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***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - May 1, 2006 A.D. - Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?

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  • Dr. Howdy, Ph.D A.P.E., N.U.T.
    A UNC freshman opened a box of animal crackers and spread them all over her desk. What are you doing? her room- mate asked... TheRestOfTheStory!!!
    Message 1 of 1 , May 1, 2006

      A UNC freshman opened a box
      of animal crackers and spread
      them all over her desk.

      "What are you doing?" her room-
      mate asked.
       Updated frequently during the day!!!
      Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
      there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
      The orthopedic surgeon was moving to a new office,
      and his staff was helping transport many of the
      items. One staff member who was a recent UNC*
      grad sat the display skeleton in the front of his
      car, his bony arm across the back of the seat... 
      *Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
      humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
      & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
      of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
      of your choice from the list below:

      1) French university students
      2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
      3) Any accredited high school or middle school
      4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
      5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
      6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
      to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      Dear Howdy,
      Please ask your readers to pray for the families
      of those who were killed and those who were
      injured as well as for the entire Taylor University
      When You've Fallen 
      & You Can't Get Up
          So how many diets have you been on in your life? Lost count? Me, too. I think I must have gone
      on my first diet when I was about, say, six months old. If you're one of those over-blessed people who
      can eat anything you want and never gain weight, just fine. Just keep it to yourself and have some
      sympathy for the rest of us. But if you've been on a diet, then you know what it's like to blow a diet.
      You know, you've been eating just celery and tofu for the past couple of weeks, and you're getting
      lighter. Then somebody offers you a french fry. You succumb. Then you say, "Oh well, I might as
      well eat all the french fries!" Then you feel so bad about it, you say, "What's the use, I might as well
      wash it down with a milk shake while I'm at it!" An hour later, you're thinking, "If I've blown it this bad,
      I might as well order a pizza too!" With extra cheese and extra pepperoni, of course.

           You're making progress, you slip, you feel bad about slipping - so you fall farther. You start thinking,
      "What's the use after what I've done?" You give up and you maybe even end up worse off than when you
      began. That's not just a blueprint for dieting disaster. It's a blueprint for spiritual disaster.

          I call it the Cycle of Shame, and it's one of the devil's favorite tools for pulling a follower of Jesus down
      and keeping them down. You may be trapped in that Cycle of Shame even now. Or you've been there and
      you don't want to go back there. You may have fallen, but you can get up! There's so much hope for you
      in our word for today from the Word of God in Micah 7:8-10. It's about someone who has fallen but who's
      defiantly turning the tables on the enemy who brought them down.

          Here's what defiant hope sounds like: "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise.
      Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. He will bring me out into the light. I will see His righteous -
      ness. Then my enemy will see it and will be covered with shame." Notice at the beginning, it's you who are
      covered by shame because of what you've done. At the end, it's your enemy who's covered with shame because
      you have shaken off his shackles of shame, you've realized that you can't change you but the Lord can. You have
      refused to stay down, and you are defiantly determining to make the devil pay for what he deceived you into doing.
      You're going to do some serious damage to the kingdom of the one who tried to do some serious damage to you.

          Satan succeeds in keeping you down with the "What's the use?" lie when you make a fatal mistake. You focus
      on you instead of the One who died so you can be free. The Bible doesn't say, "The righteous man never falls."
      It says, "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again." (Proverbs 24:16) You don't let one sin turn into
      a hundred sins. You get up right away and you pick up where you left off growing in Christ. You bring your
      sin and your failure to Jesus, turning from it, applying the forgiveness Jesus paid for at the Cross to your sin.
      And you believe His promise about what you did, "I will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 10:17) Satan keeps
      pointing to your past because, see, it can't be changed. Jesus keeps pointing to your future because it's yet to
      be written.

          Yes, you went down. But you don't have to stay down! Jesus stands ready this very minute to pick you up,
      dust you off, bandage your wounds, and help you start running for Him again - forgiven, restored, and stronger
      than you have ever been before.      - -  Ron Hutchcraft
      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Energy Independence 
      & The War On Terror

      Just last week Osama bin Laden declared war not only on the United States,
      but on all civilization. He urged jihadists throughout the Islamic world to
      travel to Darfur in western Sudan, where the Islamic government in Khartoum
      has been massacring hundreds of thousands of Muslims. Bin Laden wants
      Islamists to go there, not to save the Muslims, but to block the efforts of
      the United Nations, NATO, and the United States to end the genocide.

      What is this madman up to? Simpy this: He wants to so destabilize the world
      that he may usher in his radical version of Islam.

      What is particularly galling to me is that we Americans are actually helping
      to finance bin Laden, thanks to our utter dependence on Middle Eastern oil.
      As oil prices soar, so do the profits of the Middle Eastern oil interests,
      some of which, according to reports, are financing bin Laden.

      How in the world will we ever stop bin Laden? The answer is by starving the
      beast: Stop sending dollars to the Middle East. That is why I was pleased by
      President Bush's announcement this week of a plan to cut imports of Middle
      Eastern oil by 75 percent by 2025. Good start, Mr. President. But we have to
      do more—much more.

      When I served President Nixon, there was a serious energy shortage. Gas
      prices rose to more than one dollar (the equivalent of four dollars and
      forty-two cents today). President Nixon demanded that the United States
      become energy independent by 1980 and opened the Alaska pipeline, which
      turned out to be a very important step. President Ford followed him, setting
      the target date for energy independence back to 1985. Jimmy Carter, who had
      to deal with another energy crisis, called achieving energy independence by
      1990 the "moral equivalent of war" and enacted a number of measures, most of
      which were later repealed during the Reagan presidency.

      In light of this history, here is what is really shocking: We are more
      dependent on Middle Eastern oil today than ever before.

      I would like to see the president and the Congress set a realistic deadline
      for energy independence and then take the drastic measures to achieve it.
      Crack down hard on the oil companies, okay—that is an easy solution for
      politicians—but at the same time open up the Alaskan oil reserves, increase
      off-shore drilling, invest resources in developing alternative energy
      sources like ethanol and wind power, force car manufacturers to increase
      fuel efficiency, build nuclear plants for energy. Experts say we could
      achieve energy independence in ten years if we really put our minds to it.

      So what's stopping us? Nothing, except the lack of political will. Any
      politician voting for these things would be defeated in the next election,
      unless, that is, there were a resurgence of political will among the
      American people, a willingness to sacrifice, like the patriotism I saw
      during World War II.

      Look, folks, the survival of Western civilization is at stake. We are up
      against a dedicated enemy who wants to destroy us and will kill innocent
      Muslims—his own people—to achieve his ends. We are in a genuine clash
      of civilizations with jihadists of the Islamic world.
         BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
      Subscribe:  Get your friends to join the 
      daily jollity/raillery by sending an e-mail to:
      Unsearchable Things
      Common is the sentiment among recent college graduates: "I went in feeling
      like I knew so much, and leave realizing how little I know."  I remember
      what this felt like, walking down the aisle to accept my diploma,
      wondering at the irony.  Yet as uncomfortable as that moment of
      recognition can be, I am convinced that the thought is an important place
      to linger. 

      Ravi Zacharias tells of being a graduate student when the new encyclopedia
      Britannica was released in its fifteenth edition.  It was a massive work
      that had taken fourteen years to produce, and he remembers being
      fascinated by the statistics: two hundred advisors, three hundred editors,
      four thousand contributors, over a hundred thousand entries, thirty-four
      million dollars, forty-three million words.  Even so, in the last pages of
      that work, one of the editors had the audacity to conclude: "Herein
      contains the entirety of human knowledge." 

      Throughout Scripture we are confronted with men and women who, having come
      in contact God, find themselves blown away by the notion that they didn't
      know all that they didn't know.  As Jacob lay dreaming, he saw God appear
      above a great ladder where He introduced Himself as the God of his
      ancestors.  Upon waking, Jacob's his first words were filled with
      astonishment: "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of
      it" (Genesis 28:16).  Hagar, the maidservant of Sarah, had a similar
      reaction after she encountered God in the desert.  Having run away from
      Sarah's abuse, Hagar was resting beside a spring when God spoke to her and
      told her to return.  Scripture imparts that she was amazed:  "And she gave
      this name to the LORD who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for
      she said, 'I have now seen the one who sees me'" (Genesis 16:13).    

      Whatever we see, there is more.  Christian philosopher Esther Lightcap
      Meek writes, "We labor under the misimpression that we see what we see,
      that seeing is believing, that either I see it or I don't." (1)  Perhaps
      seeing is not always about 20/20, and seeing God is something else

      The Scriptures introduce us to a God who makes Himself known again and
      again, whose revelation is both piecemeal and profound.  "O LORD,"
      proclaims David, "for your servant's sake and according to your own heart,
      you have done all this greatness, in making known all these great things.
      There is none like you, O LORD, and there is no God besides you, according
      to all that we have heard with our ears" (1 Chronicles 17:19,20, ESV).  He is a God
      who is well worth our efforts in learning to see.  Whether in Jacob's dream
      or in Hagar's distress, God seeks to be known and to make Himself known. 
      Says the LORD, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and
      unsearchable things you do not know" (Jeremiah 33:3).

      There is something vital in knowing that there is much that we do not
      know.  It keeps us grounded in reality.  It keeps us looking to the one
      who wills to be known.  When Job was confronted by God with the great
      thunder of 62 questions about the foundations of the world and the inner
      workings of life, he realized that he had spoken out of turn.  Confronting
      the reality of all that he did not know brought Job to a deeper certainty
      of God Himself.  "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen
      you" (Job 42:5). Might our lives echo a similar cry before the God who sees.  
                             Jill Carattini

      (1) Esther Lightcap Meek, Longing to Know: The Philosophy of Knowledge
      for Ordinary People (Grand Rapids: Brazos Press, 2003), 99.
      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
      The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
      failed to stamp the Bible out.  The French Revolution could not
      crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
      converted to Christianity).  The Communists failed to stamp it
      out with atheism and political ideology.  One might well ask why
      this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
      animosity and scorn.  The great Reformation hero John Calvin
      responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,
      they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
      reluctantly."            - Joe Boot


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,
      And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,
      Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
      And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.
        - - Isa 40:22
      The So-Called 'Gospel' of Judas
      Unmasking an Ancient Heresy

      Welcome to Holy Week, American style. Just as millions of Christians are
      preparing to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the media is once again
      out to debunk historical Christianity.

      Just last weekend I was in an airport bookstore and saw the new book counter
      filled with numerous editions of The Da Vinci Code. Then I picked up the New
      York Times, and there I was greeted with the headline on the front page that
      read, "In Ancient Document, Judas, Minus the Betrayal."

      You probably have seen the hype, including a one-hour National Geographic
      TV spectacular: After seventeen hundred years, the story goes, the long-lost
      text of the so-called "Gospel of Judas" has re-surfaced. It claims that
      Jesus secretly told Judas to betray Him; so Judas is really a good disciple.

      Well, it's not a new discovery. This "new gospel" and the heresy it
      espouses—Gnosticism—were rejected as fiction by Christian leaders
      and the Church as early as 180 A.D.  (See: Irenaeus of Lyons)

      Gnosticism was an attempt to add to Christianity an essentially Eastern
      worldview dressed up with Christian language. It was presented to the Roman
      world as the true Gospel—complete with endless mysteries that only those
      with secret knowledge could unravel. Many unsuspecting people were
      enthralled with Gnostic writings, particularly their sometimes gory and
      salacious initiation ceremonies. Christian pastors and theologians
      repeatedly rejected all forms of Gnosticism, until, by the middle of the
      third century, it had all but disappeared.

      But now it is back with a vengeance, with supposed discoveries and works
      like Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. It provides the means for Christianity's
      detractors to debunk the historical Jesus, and it certainly sells books.
      Seven million copies of The Da Vinci Code is testimony to that. Gnosticism
      has particular appeal today because of the postmodern age, which has
      rejected historical truth. So you can find God any way you wish, through
      your own group. This, of course, is the belief that is at the root of the
      spreading New Age movement.

      The danger is that we have a biblically illiterate population. People today
      don't know—maybe don't care—whether there is a difference between the Gospel
      of Judas and the Gospel of John. They are unfamiliar with the work of the
      ancient canonical councils of the Church (which rejected the Gnostic
      "gospels" time and again) or even of the basic creeds or confessions of the
      Christian Church. Sadly, people are as gullible today as ever.

      Now it is tempting to get angry at National Geographic and the liberal press
      for unleashing this fraudulent "gospel" at the beginning of the holiest week
      of the year. But don't. Instead, let's use the media attention to debunk the
      debunkers, to point out to friends that this regurgitated Gnosticism—the Da
      Vinci Code and the "gospel" of Judas included—is nothing more than
      historically unsupportable fantasy.

      Then we can point them to the knowledge that is accessible to all people
      that has been accessible to Christians for two thousand years and proven
      historically accurate. It's called the Bible.

      But whatever you do, get informed first. Come to our website or call us here
      at "BreakPoint" (1-877-322-5527*) and find some of the resources that we are
      offering. And get busy because million

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