August Laugh Lines
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HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY
August 3, 2008
"A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . ."
Proverbs 17:22 (Message Translation)
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A new month and time once again to share a few laughs with our
friends. For new members to the list, we try to do Humor from the
Valley once a month as a break from the heavier topics in Notes from
the Valley. We collect "clean" jokes from various sources of humor
and assemble our favorites for our readers in the hopes it will bring
a little laughter to somebody's day.
Here's a few of the other reasons why we believe these editions are
"Laughter is God's hand on a troubled world."
"Laughter is the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever
granted humanity. It is often just as sacred to laugh as it is to
pray." Charles R. Swindoll
"It is the heart that is not yet sure of its God that is afraid to
laugh in his presence."
"Laughter is one of God's greatest gifts to the world. It really is
the answer to most of our problems. We are free to smile. Our maker
makes room for laughter!" Emmett Kelly, Jr.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Mark Twain
One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it (humor)
arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness
of services it renders. Oscar W. Firkins
May the pages that follow bring a smile to your face and a lift to
your spirit. May your heart be filled with the certain knowledge of
I remain your brother in Christ always.
Sheltered under His wing and
overwhelmed by His love,
IN THE BEGINNING
(Received from GCFL)
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the
clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to
God. "God," he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "Sure! Just a minute."
A HEALTHY DOSE OF LAUGHTER
(Author Steve Goodier, Riches of the Heart)
I read that a child laughs 400 times a day on the average, while an
adult laughs only 15 times each day. Which is puzzling since laughter
feels so good and is so good for us!
You may know the benefits of laughter on the mind and spirit, but are
you aware of how much a good laugh can help you physically? Norman
Cousins used to say that laughter is so beneficial for
your body that it is like "inner jogging." Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic
Health Letter, March 1993) reports that laughter aids breathing by
disrupting your normal respiration pattern and increasing your
breathing rate. It can even help clear mucus from your lungs.
Laughter is also good for your heart. It increases circulation and
improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues throughout
A good laugh helps your immune system fight off colds, flu and sinus
problems by increasing the concentration of immunoglobulin A in your
saliva. And it may help control pain by raising the
levels of certain brain chemicals (endorphins). Furthermore, it is a
natural stress reliever. Have you ever laughed so hard that you
doubled over, fell off your chair, spit out your food or wet your
pants? You cannot maintain muscle tension when you are laughing!
The good news is that you are allowed more than 15 laughs a day! Go
ahead and double the dose and make it 30 times today. (You may begin
to notice immediate improvement in your relationships!)
Then double it again! You are bound to feel better, you will cope
with problems more effectively and people will enjoy being around
you. Laughter: It's just good medicine!
A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE
(Received from Coffee in the Rain)
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican
village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the
small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American
complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how
long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little
The American then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with
my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the
village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos.
I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You
should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger
boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several
boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of
selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the
processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the
product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this
small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and
eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."
The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
"But what then, senor?"
The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time
is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the
public and become very rich, you would make millions."
"Millions, senor? Then what?"
"Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where
you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a
siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings
where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
HEAVEN - IT'S A PURRRFECT PLACE
(Received from Robert Thornton)
One day St. Peter looks up from his book as a cat strolls up . . .
Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't
cause any trouble. We'll offer a gift to you of one special thing
you have always wanted."
Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my
master had, so I could lie on it."
Peter: "That's easy. . . You shall have the satin pillow after you
Later that day a group of mice appeared.
Peter: "Ah, I remember you. You were such good mice on earth. You
didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals.
Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."
The Master Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children
playing and saw them roller skate, and it was thrilling and looked
like so much fun. So may we each have some roller skates, please?"
Peter: "Granted. You shall have your roller skates."
The next day, St. Peter is making the rounds on the Streets of Gold
and sees the cat. "Well, Sir Cat . . . did you enjoy your satin
Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And dear, kind Saint Peter, that "Meals on
Wheels" thing you sent over yesterday was particularly thoughtful of
(Received fromBrent Riggs - SeriousFaith.com)
So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas
ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to
inspect your ranch for your water allocation.
The old rancher says, Okay, but don't go in that field over there.
The Water representative says, Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am
allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions
asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull
is gaining with every step.
The Rep is clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately throws
down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his
lungs . . . "Your card! Show him your card!"
Copyright © 1998 - 2008 by Stephen J. Hall - Weekly letters of
encouragement to Christians written by Stephen J. Hall unless
otherwise indicated. Notes from the Valley and Humor from the Valley
are meant to brighten your day and encourage you along the way. If
you are blessed by them, please feel free to make copies and pass
them along to others. If you have something you'd like to contribute
to a future edition, or any questions or comments, please contact us
"Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands
of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your
lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21 (NIV)