2910Re: A note on 'Self-Definition'
- May 30, 2007I understand.
Ironically, the same issue presented today in my workplace.
My coworker described my team as being a homogenous group of whites.
I pointed out, again, "I consider myself bi-racial."
While she apologized, she knew this about me, but still
considers me to be 'who I appear to be' rather than 'who I am'.
If I had a better term to use other than "passing",
that may help to eliminate any confusion.
I appreciate your thoughts.
Heather Stimmel <heather21230@...> wrote:
I really don't think anyone here objects to what you say is
happening in your case... regarding you being judged. My thinking
is/was (when I originally posted my questions), that... a person
"passing" is (to my knowledge/understanding of the word) a person who
willfully chooses to do so. I do agree that others can put us in
"little boxes," classifying us in the way they/or society view us.
It's definitely not fair, and usually not too accurate, but it's
going to happen... whether we like it or not. The thing is... as
Multiracial people, we need to stand up (together) and let people
know, "Hey! You will not be deciding, for me, who I am and who I
define myself to be!" That is for us to decide, and anyone who says
different has lost their marbles-lol! It infuriates me to hear people
say, they believe race relations, in this country, have improved. I
just don't see it. I mean... sure... from the 60's and the Civil
Rights Era, things have improved- but, not to what they should / could be. We still have a long way to go! If not for ourselves, for our children we need to take a stand. I have seen my son go through some pretty awful name-calling (racial) and turmoil. It shouldn't be that way... but, it is. The way people see us, though, will never change. People will think, say and do as they always have - the way they please. The difference is... unlike earlier times, when individuals felt they had no choice, but to "pass," we DO have a choice. I, for one, am NOT about to lie down and allow some misguided,
ignorant people to determine, for me, who I am and what I want to do
in life. I am who I am, and... unless I yield to their idiotic beliefs/or views of myself, I am in NO WAY allowing them to determine
who/what I will become. I would've had a real rough time back in the
60's... when all this was going on. I just could not have sat back and
allowed people to disrespect me/or degrade me to the point I felt I
had no choice, but to "pass." I can only imagine how very horrific
and difficult that period of time must've been for those people. I do
see people today who feel as if they don't have a choice in the matter. Oh, but we DO!!! Stand up! Tell people who do this to you
(label you) and make you feel badly about yourself that you aren't
about to allow them to do that to you... that, you are who you are and
there is no way you're going to allow them, or anyone else, to decide
who you are/who you get to be. They may look at you like you're foolish, or even laugh in your face. You got your point across,
though! They'll definitely think twice about approaching you with that
nonsense in the future. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world we
live in... nor will it be, until God makes that happen. Until then, we
have to live with, interact with and tolerate people who do not like.
I, too, used to get angry and think, "Yeah, right! What am I going to
do to change how other's think about me? Nothing!" I used to feel
like, "fighting the good fight" was not worth it. It is SOOOOOOOOO
worth it!!! When you do your part, and stand true to who you are (no
matter what others think of you!), you are setting an example for the
youth of tomorrow... that they are special, they are strong and you
can teach other people and educate them to their nonsense. It happens
all the time! Take care and I hope you find peace in your own
situation. Sincerely, Heather
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