- Hi, Lynn =)
Thanks for the nice ~WELCOME!~
I truly do feel WELCOME here =)
I really enjoyed reading your post.
I think it helped me out.
Yes ... I was relinquished, at birth, taken to a "friends" house
and left for months, where ... the parents finally decided they
could not, financially, keep me. According to my adoptive
mother (mom), this family wanted, very much, to keep me,
but felt like I'd be better off, financially, somewhere else.
My adoptive father's oldest brother (my uncle) is an attorney
and he is the one that handled the adoption for my parents.
At 6 months old (I believe), I went to live with mom and dad.
Then, at 11 months, I was officially adopted. For most of my
life (childhood, teens), I didn't know much about my adoption
or biological family. I've always known I was adopted, though
... as my mom and dad sat my brother (adopted, but not my
biological sibling) and I down and told us so. I think,
I was, like, 5 or 6 when that took place. I remember it,
but remember wondering what the heck "adopted" meant.
I think I was more confused than anything.
That said, I moved away from home at 18 (joined the Army).
A year or so later, I moved to VA for a job. Then, moved
to MD. Stayed there, and that's when I decided to get
serious about finding out more about my birth family.
I talked to a former babysitter of my brother/I and asked her
what she knew about it, because she seemed to always been
hangin' around our house. That is when I found out that
my uncle was the attorney who handled my adoption.
She encouraged me to contact him for more info.
So, I did. He was able to obtain my original birth
certificate (which is nearly impossible to do unless
you have a court order or someone- like my uncle-
|with the "right connections") and forwarded it to me.
So ... that's how I discovered who my biological parents were.
From there, it was just a bit more detective work and they
were found. By the way, they're from the south (WV).
Contacted a 1/2 sister of mine (learned her name
through a caseworker that had my case in her file)
and arranged to meet them. Meeting went o.k., but it
was clear they were part of a very dysfunctional family.
All these years later, we're living in the exact, same city
where I was born (loooooooooong story!) and I choose
NOT to have a relationship with any of them ... except
for a cousin on my biological father's side of the family,
who also has nothing to do with the rest of her "family.
Since all this happened (mid-90's), I have done some
geneology research on my birth father's family as well
as attempted some on my birth mother's side (no luck).
In one of the last conversations I had with my birth
mother, I asked her about her background and
she told me that her mother was part Cherokee.
Don't know how accurate that information is, but I
have done a little research on the area (where she's
from) and I have found that a high percentage
of Cherokee Indians did live here, years ago.
Not that that means anything, I suppose.
I'm just going on what she told me.
On my birth father's side, ancestors
come from the south and England.
That's about all I know.
Growing up, though, I always "felt different.
Can't explain it, really. Just that, compared
to all the other girls I went to school with,
I had coarser hair/THICK and was bigger-boned
(as they say=).Now, to look at me, many people define me
as pure White. I have fair skin, basically, and red hair.
The whole thing is just so confusing, at times,
because it's something I just can't "put my
finger on. Frustrating. Oh well.
I know what you mean, about many more people
(than not) being "Mixed," instead of just-White.
I wonder the same thing, about myself, often.
I would be very content learning I was "Mixed.
I have no problem with that at all. I just want the TRUTH.
To me ... it's more of a disgrace, these days, to have to
admit you're White, than it is to admit you're "Mixed.
Truly, many Whites (today and in the past) have done
a huge disservice to mankind, in general. For me, it's
shameful to say I'm White. The things that were/are done
in the name of preservation, to promote racism and further
ignorance just DISGUST AND REPULSE me! I HATE IT!!!
Maybe I'll do some more "digging" on my
biological family and see what I come up with.
Thank you for your advice and post.
It was nice.
Have a great day=)
- Thank You, Lynn! Yeah, you know when something's amiss and
especially when you're "different." That's how I feel.
Another thing I've always wondered about... my brother
(adopted after me, but not my biological sibling)- he's always
been "darker" than the rest of us. Olive skin mixed with a
little "tan" (all-year-round tan, though). I know, I've ALWAYS
thought he was not from both White parents. It makes me wonder...?!
I mean- certainly, that doesn't necessarily "mean" anything,
but it's just a thought I've had over the years.
I understand what you're saying about checking out certain
neighborhoods, hang-outs, etc. That is good advice.
The only thing is... where I was born, it's a small city
(where "everyone knows everyone else") and I don't know
how much info. I'd get and how reliable it would be.
I'm gonna' try, though. I'll let everyone know what I find out.
Hopefully something. I do know that, this was once an area of a
high population of American indians... specifically Cherokee
and Lakota (I think- can't really remember the 2nd tribe).
I do know that much. Other than that, I have to do some digging.
Thanks, again, for the advice and have a great day =) Heather