**********GRAPJAS********** 1 Julie 1999
Welkom by die 72 ste aflewering van GRAPJAS, ons eie
Afrikaanse Lag_'n_dag. The jokes will be in English some days
and Afrikaans the next day, of sommer 'n mix.
Just remember, we don't pull punches, we say something the
way we see it, so if you are easily offended, stuur dan GRAPJAS
aan vir jou verligte maatjie, okei?
'n Tydjie gelede het een van ons dames lesers vir ons 'n
oulike stuk gestuur oor Suid Afrika, maar dit het verlore
geraak toe die harddrive geformat is, so as jy dit nog het,
stuur dit asseblief, almal sal dit geniet.
Vandag is daar net een grappie. Julle het mos gehoor van
die vreeslike griep wat nou die rondte doen, n�? Wel,
Grapjas het dit! Byeeeeeeee!
1) ACTUAL SIGNS
These are supposedly actual signs. Whether or not they
are real, they sure are funny!
In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume
you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian
except the dog."
At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking
for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll
hear you coming."
In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes.
In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry,
come in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear
a pin drop."
In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want."
On the back of a truck "Your skid stops here"
"Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can
tell them almost anything"
Liz (From the UK)
"Refugee From Freedom and Democracy"
South Africans home and abroad - Join GRAPJAS
Some of the jokes will be in english with an Afrikaans flavour or
bilingual, "djulle wiet, sommer in 2 tales affie Kaap af!" Jokes will be
sent 6 days a week (Sondae rus ons) with a cartoon on Saturdays.
Subscribe now by sending blank email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Stuur grappies aan grapjas@...
If you want to unsubscribe (Now why would you do that?) send blank
email to email@example.com
Cheers until tomorrow and hou die blinkkant bo!*