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1157Okay..here are 2 for the books

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  • Philip Arnell
    Aug 11, 2006
      Hello everyone, I hope you all are well.
      Yesterday I was speaking to a friend of mine in regard
      to another friend that she had a conflict with. the first
      friend is ' very much into 'the black movement' respectfully.
      She is partially of celtic decent she told me.
      The other friend is ' of a mixed background,
      she looks like she could be my sister.
      they had issues with one another over something .
      The second friend moved to Georgia becasue she met a man
      on the internet and just took up with him. A white fellow,
      her first husband was white and in their
      turmoils went as far to call her a n**ger.
      the first friend told me about this, then she ended the
      conversation with thats what you get when you go
      outside your 'race', stay within your own.
      Along with a few other statements after that, she
      was so intense with how she made the comments.
      The point I am making is this, with the bad choice that
      friend #2 made in her first marriage, why would friend #1
      make a comment in regard to being in or out of anothers race.
      The second story is a person who was trying to run away
      from herself. this was a girl that I knew in college.
      she was mixed , but made it a point to make sure that
      she wore an irish pin around , and refused to associate
      with any other people of color, even the teachers.
      I remember when one of the "black" organizations
      approached her for some school event and she went
      nuts feeling insulted that they approached her.

      Her issues I am sure have followed her through
      life and truly she will never find happiness,
      if she has for her sake I hope that she can
      exist healthy in her fears as many people do.
      that fear is thinking that they will be 'found out'
      for something when the world already knows.

      Peter Barrett <barac1998@...> wrote:
      Phillip I was wondering have you ever read The color Complex:
      The Politics of Skin Color Among African Americans by
      Kathy Russell,Midge Wilson Ph.D., and Ronald Hall Ph.D..

      It is quite informative on this subject.

      Your wife being from France is quite interesting.
      It is my understanding that there all French citizens are
      considered French no matter what their ethnicity by law.
      Which here in America is said but not actually acted out.
      What is your take on that?

      The Guadealupe thing is quite familiar
      as we have already said in many places.

      Again the color barrier has left scares here.
      Some places iit isn't as prevelant as others.

      I went to a Creole convention a couple of years ago.
      I know that may sound strange but that is what it is called.

      I thought there might be a color issue. I never felt more at home.
      People were of every combination you could think of.
      It was about culture and ancestral ties not phenotype.
      Creoles have had such a bad rap that I wasn't sure what to expect.
      It was all family. I was pleasantly suprised and amazed.
      This was not always the case but they are trying to bury the
      hatchett if you will. Which is how the world should be anyway.

      I'm also curious does your wife have to deal with people assuming
      the French are always rude? If so, how does she approach that issue?

      j s <creolescience@ ...> wrote:

      "In guadelupe they tend to have a slaves mentality
      and will flock to a white person in a second or
      will throw themselves at a lighter complected person.
      that is one of the things that I dont like about living there"

      Sounds like I'd do pretty well there then.
      I guess I'll check the flights ;)

      Philip Arnell <trigueno03@yahoo. com> wrote:

      Wow Peter this floors me. I had no idea of this.
      Neither does my wife, she is actually from france.
      You know I have heard people from the caribbean say
      dont have children with a dark person becasue it will
      ruin the look of the family, I have always hated that.

      One thing I dont like about my wifes family in guadeloupe
      is that they are a bit on the closet racist side.
      Meaning they all seem to have this entality that
      get with a white guy to have a beautiful child,
      one of them did this just for that reason, now she
      really ignores her first child whos father is black.
      My wifes family on her mothers side
      are african and east indian decent.

      In guadelupe they tend to have a slaves mentality
      and will flock to a white person in a second or
      will throw themselves at a lighter complected person.
      that is one of the things that I dont like about living there.

      Peter Barrett <barac1998@aol. com> wrote:

      Yes really, I'm afraid he is right. The Blue vein Society and
      other organizations. That is part of our old American history.
      It however has had a profound effect on on us to this day.
      You could say not old stuff like that was still going on in the 60's.

      They were trying to get as close to the European look that they
      could. It had an effect on both light and dark. If you had
      kinky hair you trying to get it straight, if you had straight
      or wavy hair you were trying to make it frizzy or coarse
      to have an Afro during the Black Power time period.

      Most of us are mixed so ther is a great chance you
      would marry some one who is mixed as well in America.

      My wife and I both are as well. I didn't see
      it that way when we married. She has British/
      Caribbean/Panamania n/Jewish/ African Ancestry.
      You wouldn't think that by meeting her.
      We all know the deal.

      By the [way] Lynn, when are you going to shoot us
      another beautiful poem of yours / I need a lift.
      Take care.


      In Generation-Mixed@ yahoogroups. com,
      Philip Arnell <trigueno03@ ...> wrote:

      no way really?? OMG!! I have never heard that one before.
      We all have our preferences, but come on,
      I married a woman who is also from a mixed background, it just
      happend to be that way, she honestly could have been anything.
      She still would have been a pain in the neck , lolol .
      I married for character, most people dont do that ever.

      j s <creolescience@ yahoo.com> wrote:

      The hair texture and skin color issues are also alive and well
      in the south. I remember hearing about the "Paper bag test"
      (if you are darker than th ebag you are too dark), 'comb
      test'(if a comb can't run through your hair it's too nappy)
      and "The Blue Vein Society" which meant that you had to be
      able to show a blue vein on your wrist to be a member.

      Philip Arnell <trigueno03@yahoo. com> wrote:

      I hear you Lynn,

      For caribbean families some things are a little more tolerant
      to a degree, but in all truth , the caribbean is a very
      predjudiced environment, some islands more than others,
      and there is the same thinking from different directinos,
      My Barbados family doesnt particularly like fair skinned people.
      Though they originated more than half from white settlers. They
      kind of ostricized my mother and her family to a degree. To this
      very day over 100 years later they still refer my grandmother as
      the white girll on the hill, even people that never even met her.

      My Anguilla family , are extreemly color conscious. They dont seem
      to favor the dark complexion and they are very caught up in hair.
      The St. Martin family is along the same guidelines but a little
      diferent depending on what section of the family. I would have
      to say the Aruba section of my family is the most open minded

      My cousins that grew up in the states here have no real concept of
      who they are and just put themselves in a catagory, and decided
      to be content with that, shunning where they really came from.
      Partially becasue their parents never educated
      them and this passed down to their kids.
      The other reason is they chose to be ignorant, then there is another
      group that just abandoned their culture all together. And cringe
      at meeting unknown relatives that remind them of who they are.
      Some relatives I have met on the street in the business
      disticts of NYC, they were with co workers and just
      introduced me by my name, not by my relation to them.

      I have always been open to my background and have even
      been called a liar to it, and told i had to choose,
      I guess that is the slave mentality in them
      or the slave maters mentality for others.
      Peo[ple always get uncomfrotable when it comes to this.

      Did I ever send you my books
      through email? Please let me know.

      wintyreeve@aol. com wrote:

      [[RE: As a person of a multiracial background,
      I have met many ignorant people. They were
      not educated in regard to people in general.
      My question for the group is, within your own families,
      have you ever felt predjudice from your own?
      Have anyone in your families ever try to keep you
      or others at a distance keeping a family apart?
      If so, how did you handle it? ]]

      I would honestly say that I get a "mixed" response from my family.
      Those people who do seem to resist talking about our multi-racial
      lineage, people who seem to hide from their own identity.
      People who stubbornly cling to their own notion of
      "reality" and exclude all else---to me seem to be
      coming from a place or fear and/or ignorance.
      I would not say that my family is predjudiced
      against being mixed race. Rather, it seems they

      1) Do not know their own mixed race identity and if given a
      choice would prefer to be labelled by the obvious skin color
      2) May have some idea of their own mixed race identity
      but out of fear, shame or denial choose to ignore it,
      and go by the "monoracial" type they are labelled as.

      And alot of this has to do with past
      experience and things passed down

      I would also say that living in the North is very
      different than living in the South, and that maybe
      the attitudes, and traditions of the environment
      also has shaped my family's reactions.

      I do my best to be open minded, and
      learn about other people's perspectives.
      If someone is willing to talk—I will offer my point
      of view but I really don't try to change people.
      I know that change is something you have to want for yourself.
      And I also know that what I think, feel, etc. is not
      the "One Answer"...there is a lot, also, I can learn.

      Blessings~ Lynn

      Do you Yahoo!?
      Next-gen email? Have it all with the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.

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