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3777Re: How are you treated or viewed by monoracials?

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  • tmdenmark
    Aug 4, 2008
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      I have a bit of a different experience. I'm a carmel colored, green-eyed MGM (African, Irish, German, English) that has had a lifetime of weird (sometimes derogatory) comments made toward me over the years.

      Now that I'm darn near 40 years old, some of them make me laugh and
      some of them still make me just shake my head in awe at ignorance:

      "Me and you would make cute babies...with those green eyes."
      "Your dirty. Your skin is dirty." (From a 7 year old white child)
      "Now...you're Cuban, right?"
      "You're different from other Black people."
      "If you marry a a light skinned man, you'll have really cute babies."
      "Don't marry a Black man...your kids will have nappy hair."

      I'm the youngest of 7 and until I went to Kindergarden, I was pretty
      isolated. I didn't see anyone but my immediate family until then, so it was normal for me to see skin color every shade of brown and eye color from beige to blue. When I went to kindergarden, I remember coming home to report to my mother that "White people aren't white...they're peach!" My Mother chuckled and said, "Baby, if you want to call them peach, you call them peach."

      During that same age, I girl came to me and asked, "Are you mixed?"
      I had NO idea what she meant. No one had ever asked that and I'd
      never heard that phrase before. I asked her, "What does that mean?" she matter-of-factly said, "Yo Momma or Daddy must be white." when I said, "No they're not." I don't think she quite believed me.

      I can recall as a child, adults fussing over me, my skin color, my
      eye color, my hair, telling me they wanted me to be their son's
      wife. I never understood it until I got older. To some Black
      people, I was a "prize", to other's a threat. One of my best
      friend's, friends said to me, point blank..."I never liked light
      skinned sista's...because they always took the Black men!" I was
      like, "Whaa...??" I wanted to say, "Don't blame my skin tone for
      your inadequacies or lack of personality."...but I DIDN'T SAY IT!
      Although I wanted to.

      I recall being in a diversity training class 2 years ago. Each ethnicity was asked to present themselves. It was then that I
      realized I was the only person there of African descent. My training colleagues were shocked when the first statement I made was, "Not all brown people are of African descent." I heard gasps, I heard hushed tones of "Really.", "Wow." etc. When I began to share with them my own heritage, I could still see a little "shock" on their faces. I was comforted in knowing that I educated a few people with a little more knowledge.

      When I began to research my family geneology, I found the Irish
      side. I went to an Irish shop in my city. ALL things from Ireland.
      I thought, "Great!" When I went into the shop, the shop keeper
      greated me with nicely. When I began to inquire about my ancestry
      name, our coat of arms, the tartan...she seemed to get more and more
      irritated. I wasn't sure if it was because of my questions or me, so I just left the shop. My biggest disappointment is having a heritage I don't feel comfortable celebrating. Black people don't believe me ... and the Irish don't receive me. So...I'm content enough in who God created me to be that the small people and small minds don't bother me. :-D



      In Generation-Mixed@yahoogroups.com,
      Micah <micahusa@...> wrote:


      Hi everybody! I'm Micah

      I wanted to ask some questions.

      How are you viewed by monoracials? 

      How to you feel others view you? For example, if you are a mix of
      Black and White, how do they react to you when they discover your
      background? Do you feel accepted, rejected, or do you feel that you
      are treated with indifference?

      As for me, I'm Asian, Polynesian, African, and European. Some
      people get confused, because they don't know my background. Most
      people can usually tell what I am, and most just assume full
      Polynesian, so they treat me accordingly. They say, "Oh yeah, you do
      look like whatever The Rock is." LOL.  I've had a lot of Asians ask
      if I were mixed with Asian and they were very accepting, but they
      were the younger ones. What I find weird is how some of the older
      Asians act towards me, sometimes. I get all the stares, that clearly
      let me know that they are baffled, lol. Especially when I was in this Korean market the other day buying black bean paste to make Jjajang myun (black bean noodles). The older man who was helping didn't seem phased at how eloquently I pronounced "jjajang myun", lol. He just said, Oh okay!" But then he just started staring like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Perplexed!

      Well all know what they are probably thinking while they are
      staring. The age old question, "What is he?".

      The same thing happened at my old job. There was an older (70's)
      Asian guy there who would just stare and make comments like, "You are a handsome young man". He would also ask where I was from almost
      every single day, but I always replied with "Florida", lol. But he
      was curious so, instead of just staring everyday, he pulls me aside
      and says "You¢re mixed with either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese,
      aren¡t you?" I told him my background, then from that day on he told
      me to never marry a Black, White, or Latino person. I was pretty
      shocked at his bluntness, but respected his honest opinion at the
      same time.

      He said that he could tell that my roots were Asian and that I
      needed to marry an Asian person. How?....I don't know.  Later on, he
      even went on to say that he was going to arrange a marriage for me to a Korean girl, lol. He said that it was okay for me to "date" others, but not to marry or have kids with anyone other than an Asian, LOL.
      Also that are babies would be beautiful.  Don't get me wrong, he is
      an awesome guy, but is just blunt and to the point with his views and opinions. I do know that you a lot of older Asian people believe in pureness of race, so he really surprised me.

      Even my aunt had a sit down with me, last year, about who I should
      marry. I'm not sure why, lol. She told me that I should marry either
      a Polynesian or Asian and never an American (white or black). I am
      guessing that they just think we will mix better, culturally?

      That showed me how they viewed me in a sense, but everybody¢s
      perception of you is not going to be the same. Someone else could say that I should only marry a Black person, etc etc.

      I¢m curious to know about your experiences! Thanks for reading!
      Hope no one was offended by my email. 

      Ciao!

      Micah
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