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KIDS' STUFF - VOLUME 19

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  • Stephen J. Hall
    (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: | :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY February 1, 2009 A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . .
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 2, 2009
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      (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: | :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o)

      HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY
      February 1, 2009

      "A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . ."
      Proverbs 17:22 (Message Translation)


      (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: (o: | :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o)

      "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have
      hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to
      little children."
      Matthew 11:25-26

      "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little
      children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore,
      whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the
      kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in
      my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:3-5

      "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the
      kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

      So often, God has used some triumph or mistake we made as parents to
      give us a deeper revelation of our relationship with Him. In a
      moment of parental pride, He gave us a vision of some small act of
      service we had done and the pride He'd felt at our first, feeble
      attempts to follow Him. And in some moment of parental frustration,
      when we felt like screaming, He gave us an equally sharp picture of
      something we had done that made Him feel much the same frustration
      toward us. Not only did He use each event to show us more about His
      role as our heavenly Father, but He used them to show us more about
      our role as His children.

      As a way of celebrating that role and remembering our countless
      blessings, we occasionally do an edition of "Humor from the Valley"
      that focuses entirely on children. We call these editions "Kid's
      Stuff." Mainly they're filled with humorous stories, but
      occasionally we also include more serious stories sent in by our
      contributors in celebration of children. We hope you will enjoy
      reading this edition as much as we enjoyed putting it together. We
      pray the articles will remind you of the way you used to be and the
      heavenly Father who longs for you to be that way again.

      I remain His way less than perfect child,
      sheltered under His wing and overwhelmed by His love,

      Steve


      WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD
      (Received Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh)

      We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in
      town. Early the next morning, a Saturday, our 3 ½ year-old ran into
      our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the
      yard and to quit bothering us.

      About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he
      exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells - and they all work."



      WHY DO YOU DRESS FUNNY ?
      (Received from Net 153 Sunday Funnies)

      A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near
      the preschool wing when a group of little ones was trotting by on the
      way to the cafeteria. One youngster of 3 or 4 stopped and looked at
      him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"

      The priest responded, "I'm a priest and this was the uniform priests
      wear."

      Then the boy pointed to the priest's plastic collar tab and
      asked, "Do you have an owie?"

      The priest was perplexed then realized that to the kid the collar tab
      looked like a bandage. So the priest took it out and handed it to the
      boy to show him. On the back of the tab were raised letters giving
      the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and
      the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?"

      "Yes I do," said the lad, well too young to read. Peering intently at
      the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!"



      CHURCH TALES
      (Received from Horace Hooper)

      Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
      favorite bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which
      showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it
      was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

      "I see . . . And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms.
      Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"

      "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot!"

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
      say prayers before eating?"

      "No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good
      cook!"



      GIVE ME A MINUTE
      (Received from GCFL)

      A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
      they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
      artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
      she asked what the drawing was.

      The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

      The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

      Without missing a beat, or looking up from the drawing the girl
      replied, "They will in a minute."



      SPECIAL DELIVERY
      (Received from Heart Prints - Author Unknown)

      Sally walked out of the Children's Hospital for the last time after
      spending most of the last 6 months there. She sat the bag with
      Jimmy's things in it on the seat beside of her in the car. The drive
      home was hard and it was even harder to go into an empty house. She
      took the bag to Jimmy's room and started placing the model cars and
      things back exactly where he always kept them. She laid down across
      his bed and cried herself to sleep holding his pillow. Sally woke up
      about midnight and laying beside her on the bed, was a letter folded
      up. She opened the letter, it said:

      "Dear Mom,

      I know your going to miss me, but don't think that I will ever forget
      you or stop loving you because I'm not around. I'll think of you
      every day Mom and I'll love you even more each day. Someday we will
      see each other again. If you want to adopt a little boy so you won't
      be so lonely, he can have my room and my old stuff to play with. If
      you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same
      things as us boys do, so you will have to buy her dolls and stuff
      girls like.

      Don't be sad when you think about me, this is really a great place.
      Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around
      some, but it will take a long time to see everything here. The angels
      are so friendly, I love to watch them fly. Jesus doesn't look like
      any of the pictures I saw of Him, but I knew it was Him as soon as I
      saw Him. Jesus took me to see GOD! And guess what Mom? I got to sit
      on GOD'S knee and talk to Him like I was somebody important.

      I told GOD that I wanted to write you a letter and tell you Good-bye
      and everything, but I knew that wasn't allowed. God handed me some
      paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter with. I think
      Gabriel is the name of the angel that is going to drop this letter
      off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the
      questions you asked Him about "Where was He when I needed him?" God
      said, "The same place He was when Jesus was on the cross and needed
      Him. He was right there, as He always is with all His children."

      Oh, by the way Mom, nobody else can see what is written on this paper
      but you. To everyone else, it looks like a blank piece of paper. I
      have to give God His pen back now, he has some more names to write in
      the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for
      Supper. I'm sure the food will be great.

      I almost forgot to let you know - Now I don't hurt anymore, the
      cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain
      anymore and God couldn't stand to see me suffer the pain either, so
      He sent The Angel of Mercy to get me. The Angel said I was Special
      Delivery!

      Love Always,

      God & Jesus & Me".



      DON'T WAKE HIM UP
      (Received from Horace S. Hooper - Author Unknown)

      A man was giving his testimony at one of those old Salvation Army
      open air street meetings. As he was testifying, a heckler yelled
      out, "Why don't you shut up and sit down? You're just dreaming."

      Immediately that heckler felt a tug on his coat. He looked down to
      see a little girl, who said. "Sir, may I speak to you? That man who
      is talking up there is my daddy. Daddy used to be a drunkard. He
      used to spend all of the money he made on whiskey. My mother was very
      sad and would cry most of the time. Sometimes when my daddy came
      home, he would hit my mother. I didn't have shoes or a nice dress to
      wear to school. But look at my shoes. And see this pretty dress? My
      daddy bought these for me. And see my mother over there? She's the
      one with the bright smile on her face. She's happy now. She sings
      even when she's doing the ironing." Then the little girl
      said . . . "Mister, if my daddy is dreaming, please don't wake him
      up."

      _______________________________________________

      Copyright © 1998 - 2009 by Stephen J. Hall - Weekly letters of
      encouragement to Christians written by Stephen J. Hall unless
      otherwise indicated. Notes from the Valley and Humor from the Valley
      are meant to brighten your day and encourage you along the way. If
      you are blessed by them, please feel free to make copies and pass
      them along to others. If you have something you'd like to contribute
      to a future edition, or any questions or comments, please contact us
      at: steveh.rbis@...

      _______________________________________________

      "Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands
      of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your
      lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21 (NIV)
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