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And you just thought I was a "Negative" Person...

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  • strangerangers1
    Subject: And you just thought I was a Negative Person... Hell no! I m Scottish!!! Depressed Man Diagnosed as Scottish A true story from a US newspaper...
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 28, 2005
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      Subject: And you just thought I was a "Negative" Person...

      Hell no! I'm Scottish!!!

      Depressed Man Diagnosed as 'Scottish'

      A 'true' story from a US newspaper...

      Alistair McGregor, an expatriate Scottish man living in America,
      was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-
      depressants and scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when
      doctors realized he wasn't depressed at all... only Scottish.

      Mr. McGregor, a Scottish man whose characteristic pessimism and
      gloomy perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression,
      was led on a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric

      Doctors described McGregor as suffering from Pervasive Negative
      Anticipation - a belief that everything will turn out for the worst,
      whether it's trains arriving late, Scotland's chances at winning
      any international sports event or even his own prospects to get
      ahead in life and achieve his dreams. "The satisfaction Mr.
      McGregor seemed to get from his pessimism seemed particularly
      pathological," reported the doctors.

      "They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort,
      Ginseng", said Mr. McGregor. "They even told me to sit in front of a
      big light for an hour a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling
      them this was all pointless and they said it was exactly that sort
      of attitude which got me here in the first place."

      Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course
      of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable effect of which was six
      hours of speedy repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble"
      and "not too bad, really."

      Mr. McGregor had six months of therapy but seemed to mainly want to
      talk about the weather - how miserable and cold it was in winter and
      later how difficult and wet it was in summer. The doctors felt he
      wasn't responding to therapy at all and so recommended drastic
      action- namely ECT or shock treatment.

      "I was all strapped down on the table and they were about to put
      the rubber bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on
      my accent," said Mr. McGregor. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I
      think we're making a terrible mistake'."

      Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of Scottish comedy giving her an
      understanding of the Scottish psyche. "Classic comedy characters
      like Chick Murray, Will Fife and The Crankies, all hopeless cases
      with no chance of ever doing well or escaping their circumstances,"
      she explained to the baffled US medics. "In Scotland, being
      depressed to the point of suicidal is considered the norm and is not
      seen as pathological at all."

      Identifying Mr.McGregor as Scottish changed his diagnosis
      from 'clinical depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he
      was immediately discharged from hospital, with a selection of
      brightly colored leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.
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