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***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - February 2, 2006 A.D. - Please forward to your Friends...

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  • Professor Howdy
    The other day a UNC grad had her car break down. The tow truck driver charged her $95.00 to take the car to the garage less than 3 miles away...
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 2, 2006
      The other day a UNC grad had her car break down.
      The tow truck driver charged her $95.00 to take the
      car to the garage less than 3 miles away...

             Updated frequently during the day!!!

      Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
      there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
      On a recent Delta flight, a UNC student kept peering out the window.
      Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-
      tip light.  Finally, she rang for the flight attendant...

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      Dear Howdy,
      The forthcoming release of this Tom Hanks film represents both an attack
      on, and an opportunity for, evangelical faith. It behoves all Christians to
      understand the story-line of the book and film, and know how to offer a
      sensitive and positive rebuttal, and indeed use the story as a starting
      point for conversations, websites, blogs, youth talks, and much more.

      Facing the Challenge is one of several ministries who are building a range
      of apologetic pages on Da Vinci:     
      The Evidence You
              Are Loved
          Most of us don't have a friendly neighborhood blacksmith anymore. Some of us city folks
      might never see one if they didn't have them at historic sites and some old-time American
      theme parks. I'm pretty sure the first blacksmith our three- year-old granddaughter ever saw
      was the one at the park we took her to not long ago. When we stopped by the blacksmith's
      shop, we were the only ones there. Our granddaughter was pretty interested in his fire and
      how he pounded these hot, shapeless metal things into useful objects. Later, as we started
      to leave, Mr. Blacksmith stopped us. Even though he does some pretty tough work, he was
      obviously a caring man. He caught up with us because he wanted to do something special
      for our little girl - he handed her a nail that he had just made. She wouldn't let go of that nail
      for most of the rest of the day. And it's still one of her treasures.

          Our granddaughter has a reminder of a blacksmith who took a special interest in her -
      the evidence is a nail. It's hard for me to think about that without thinking of the Man who
      demonstrated His love for me with the same kind of evidence - a nail. Actually, three nails -
      the two they drove through His hands and the one they drove through His feet when they
      hung Him on a cross.

          Jesus brought back to heaven only one thing from His visit to earth - the nail prints in
      His hands and feet. They are the unarguable evidence of how very much Jesus loves you.
      I don't know what your experiences with love have been life in your life. Maybe you've been
      blessed to have lots of love over the years. You can still be missing the love you were made
      for - the love on which your eternity depends - the love of Jesus Christ. Or maybe love - or
      the absence of it - has been the source of a lot of hurt and disappointment in your life. Because
      we tend to expect from God the same kind of treatment we've gotten from humans, it just may
      be hard for you to believe that the greatest Person in the universe deeply loves you.

          Consider the nails. Consider His wounds. It was, in fact, the sight of those wounds that drove
      a man named Thomas to throw open His life to Jesus. Thomas had followed Jesus for three years.
      He had heard all the sermons, seen all the miracles. But apparently he had withheld his total com -
      mitment. When Jesus came back from the grave and appeared to all the disciples but Thomas,
      Thomas said he would not believe that Jesus was alive unless he touched the wounds from His
      death on the cross. When Jesus appeared a second time with Thomas in the room, He invited the
      doubter to come and touch the holes the nails and the spear had left. All Thomas could do was to
      fall on his knees and cry out, "My Lord and My God." (John 20:28)

          The awful punishment that Jesus submitted Himself to was, in reality, the punishment for my sin -
      for your sin. And the worst punishment wasn't what people could see. It was the Son of God being
      totally cut off from God the Father as He carried all the horror and all the hell of our sin. The certainty
      of His love is powerfully expressed in Isaiah 49:15-16, which is our word for today from the Word of God:
      "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though
      she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands." Every time
      Jesus looks at His hands, He thinks of you and me because His love for us is engraved there in the print
      of the nails.

          That's why it's so unforgivable to reject His love. You may not mean to reject Him, but if a gift is offered
      to you and you just sit there, you have rejected both the gift and the giver. Jesus is holding out to you eternal
      life in heaven; the forgiving of every sin of your life. The greatest mistake a person can make is to fail to respond
      to the life-giving love of Jesus Christ. If you've never actually given yourself to the Savior who gave His life for you,
      don't risk one more day without Him. Today tell Him, "Jesus, I am Yours."

          If you're ready to experience His love for yourself, let me encourage you to visit our website.
      You can read
      or you can listen to a simple explanation of how to be sure you've begun your relationship with Jesus.
      Or you can call for the Yours For Life booklet at 877-741-1200.*

          You know, Jesus has been reaching for you for a long time with a hand with scars that prove how much He
      loves you. He won't be reaching forever. Isn't it time you grabbed His hand?           - -  Ron Hutchcraft
      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Shifting The Blame -  
      Junk Science Strikes

      Sometimes you have to wonder just who is funding scientific studies these days.
      There has to be some explanation for all the research on bizarre subjects.

      Like the study that came out recently in the journal PERSONALITY AND INDIVIDUAL
      DIFFERENCES, which purports to show that taller women are more career-oriented
      and less motherly than short women. I kid you not. Britain's Sunday TIMES summed
      up the study this way: "The taller a woman is, the less maternal her
      personality. . . . Taller women aim for fewer children, and put off having their
      first for longer, the research found. But they set more store by a career than
      shorter women, and are more competitive."

      This is not because tall women have trouble finding dates, the researchers
      assure us. It's because tall women have more testosterone than shorter women.
      Well, they didn't actually test to see if that were the case, but they think
      it's true. Go figure.

      I think it was around this point that I really started to wonder about the

      Meanwhile another team of scientists has discovered a possible biological reason
      for infidelity among women. According to the journal HORMONES AND BEHAVIOR --
      there is such a journal -- women feel more or less attracted to their romantic
      partners according to the time of the month. It seems that women prefer
      different kinds of men at different points during their cycle, which means, says
      one researcher, that "commitment to long-term partners falters . . . [or]
      strengthens" at these particular times.

      What does all this mean? Wendell Cantrell, one of the stellar graduates of our
      Centurions program, provides this useful summary:

      "For single men -- stay away from tall women if you prefer a large brood and a
      stay-at-home mom.

      "Fathers -- you can determine the masculinity of your son-in-law by determining
      when . . . [your daughter likes] certain men.

      "Husbands -- beware of your wife's activities during the second week of her

      All of this would be hysterically funny if it were not so disturbing. You
      see, the trouble with studies like these is that they provide just one more
      opportunity for people to shift the blame for anything they do. This time,
      it lets them blame their biology.

      Remember the so-called "gay gene" study? It was eventually debunked, but that
      did not matter. The study had already been so widely publicized in the press
      that many people still believe that homosexuality is entirely a matter of

      It's possible that studies like these new ones could provide the same
      justification for adultery. Anytime a scientific study gives us a convenient
      excuse for doing what we want, we tend to latch onto it, whether the study
      is problematic or not -- or absurd like these.

      I am not saying that biology has nothing at all to do with our behavior. Of
      course it has an effect, and that effect deserves to be carefully studied like
      any other scientific subject. I am simply saying that biology is not the only
      factor, and that we need to remember that the process of civilizing our
      societies and building character involves controlling impulses, whether
      they are biologically induced or otherwise. No society can be healthy in
      which individuals do not take responsibility for their own misbehavior.

        BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
      The Nature
      Of A Snake
      Once and a while a friendship is forged that seems to surprise everyone but
      the two who are in it.  Zookeepers at Tokyo's Mutsugoro Okoku Zoo couldn't
      agree more.  Gohan and Aochan have been living side by side since October,
      at times even curling up next to one another as they sleep.  Such behavior
      is, perhaps, natural among creatures sharing habitats, except that Gohan
      and Aochan are naturally predator and prey.  Gohan is a three and a
      half inch dwarf hamster, and her companion, Aochan, is a rat snake. 
      The hamster, whose name actually means "meal" in Japanese, was
      originally given to Aochan as dinner after the snake refused to eat
      frozen mice.  But instead of dining, Aochan decided to make friends,
      and the two have shared a cage ever since.  "I've never seen anything
      like it," laughed the zookeeper.  "Gohan sometimes even climbs onto A
      ochan to take a nap on his back."

      Such a relationship is one I find fascinating in its complexity (if not an
      accident waiting to happen).  Though the friend who sent me this story
      assures me that unusual bondings have occurred throughout the animal
      kingdom without bad endings, I still find myself leery of the snake's
      intentions.  Can a snake really surrender its natural instincts to hunt?
      What happens when Gohan gets in his way or makes him mad, or when the
      zookeeper is running late feeding the reptiles?  Can the nature of a snake
      remain reversed because of a relationship?  

      In a significant prophecy of the coming Messiah and his ensuing reign,
      Isaiah describes a scene full of similarly unusual relationships:  "The
      wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the
      calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead
      them.  The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down
      together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.  The infant will play
      near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the
      viper's nest.  They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,
      for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover
      the sea" (Isaiah 11:6-9).  

      On many levels it is a scene that is unimaginable.  We would no sooner
      trust the cobra than we would trust the one who suggests we allow a child
      to play near it.  Yet the vision speaks of a dramatic change in nature
      throughout God's kingdom, where the aggressiveness and cruelty that are
      so much a part of our world will be forever changed.  We will look at the
      relationship of Gohan and Aochan and not fear the hamster's trust of the
      snake.  For good reason, we easily ascribe such a reality as something God
      has promised us one day in heaven.  There will be no more death or mourning
      or crying or pain; the wolf will live with the lamb and the leopard will
      lie down with the goat, for the old order of things will have passed away.
       I believe this is accurately an image of things to come.  But is it not
      also something more? 

      There is something about the knowledge of the LORD that causes things
      on earth to be turned upside-down-even now.  Isaiah depicts a world where
      lions and vipers will not kill; young lambs will rest peacefully beside
      predators, "for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the
      waters cover the sea" (11:9).  It is unnatural for a wolf not to harm a
      defenseless lamb or a snake not to bite the hand that invades its nest.
      Is it any more natural that you and I should be able to defy our human

      To bow before the person of Christ-in life, in prayer, in relationship -
      is to lay our lives at the feet of the one who is both Lamb and Lion. 
      To know him is to cling to the hope of transformation and the assurance
      of new life.  He alone can reverse the nature of the snake.    Jill Carattini

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      Dr. R.C. Sproul:

      “Once upon a time....” These words signal the beginning of a fairy tale,
      a story of make believe, not an account of sober history. Unlike beginning
      with the words “once upon a time,” the Bible begins with the words, “In
      the beginning God....” This statement, at the front end of the entire Bible,
      introduces the Pentateuch or the first five books of the Old Testament,
      and it sets the stage for God’s activity in linear history. From the opening
      chapters of Genesis to the end of the book of Revelation, the entire dynamic
      of redemption takes place within the broader setting of real space and time,
      of concrete history.

      The historical character of Judeo-Christianity is what markedly
      distinguishes it from all forms of mythology. A myth finds its value
      in its moral or spiritual application, while its historical reality remains
      insignificant. The twentieth century witnessed a crisis in the historical
      dimension of biblical Christianity. German theologians made a crucial
      distinction between ordinary history and what they called “salvation
      history,” or sometimes “redemptive history.” This distinction was based
      in the first instance on the obvious character of sacred Scripture, namely,
      that it is not only a record of the ordinary events of men and nations. It
      is not a mere chronicle of human activity but includes within it the
      revelation of God’s activity in the midst of history. Because the Bible
      differs from ordinary history and was called “salvation history,” it was
      a short step from there to ripping the biblical revelation out of its
      historical context altogether. No one was more important in the snatching
      of the Gospels out of history than the German theologian Rudolf Bultmann.
      Bultmann devised a new theology that he called “a theology of timelessness.”

      This theology of timelessness is not interested in the past or in the future
      as categories of reality. What counts according to Bultmann is the hic et
      nunc, the “here and now,” or the present moment. Salvation doesn’t take
      place on the horizontal plane of history, but it takes place vertically in
      the present moment or what others called “the existential moment.”
      When salvation is understood in these terms, the whole notion of linear
      history becomes basically insignificant and unimportant. The old quest for
      the historical Jesus can then be abandoned as being a fool’s errand. Again,
      for Bultmann’s existential Gospel, salvation comes directly and immediately
      from above. It comes from the vertical plane, in a moment of existential

      Oscar Cullman, the Swiss scholar, wrote strenuously combating the vertical,
      existential theology of Bultmann by doing a fascinating study of the concept
      of time itself in Scripture. He emphasized, for example, the distinction
      between two Greek words, both of which can be translated by the English
      word time. The two Greek words are kairos and chronos. Chronos refers to the
      moment-by-moment passage of time. It is the word from which English words
      like chronicle, chronology, or chronometer are derived. It refers to the
      ordinary passage of time in history. Kairos refers to a particularly
      pregnant moment in history that is of enduring significance. A kairotic
      moment is a moment that shapes the history of everything that comes after
      it. In the Old Testament, for example, the exodus was a kairotic moment.

      In the New Testament, the birth of Jesus, the cross, and the resurrection
      are all kairotic moments. The closest word we have to this in English is
      the word historic. Every event that takes place in history is historical, but
      not every event that takes place in history is deemed historic. To be
      historic it has to have special significance and special impact on life. So
      the Bible is the record of God’s historic works of redemption within the
      context of space and time. Take the Gospel and its message out of the
      context of history, and Christianity is destroyed altogether.

      Dr. R.C. Sproul is minister of preaching and teaching at Saint Andrew’s
      Chapel in Sanford, Florida, and is theologian in residence for Ligonier



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