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Converting a Bear

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  • SteveYoth@aol.com
    From galante@mcmaster.ca of the UGA Humor List. - Steve A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern
    Message 1 of 1 , May 2, 2003
      From galante@... of the UGA Humor List.
        - Steve

      A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
      the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would
      get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
      One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
      that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led
      to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would
      all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

      Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father
      O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various
      bandages, goes first.

      "Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brogue, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods
      to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from
      the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me
      und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE
      SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming
      oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

      Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
      both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone
      oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't
      sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began
      to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to
      do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD
      of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and
      DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE
      his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent
      the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

      They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
      was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and
      out of him. The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough
      is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."

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