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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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  • Donna Gore
    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? George Bush s Answer: We don t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 7, 2003
      Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

      George Bush's Answer:
      We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
      to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
      is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

      Al Gore's Answer:
      I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
      crossing the road represented the application of these two different
      functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
      greater services to the American people.

      Bill Gates' Answer:
      I have just released chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
      but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
      checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of chicken.

      Martha Stewart's Answer:
      No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
      I had standing order at the farmer's market to sell
      my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
      little bird gave me any insider information.

      Dr. Sues' Answer:
      Did the chicken cross the road?
      Did he cross it with a toad?
      Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
      But why it crossed, I've not been told!

      Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
      To die. In the rain. Alone.

      Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
      I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
      without having their motives called into question.

      Grandpa's Answer:
      In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
      told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
      for us.

      Barbara Walters' Answer:
      Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
      listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-
      warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
      molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream
      of crossing the road.

      Ralph Nader's Answer:
      The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
      pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
      the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was
      crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

      Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
      Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think
      to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
      walking around all over the place anyway?"

      Pat Buchanan's Answer:
      To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

      Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
      I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
      getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
      out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
      crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
      this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
      their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
      money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens
      to cross.

      Jerry Falwell's Answer:
      Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
      the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
      the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
      friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
      become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
      abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
      harmless phrases like "the other side.".

      John Lennon's Answer:
      Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

      Aristotle's Answer:
      It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

      Karl Marx's Answer:
      It was a historical inevitability.

      Saddam Hussein's Answer:
      This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
      dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

      Voltaire's Answer:
      I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
      death its right to do it.

      Captain Kirk's Answer:
      To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

      Fox Mulder's Answer:
      You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
      have to cross before you
      believe it?

      Scully's Answer:
      It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in

      Bill Clinton's Answer:
      I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
      chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

      The Bible's Answer:
      And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
      chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
      road, and there was much rejoicing.

      Albert Einstein's Answer:
      Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

      Sigmund Freud's Answer:
      The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
      road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

      L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
      Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
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