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Kids' Stuff - Volume 10

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  • sossteve2001
    (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: | :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY March 7, 2004 A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . .
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      HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY
      March 7, 2004

      "A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . ."
      Proverbs 17:22 (Message Translation)

      (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: | :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o)


      "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have
      hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to
      little children."
      Matthew 11:25-26

      "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little
      children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore,
      whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the
      kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in
      my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:3-5

      "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the
      kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

      So often, God has used some triumph or mistake we made as parents to
      give us a deeper revelation of our relationship with Him. In a
      moment of parental pride, He gave us a vision of some small act of
      service we had done and the pride He'd felt at our first, feeble
      attempts to follow Him. And in some moment of parental frustration,
      when we felt like screaming, He gave us an equally sharp picture of
      something we had done that made Him feel much the same frustration
      toward us. Not only did He use each event to show us more about His
      role as our heavenly Father, but He used them to show us more about
      our role as His children.

      As a way of celebrating that role and remembering our countless
      blessings, we occasionally do an edition of "Humor from the Valley"
      that focuses entirely on children. We call these editions "Kid's
      Stuff." Mainly they're filled with humorous stories, but
      occasionally we also include more serious stories sent in by our
      contributors in celebration of children. We hope you will enjoy
      reading this edition as much as we enjoyed putting it together. We
      pray the articles will remind you of the way you used to be and the
      heavenly Father who longs for you to be that way again.

      I remain His less than perfect child,
      sheltered under His wing and overwhelmed by His love,

      Steve


      BEATITUDES FOR PARENTS
      (Author - Steve Goodier)

      One man says he had a great speech for parents. It was called, "How
      to Raise Your Children." He went on speaking tours in the Midwestern
      United States and was paid a high honorarium for the talk. "This guy
      will wow you, " people said. Then they had their first child. His
      majestic speech lost its punch at 2:00 am with the baby in full cry.
      But he kept trying. He renamed his new, modified speech "Some
      Suggestions for Parents" and charged bravely on. They had two more
      children. The speech changed again. And again. Now it's
      called, "Feeble Hints for Fellow Strugglers" and he begins with the
      question: "Does anyone here have a few words of wisdom?"

      Parents through the ages can identify. "Could someone, please, just
      give me the final answers to parenting?" we ask. "ALL of them? Could
      someone tell please tell me how to respond and what to do and what to
      say and when to say it and do it and tell me now?" But, of course,
      we ask the impossible.
      Maybe this will help. I have saved it for years, and do not know its
      origin. But the author has been there. It is not the final answer to
      parenting, but cherish it as a dose of wisdom worth re-reading as
      often as possible. Beatitudes for Parents:

      Blessed are those parents who make their peace with spilled milk and
      mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood.
      Blessed are those parents who refuse to compare their children with
      others, for precious unto each is the rhythm of his or her own growth.
      Blessed are those parents who have learned to laugh, for it is the
      music of a child's world.
      Blessed are those parents who understand the goodness of time, for
      they make it not a sword that kills growth but a shield to guide
      their children.
      Blessed are those parents who can say "no" without anger, for
      comforting to the child is the security of a firm decision.
      Blessed are those parents who treat their children consistently, for
      this makes children secure.
      Blessed are those parents who accept the awkwardness of their growing
      children, letting each child grow at his or her own speed.
      Blessed are those parents who are teachable, for knowledge brings
      understanding, and understanding brings love.
      Blessed are those parents who love their children in the midst of a
      hostile world, for love is the greatest of all gifts.
      Blessed are those who read these words . . . but more blessed yet are
      they who follow them!


      IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE THAT COUNTS
      (Received from Mikey's Funnies)

      A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor
      looked down her ears, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in
      here?" The little girl stayed silent.

      Next the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat.
      He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"
      Again, the little girl was silent.

      Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her
      heartbeat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

      "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on
      my underpants."


      OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
      (Received from C. Wilson)

      A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 yr.
      old son, Little Johnny. She tried to keep up with traffic but they
      were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of car's
      flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she was
      doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to
      the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind. She
      looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over
      she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he
      said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

      Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, "I do! Because you
      couldn't catch the other cars!"


      A CHILD'S TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PARENTS
      (From Ron and Jean at Bright Morning Star)

      1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection
      whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are
      short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

      2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let
      me explore safely. Don't restrict me unnecessarily.

      3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for a
      short time, please take time to explain things to me about this
      wonderful world and do so willingly.

      4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs.
      Don't nag me all day long. (You wouldn't want to be nagged for your
      inquisitiveness). Treat me as you would like to be treated.

      5. I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God
      intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me
      guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

      6. I need your encouragement to grow. Please go easy on the
      criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do, without
      criticizing me.

      7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning
      myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then
      someday I'll be prepared to make the kinds of decisions that life
      requires of me.

      8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me
      feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I
      know it's hard, but please try not to compare me to my brother or
      sister.

      9. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together.
      Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from
      kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is
      very special.

      10. Please take me to Sunday School and church regularly,
      setting a good example for me to follow. I will enjoy learning more
      about God.


      THE GREATEST
      (Received from GCFL)

      A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through
      the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and
      bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he
      tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. Strike One!"
      he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the
      greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When
      it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried. The
      boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He
      spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap
      and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he
      tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike
      Three!"

      "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"


      GOD AND LIES
      (Received from Barbara E. Sheppard)

      One day a mother was explaining to her young son that you should
      never tell a lie. She told him that God saw everything and heard
      everything. She explained, "Even though your father and I may not
      know if you are telling a lie God will know."

      The young son thought for a second and then replied, "But will He
      tell?"


      THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
      (Received from Mikey's Funnies)

      Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to
      her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The Mother
      replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the
      happiest day of her life."

      The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the
      groom wearing black?"

      ________________________________________________

      Copyright © 1998 - 2004 by Stephen J. Hall - Notes from the Valley
      and Humor from the Valley are meant to brighten your day and
      encourage you along the way. If you are blessed by them, please feel
      free to make copies and pass them along to others. If you have
      something you'd like to contribute to a future edition, or any
      questions or comments, please contact us at: sossteve@...
      ________________________________________________

      "Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands
      of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your
      lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21 (NIV)
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