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***Thought & Humor*** - Nov. 1, 2005 - Please Forward To Your Many Friends - Hello November

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  • Howdy Your-Friend
    A UNC student in tears called her father. What s the matter? asked the father. You gave me some bad financial advise, she said. TheRestOfTheStory!!!
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 1, 2005
      A UNC student in tears called her father.
      "What's the matter?" asked the father.
      "You gave me some bad financial advise,"
         she said.

          Updated frequently during the day!!!
      Noah was standing at the gangplank checking off the pairs of
      animals when he saw three camels trying to get on board.

      "Wait a minute!" he said. "Two each is the limit. One of you
      will have to stay behind."

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      When it Looks Like You
         Should Turn Back
      Whenever you drive into Texas, the signs say, "Don't mess with Texas." One
      reason for that is the weather in Texas! Just watch the national weather on
      any given day from spring into the fall and you're likely to see the color
      red - that's for severe thunderstorms or possible tornadoes. Our son and
      daughter-in-law and granddaughter were driving across the Texas panhandle
      last Spring, and sure enough, they drove into one of those really nasty
      weather fronts. Amarillo, Texas, was behind them, New Mexico was ahead of
      them. The sky was featuring that special shade of tornadic green. The rain
      was torrential, and the clouds were growing those little fingers that
      sometimes turn into tornadoes. Our son decided it was time to call his
      brother and see what the Internet was saying about this weather. His
      question: "Shall I keep going or turn back to Amarillo?" The answer: "Just
      keep going, man. Twenty more miles and you'll be in bright sunshine!"

      It could be that your journey right now is taking you through a very dark
      and stormy time. There's danger, there's apprehension, there's questions
      about which way to go. And turning back or bailing out looks like it may be
      the way to go. But your Father in heaven can see the whole road. And today
      He's saying to you, "Just keep going. Drive a few more miles and you'll
      start to see the sunshine!"

      The danger is that you'll turn back just before the breakthrough; just
      before the answer to your prayers. There's a vivid, real-life example of
      what that looks like in our word for today from the Word of God in Mark 14,
      beginning with verse 24. Jesus has sent His disciples on ahead of Him.
      They're crossing the unpredictable Sea of Galilee in a boat when suddenly
      their boat is being "buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it."
      "Buffeted by the waves." Does that sound like a fair description of how you
      feel right now?

      The Bible goes on to tell us that "during the fourth watch of the night
      Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him
      walking on the lake, they were terrified ... But Jesus immediately said to
      them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.' 'Lord, if it's You,' Peter
      replied, 'tell me to come to You on the water.' 'Come,' He said. Then Peter
      got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But
      when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, he cried out,
      'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.
      'You of little faith,' He said, 'why did you doubt?'"

      You started down the road you're on by faith, counting on Jesus to get you
      there. And, like Peter, the wind and the rain and the waves are brutal right
      now. So you've stopped focusing on Jesus and you started focusing on your
      fears or what you can do, and you're sinking. People criticize Peter for
      losing faith, but he's the only one who had enough faith to even get out of
      the boat! Right? But, sadly, it was only "halfway there" faith - enough
      faith to get him halfway there.

      It's not the storm that's going to sink you. It's going to be "halfway
      there" faith. If you decide what you're going to do based on the situation,
      based on what you can see, based on what you're feeling, you'll almost
      surely make a bad decision. It was Jesus who got you out of the boat in the
      first place. It was Jesus who helped you walk on water this far.And it will
      be Jesus who gets you the rest of the way there. So get your focus back on
      Jesus! His word is: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the
      proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).

      It's dark now. But don't doubt in the darkness what God told you in the
      light. He knows what you're going through, but He also knows what's ahead.
      And He's telling you, "Keep going! Before long, you'll be in the sunshine!" 

                     - -  Ron Hutchcraft

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Is It Worth It?
      Despite all denials of truth as a category, people still hunger for it and
      the real question that haunts us is not whether truth exists, but whether
      it is worth it at all.

      On August 7, 1961, a twenty-six year old Soviet cosmonaut named Gherman
      Titov became the second Soviet to orbit the earth and return safely.  Some
      time later he recounted his experience while speaking at the World's Fair.
      In triumphalistic tones Titov declared that on his excursion into space, he
      looked for God but didn't find Him.  Someone humorously quipped, "Had
      he stepped out of his spacecraft, he certainly would have."  Titov, of
      course, had moved beyond the discipline of technological gain to draw
      theological blood.  One great step for science became an immensely greater
      leap in philosophy.

      Years later on Christmas day, 1968, three American astronauts were the
      first human beings to go around the "dark" side of the moon.  They saw
      earth rise over the horizon of the moon draped in a beauteous mixture of
      blue and white, garlanded by the glistening light of the sun against the
      black void of space.  Captured by the awe of the moment, they echoed the
      only words that seemed fitting. Those words were from the first line of
      the bible: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."

      Two similar experiences of awe and splendor, yielding two diametrically
      opposed conclusions.  These two incidents carried off into space the most
      debated question on earth: Does God exist?  The answer to that question
      has a greater bearing on your life than anything else.  Personal and
      national destinies are inextricably bound to this issue. Our entire human
      frame of moral reference is determined by whether or not God exists.  Our
      purpose in life is determined by that, whether we are here by design or
      whether we are the accidental collocation of atoms.  Who we are and why
      we exist logically flows from the question of God's existence.

      The question, therefore, is not whether the pursuit of truth is worth
      it or not, for it is the only thing that is ultimately worth it.  Winston
      Churchill said the most valuable thing in the world is the truth; so
      valuable that it has often been barricaded by a bodyguard of lies. But
      we might ask, "What's wrong with a lie?"  For one, we would think it is
      morally wrong, would we not?  But how can we be morally wrong unless
      this is a moral universe?  And how can this be a moral universe unless it
      is created by God?  The intelligibility in this universe and the immense
      capacity of the moral law point us to God.

      What is more, we don't have to go into outer space to find Him.  He comes
      to you in your inner space, the inner space of your life.  Jesus said, "If
      any man comes to me, I will in no wise cast him out."  In knowing Him, you
      find truth and life.  That is worth it.        
               Ravi Zacharias

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      please call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant
      known to them.   My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only He will
      release my feet from the snare.       --Psalm 25:14-15
      My comment originally left on Betty's blog:

      You have a riveting web log
      and undoubtedly must have
      atypical & quiescent potential
      for your intended readership.
      May I suggest that you do
      everything in your power to
      honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
      Designer/Architect as well
      as your revering audience.
      As soon as we acknowledge
      this Supreme Designer/Architect,
      Who has erected the beauteous
      fabric of the universe, our minds
      must necessarily be ravished with
      wonder at this infinite goodness,
      wisdom and power.

      Please remember to never
      restrict anyone's opportunities
      for ascertaining uninterrupted
      existence for their quintessence.

      Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
      Her Letter:
      Dear Howdy,
      You are obviously unhappy with my humanism and would wish that
      I were able to acknowledge the God in whom you believe.  You describe
      him/her beautifully and I might do well to pay closer attention to the
      "honoring of that encyclopedic/omniscient Designer/Architect."  Yea
      verily ... ! However, to do so would rob me of the richness of my own
      search for meaning.  It might cause me to accept the notion that truth
      is no more than curiosity satisfied.  Life has not led me there, but instead
      has presented me with the intellect, the imagination, the willingness,
      to go it alone and the courage to do so.

      I may surely be wrong.  That's the cost of being human.  But I'm enough
      of an agnostic to believe that the God in whom you believe is capable of,
      loving enough, and all-seeing of the goodness of my intention to live a
      good life and will forgive my uncertainty and inability to act on faith, alone.

      I'll stick with Einstein, Hawking, Emerson, et al, until I have more years
      and fewer miracles to explain to myself from the standpoint of Intelligent
      Design, alone.

      Thanks for taking the time to let me know that blogging is reaching someone 
      besides my family ...


      From a Board Member to Betty:

      I read you response to Howdy and it really peaked my interest because I
      identify with you. I love to learn, especially about science and thought,
      including other philosophies and beliefs. I think that I know what I believe
      but enjoy finding differences in what others believe because it challenges
      me to self-reflect again and never grow stale or arrogant, thinking that I
      have “arrived.” For this reason, I am amazed that you actually are a sincere
      humanist who genuinely attempts to answer life’s questions; I have only met
      apathetic humanists before who genuinely attempt to ignore life’s questions
      because they are too afraid. Kudos to you! I have a question about a
      statement you made in you last email simply because I have come to a
      differing position. You wondered if the meaning of truth is reduced to that
      which only satisfies curiosity and, ther! eby, steals the joy from the
      search for meaning. From my experience the discovery of truth only satisfies
      curiosity in that it whets its insatiable desire to know truth more deeply
      (this is why I love science like I mentioned before). I believe that this is
      because we have been created with the single purpose of bringing glory to
      our loving Maker; in uncovering more and more about who He is, what He has
      made, or what He has accomplished we begin to feed the innate longing we
      have to praise Him. Of course this serves only to prompt us to further
      exploration so that we might glorify God even more.

      Thus, it is not in the means of searching that we find richness; it is in
      the ends of laying hold of that prize. If you believe that true meaning were
      found only in the search for truth then you must hold the idea that truth is
      too complex to define or to know and can be only searched for. Of course,
      to believe this is to admit that this belief is the t! ruth for which you are
      searching. And how can this be since you then would have already found
      the truth and therefore could not be searching for it anymore?

      You also mentioned that you may surely be wrong, but realize that’s the cost
      of being human. But what if you really are wrong? And what is the actual
      cost of being human? If you are right then you will die peacefully from
      enjoying a meaningful search for life’s richness, but if you are wrong then
      you have everything to lose. What if you are wrong about God overlooking
      your lifelong denial, either partial or complete, of His intensions for your
      life; what if He doesn’t forgive your uncertainty and inability to act on

      I only ask you these questions because they are always in my mind. PLEASE
      don’t think I am trying to berate you; in fact, I am genuinely curious about
      your response. This is because I am too apprehensive to rest my entire
      future after death on my own assumptions about what I think God will do,
      especially when the Bible communicates that those assumptions are incorrect.
      What do you think?


      (Married to a
      Board Member)


      "I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
      All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
      us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

      "For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. 
      The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
      falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
      so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
      shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
      --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630 
      "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
      the Bible." - President George Washington

      "The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
      power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

      "That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
      - Queen Victoria

      "If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
      the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
      love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
      in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
      but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
      no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
      bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster 
      (Founding Father)

      "The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
      - Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

      "The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant

      "It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
      The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
      - Horace Greeley  (Editor)

      "That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

      "In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
      light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

      "Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

      "So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
      to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
      citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
      many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
      - President John Quincy Adams

      "The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
      benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
      belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

      "The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
      known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

      "All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
      confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
      Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

      "There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
      any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

      "Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
      progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
      mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
      and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
      it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

      "I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
      and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
      is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
      distance separates it from all competitors."
      - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

      "Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
      due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
      a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
      - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

      "The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
      The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
      Huxley (Author & Scientist)

      "The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
      growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

      "America was born a Christian nation. America was born
      to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
      which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
      Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
      of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
      America free and pure they will make their own spirits
      free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
      --President Woodrow Wilson
      For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
      expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
      God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
      miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
      ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
      wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
      the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
            --President George W. Bush

      "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
      great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
      not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.  For this
      very  reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
      prosperity, and freedom of worship here." 
      --Patrick Henry  (
      original member of the Continental Congress)


      Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
      "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
        without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
      ~Henry Ward Beecher
      "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
      --Arnold Glasow
      "Laughter is by definition healthy."
      --Doris Lessing
      "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
      --Bette Midler
      "The human race has one really effective weapon,
        and that is laughter."
      --Mark Twain
      "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
      -- Yiddish Proverb
      "Laughter is an instant vacation."
      -- Milton Berle
      "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
      -- Victor Borge 

      To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
      heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
      to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
      time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
      time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

      NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
      directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
      domain.  If you think that we have published a joke without
      giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
      and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.


      Four important things to KNOW:

      1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
      Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
      Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
      & fall short of the glory of God.

      2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
      separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
      no charge to you) of God  (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) i

      (Message over 64 KB, truncated)
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