Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.
 

I give up

Expand Messages
  • Tatezi
    You know, I ve fought this dragon with everything I have...but I give up. I was unable to see my hepatologist today and had to see an idiot GI who doesn t know
    Message 1 of 8 , Sep 16, 2003
      You know, I've fought this dragon with everything I have...but I give up. I was unable to see my hepatologist today and had to see an idiot GI who doesn't know jackshit about hep c

      She tells me no problem with Pegasys being unfridgerated for 3+ days...just do the shots as usual.

      She wouldn't prescribe my synthroid....and my TSH has jumped up from 2.0 last month to 20.2 this month.

      My restless legs...she wouldn't even discuss it...told me I'd have to make an appointment with the shrink and the first opening was mid December. Nor would she provide my elavil...that also has to be done by the shrink.

      My hemoglobin dropped a little and she wanted me back in a week. Well, bite me...if I miss two days next week to go get labs done and then spend another 6 hours waiting to see the doctor a few days later, I won't have a job to make ends meet.

      A handful of xanax, several elavil, a handful of klonopin and three amaretto and orange juices have not made me feel any better.

      I quit...I don't care any more. There is not fight left in me.

      Thanks everyone for all your support all these years. Since my sole purpose now is finding a fool proof way to die with dignity I'll be leaving the list...you don't need people that don't care on a list whose purpose is to support one another.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Lorad8@aol.com
      Tatzi, Please! Don t give up. You are such an inspiration to so very many of us. Don t let the idiots at County do this to you. Don t let them break your
      Message 2 of 8 , Sep 16, 2003
        Tatzi,
        Please! Don't give up. You are such an inspiration to so very many of us.
        Don't let the idiots at County do this to you. Don't let them break your
        spirit. No defense to them, but they are just people working a job and going home
        at night like the rest of us. Unfortunately, they often hold our beings in
        their hands, and don't use their brains or their feelings. It isn't too often
        that I write in, but your email got to me. Tatzi, we love you and we need
        you.

        Think of your animals. They need you. They need you healthy and giving.
        Please don't quit our list.

        Lora


        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • claudine intexas
        Tatezi, You CANNOT let this person do this to you! Sit back, take a deep breath, and then regroup! You have three big things going on right now that are
        Message 3 of 8 , Sep 16, 2003
          Tatezi,
          You CANNOT let this "person" do this to you! Sit back, take a
          deep breath, and then regroup!
          You have three big things going on right now that are affecting
          your thinking and judgement:

          Treatment itself, the interferon
          Your thyroid
          Sleep deprivation

          This person you saw sounds like a medical student too afraid to
          do anything on their own. The refusal to prescribe antything for your
          thyroid speaks for itself, and is downright negligent and criminal.
          You need to try and get to someone over her head. Hell, go straight
          to the top!!! Didn't you have another doctor who was working with
          you? Maybe that doctor could make a phone call.

          The Roche web site on Pegasys
          (http://www.pegasys.com/default.asp?QRST=mdchcpsy00100016ifr&PSY_0013765557
          under Pegasys Copegasys product information) states clearly that the
          medication must not be left unrefrigerated for more than 24 hours.
          (You can also call them at: 1-877-PEGASYS (734-2797). I think I
          would call this doctor and suggest that she might like to avoid a
          lawsuit for malpractice. Or, call the legal department of the
          hospital. Just make sure if you do that that you plan carefully what
          you will say and stay cool and firm. However, it should get results.
          One other suggestion - make any doctor who refuses treatment
          requested, no matter what it is, WRITE IT DOWN IN YOUR CHART THAT
          HE/SHE REFUSED YOUR REQUEST FOR TREATMENT - and make them do it while
          you watch - then get a copy of it for yourself.

          I know that when you fight, and fight, and fight, for every
          little thing, that at some point it all just feels too overwhelming,
          and even a fighter just wants to give up. But you can't!

          Claudine



          __________________________________
          Do you Yahoo!?
          Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
          http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
        • Greg L Newman
          Hi Tat, Hope things work out for you. Think of any setback as a time to reflect, regroup, recommit and re-execute. Recoil par l avance. I will do the same. My
          Message 4 of 8 , Sep 16, 2003
            Hi Tat,

            Hope things work out for you. Think of any setback as a time to reflect, regroup, recommit and re-execute. Recoil par l'avance.

            I will do the same. My gi specialist told me I was starting one of the programs, studies, poor person's treatment plan, and gave me prescrips for the tranquilizers, but the promised boxes never came. After months, 4 or 5, I still have got one package. So I called the doctor's group where he was at and they said he wasn't with them any longer.

            My question to doc is how come people as smart as doctors don't know how to run their offices? I only am referring to the fact that nobody from my doc's office called me to tell me that or to rearrange what was going on with me. That's pretty dumb business practice. Instead, somebody there should have contacted all his patients right away to let them know he was gone. Nobody contacted me. I notice this happens a lot of different places where there are a group of doctors. I had to find out when I went in for something else and asked offhand how he was last week when they told me he was gone. Soooooo...

            No wonder the medicine never came. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .... He wasn't there to get it going. (But his authority is supposed to be a delegated authority, a delegated contact with patients, a delegated responsibility over patients' care. It was not a sole responsibility for the patients, but a shared, delegated responsibility. When you delegate, it's like walking, you gave someone else direct responsibility over the "right leg" of gi patients. If they leave, would your right leg have no control? Yes, it would, should. The delegater, the brain, the big shot who calls the shots, is supposed to step back in and assume his ultimate authority until he has again replaced himself through the delegation of another to the position. I think of it like power supplies/generators that offer uninterrupted service, so that went one source of power, the electric, goes off, another source of power like a gas/solar powered generator takes over. The relationship between an associate physician and
            the head physican is like that; the regular electric supply (associate physician) went off (left) and the gas generator (head physician) came on automatically. It's real easy stuff. But I see this for many years that staff seem to flounder at their responsibilities toward the practice and what had been done to that point and to preserve what they can of the benefits that were garnered for their patients during that time; because I'm sure that my gi helped a lot of people in the 4 or 5 months he was there and yet instead of me and my programs going forward, and probably I'm not alone there in this respect mind you, instead of everything going forward after he departs throught a proper reassumption & process of reassessment & reassignment of his caseload of patients, instead of that, patients sit around for months on end thinking they are working behind the scenes on something, that things are happening at the office, the insurance co, the pharmacy, whatever. Because no patient being
            told he's to expect packages of medicine to arrive starting in 10 days is going to think otherwise, at least at first. But now, after all this time, phew, many are in limbo and don't even know, and the sad thing is, one cheap temporary from the employment agency could have called all those clients/patients who have serious issues or current issues as well as every patient under that doc's care because they all have the right to know that their care has been interrupted. I know they don't want to probably get people upset or maybe going somewhere else for the services, hoping to get a new guy/gal in to take over those patients. That's really unethical to have people suffering horrific things to think their doc is still there and that the reaosn they haven't heard anything is that they are just doing back office type stuff getting things ready. Surprise! No it isn't that at all. Uhm uhm. The doc left and wow you don't know it and you got meds "COMING", right right right right right.

            I was thinking to contact the doctor out in the city where he was and make an appointment, maybe ask the insurance co where he went, if he's still in the network, because I owe him at least one visit to make him sweat for leaving me and not saying goodbye while I was on treatment, don't y'all think so? Now that I found out 5 months after he left that he left, when I was waiting for the meds that HE had promised me would be coming to my doorstep.

            Frankly friends, he's close to me zapping him with one of my zappers.

            Of course, most of us I hope know that the hypocratic oath is not a binding requirement and is just a voluntary oath that isn't required to be said at all before beginning a private practice. And I can see that because that is so, many doctors make sure they show us that they also understand that it isn't binding on them. Because when I was in the office with him he came on about how much he cared, how concerned, how positive to treat, etc etc. And poor me, I believed him. I gobbled it up. "Yes sir" Yes sir" Yes sir" Next week. All right. Man, this is great. God bless. See ya soon. ...... and none of it true. Isn't that funny?

            But I don't have to cry in my beer. Yeah, somebody ought to zap him and all the rest of those uncaring caregivers, but forget it. Not me. I'll ask God to jerk their slack like I did about Wall Street in the year 2000. I'll find a better doc soon. I'll also call them regularly to see about making an appt, or if he's still with them. Probably a monthly call to check that out makes sense these days, huh doc? Here today, gone tomorrow. Don't they think God will curse them with the lips of the rejected or neglected or that it will matter? Where's the Order of St. Luke today? What's it called these days? The Order of St. Few. The rest seem to me to be the Order of the Puke.

            Ahhhh, that felt good. Thx. I needed that.

            To sum it up, you alone will have to do it, and not any "caregiver". If you have loved ones to help get you where you need to go, you are blessed. There is no good system of healthcare today. If YOU don't call, even if they have you down as "will die in 6 mos if no surgery is done before hand", THEY willl NOT call you. You will die in 6 months. UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING.

            And they call them the leaders, the brains, the elite. Can you believe that? That's pretty arrogant.




            Open a PayPal Account today for online purchases &/or for Credit/Debit Cards

            Get a $5 Bonus just for signing up & opening an account with a funds transfer! Fast & Easy! Pay for auction purchases or buy at 1000s of online stores. Click here:
            https://www.paypal.com/refer/pal=WJXYDUMUSEY8W


            ---------------------------------
            Do you Yahoo!?
            Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software

            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          • claudine intexas
            ... . So I called the ... Hi Greg, I had a simliar experience once, and it STILL makes me mad - 5 years later! I was seeing a doctor I really liked who was
            Message 5 of 8 , Sep 16, 2003
              --- Greg L Newman <greglnewman@...> wrote:
              . So I called the
              > doctor's group where he was at and they said he wasn't with them
              > any longer.
              >
              Hi Greg,
              I had a simliar experience once, and it STILL makes me mad - 5
              years later!
              I was seeing a doctor I really liked who was part of a large
              group with several clinics all over SA, and the only reason I was
              going there was because of this one doctor. I called and made an
              appointment to see HIM asap, and was given the appointment. I got
              there and noticed that his name was no longer on the door. I asked
              TWO TIMES while in the waiting room if he was still with them, and if
              I would be seeing this particular doctor. I was assured that I was.
              It was not until a strange doctor walked into the exam room that they
              admitted that my doctor was no longer with them! I left them with a
              piece of my mind and never went back.

              It's infuriating!
              Claudine


              __________________________________
              Do you Yahoo!?
              Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
              http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
            • micky
              Tatezi, I know our first reaction is rage and then we want to give up! Who will win with this? Nobody!! I don t know you, I don t know how you live and what I
              Message 6 of 8 , Sep 17, 2003
                Tatezi,

                I know our first reaction is rage and then we want to give up! Who
                will win with this? Nobody!!
                I don't know you, I don't know how you live and what I will tell you
                is what I would do, if it were me.

                Not everyone can do this tx, not everyone can take it and put up with
                its effects. If it is doing bad instead of helping, I would stop.
                I would go back to being very strict in my diet, continue with my
                anti oxidant regimen, live my life at the fullest and make each day
                the best I could hope for.
                But that's me! My husband knows that if I ever feel that this tx is
                harming my immune system, that the rest of my body is suffering,
                eventhough my liver is getting better - I will stop.
                I'd rather have a good shorter life than to live badly,with a more or
                less liver.
                There are options, there are other paths to take. You might want to
                give up tx but don't give up life - it's the only thing that is only
                OURS and we are meant to live it well. So do it!

                Be strong, take a sip of redbush tea, sitting on your porch, look at
                the nature around you, take a deep breath and then see what the next
                step would suit you best.

                sending you good feelings,
                Micky
              • DelValle, Louis
                PLEASE DON T GIVE UP!! I know that it s easier said than done...esp. after all the crap you ve been through. But try to give yourself just a little bit of
                Message 7 of 8 , Sep 17, 2003
                  PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!! I know that it's easier said than done...esp. after
                  all the crap you've been through. But try to give yourself just a little
                  bit of time "off" and see how you feel. During that time, maybe you can try
                  to get in touch with some "higher power" for some sustenance...maybe
                  something as simple as checking out the star constellations on a clear
                  night, or closing your eyes in some quiet outside place and just listening
                  to the sounds of nature, or spluge on a super-gooey, rich treat (hell with
                  the calories for now!), or see a really dumb movie that will get a
                  bellylaugh out of you.... Who knows, something might be worthwhile.

                  Peace.

                  -----Original Message-----
                  From: Tatezi [mailto:tatezi@...]
                  Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:40 PM
                  To: Hep
                  Subject: [GIWorld-Hepatitis] I give up


                  You know, I've fought this dragon with everything I have...but I give up. I
                  was unable to see my hepatologist today and had to see an idiot GI who
                  doesn't know jackshit about hep c

                  She tells me no problem with Pegasys being unfridgerated for 3+ days...just
                  do the shots as usual.

                  She wouldn't prescribe my synthroid....and my TSH has jumped up from 2.0
                  last month to 20.2 this month.

                  My restless legs...she wouldn't even discuss it...told me I'd have to make
                  an appointment with the shrink and the first opening was mid December. Nor
                  would she provide my elavil...that also has to be done by the shrink.

                  My hemoglobin dropped a little and she wanted me back in a week. Well, bite
                  me...if I miss two days next week to go get labs done and then spend another
                  6 hours waiting to see the doctor a few days later, I won't have a job to
                  make ends meet.

                  A handful of xanax, several elavil, a handful of klonopin and three amaretto
                  and orange juices have not made me feel any better.

                  I quit...I don't care any more. There is not fight left in me.

                  Thanks everyone for all your support all these years. Since my sole purpose
                  now is finding a fool proof way to die with dignity I'll be leaving the
                  list...you don't need people that don't care on a list whose purpose is to
                  support one another.

                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



                  Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

                  ADVERTISEMENT

                  <http://rd.yahoo.com/M=194081.3897168.5135684.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=17050616
                  98:HM/A=1706996/R=0/SIG=11p5b9ris/*http://www.ediets.com/start.cfm?code=3050
                  9&media=atkins> click here

                  <http://us.adserver.yahoo.com/l?M=194081.3897168.5135684.1261774/D=egroupmai
                  l/S=:HM/A=1706996/rand=729577017>

                  Welcome to GIHepWorld

                  Post message: GIWorld-Hepatitis@yahoogroups.com
                  Subscribe: GIWorld-Hepatitis-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
                  Unsubscribe: GIWorld-Hepatitis-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
                  List owner: GIWorld-Hepatitis-owner@yahoogroups.com
                  URL to this page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GIWorld-Hepatitis
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GIWorld-Hepatitis>


                  Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
                  <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .




                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                • Suzy Balone
                  Tat you were to be my guage on whether to take the new treatment, don t give up girl, you have got a lot of spirit so utilize it, probably just one of those
                  Message 8 of 8 , Oct 1, 2003
                    Tat
                    you were to be my guage on whether to take the new treatment, don't give up
                    girl, you have got a lot of spirit so utilize it, probably just one of
                    those down days???
                    So is this treatment worse than the other or just diferent?
                    am getting a CT scan of my liver tomorrow and the doctor ran some blood
                    tests so will be getting the results back later. I was just so sick with
                    the first and my doctor said that depression with this is worse. what do
                    people think about that?

                    Suzy

                    _________________________________________________________________
                    Add MSN 8 Internet Software to your existing Internet access and enjoy
                    patented spam protection and more. Sign up now!
                    http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/byoa
                  Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.