it, because she seemed to always been
      hangin' around our house. That is when I found out that
      my uncle was the attorney who handled my adoption.
      She encouraged me to contact him for more info.
      So, I did. He was able to obtain my original birth
      certificate (which is nearly impossible to do unless
      you have a court order or someone- like my uncle-
      |with the "right connections") and forwarded it to me.

      So ... that's how I discovered who my biological parents were.

      From there, it was just a bit more detective work and they
      were found. By the way, they're from the south (WV).
      Contacted a 1/2 sister of mine (learned her name
      through a caseworker that had my case in her file)
      and arranged to meet them. Meeting went o.k., but it
      was clear they were part of a very dysfunctional family.

      All these years later, we're living in the exact, same city
      where I was born (loooooooooong story!) and I choose
      NOT to have a relationship with any of them ... except
      for a cousin on my biological father's side of the family,
      who also has nothing to do with the rest of her "family”.

      Since all this happened (mid-90's), I have done some
      geneology research on my birth father's family as well
      as attempted some on my birth mother's side (no luck).
      In one of the last conversations I had with my birth
      mother, I asked her about her background and
      she told me that her mother was part Cherokee.

      Don't know how accurate that information is, but I
      have done a little research on the area (where she's
      from) and I have found that a high percentage
      of Cherokee Indians did live here, years ago.
      Not that that means anything, I suppose.
      I'm just going on what she told me.
      On my birth father's side, ancestors
      come from the south and England.
      That's about all I know.

      Growing up, though, I always "felt different”.
      Can't explain it, really. Just that, compared
      to all the other girls I went to school with,
      I had coarser hair/THICK and was bigger-boned
      (as they say=).Now, to look at me, many people define me
      as “pure” ‘White’. I have fair skin, basically, and red hair.
      The whole thing is just so confusing, at times,
      because it's something I just can't "put my
      finger on”. Frustrating. Oh well.

      I know what you mean, about many more people
      (than not) being "Mixed," instead of “just”-‘White’.
      I wonder the same thing, about myself, often.
      I would be very content learning I was "Mixed”.
      I have no problem with that at all. I just want the TRUTH.
      To me ... it's more of a disgrace, these days, to have to
      admit you're ‘White’, than it is to admit you're "Mixed”.
      Truly, many ‘Whites’ (today and in the past) have done
      a huge disservice to mankind, in general. For me, it's
      shameful to say I'm ‘White’. The things that were/are done
      in the name of preservation, to promote racism and further
      ignorance just DISGUST AND REPULSE me! I HATE IT!!!

      Maybe I'll do some more "digging" on my
      biological family and see what I come up with.

      Thank you for your advice and post.
      It was nice.

      Have a great day=)

      Sincerely,

      Heather
    • Heather Stimmel
      Thank You, Lynn! Yeah, you know when something s amiss and especially when you re different. That s how I feel. Another thing I ve always wondered about...
      Message 32 of 32 , Dec 5, 2006
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        Thank You, Lynn! Yeah, you know when something's amiss and
        especially when you're "different." That's how I feel.

        Another thing I've always wondered about... my brother
        (adopted after me, but not my biological sibling)- he's always
        been "darker" than the rest of us. Olive skin mixed with a
        little "tan" (all-year-round tan, though). I know, I've ALWAYS
        thought he was not from both White parents. It makes me wonder...?!
        I mean- certainly, that doesn't necessarily "mean" anything,
        but it's just a thought I've had over the years.

        I understand what you're saying about checking out certain
        neighborhoods, hang-outs, etc. That is good advice.

        The only thing is... where I was born, it's a small city
        (where "everyone knows everyone else") and I don't know
        how much info. I'd get and how reliable it would be.

        I'm gonna' try, though. I'll let everyone know what I find out.

        Hopefully something. I do know that, this was once an area of a
        high population of American indians... specifically Cherokee
        and Lakota (I think- can't really remember the 2nd tribe).
        I do know that much. Other than that, I have to do some digging.

        Thanks, again, for the advice and have a great day =) Heather



        http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/2044
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