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Ummm!

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  • paul
    ... so ... figure ... the ... on ... repast. ... cook ... own ... center ... quantities ... would ... and ... jogging ... calories ... Then
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 31, 2004
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      The Fatitudes:
      >
      >
      >In the beginning....God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower
      >and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetable of all kinds,
      so
      >Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
      >
      >Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and
      >Krispy Kreme. And Satan said:
      >You want hot fudge with that?
      >And Man said: yes!
      >
      >And Woman said:
      >I'll have one too, with sprinkles.
      >
      >And, lo, they gained 10 pounds.
      >
      >And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the
      figure
      >that Man found so fair.
      >And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from
      the
      >cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.
      >
      >So God said:
      >Try my fresh green garden salad.
      >
      >And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast
      on
      >the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
      repast.
      >
      >God then said:
      >I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to
      cook

      >them.
      >
      >And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
      >lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak...so big that it needed its
      own
      >platter.
      >And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
      >
      >Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
      >with potassium and good nutrition.
      >Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and slicked the starchy
      center

      >into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious
      quantities

      >of salt.
      >And Man put on more pounds.
      >
      >God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
      >those extra pounds.
      >And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man
      would
      >not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed
      and
      >cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch
      jogging
      >suits.
      >
      >God then gave them lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
      calories
      >and still satisfy his appetite.
      >And Satan created McDonald's and the 99 cent double cheeseburger.
      Then
      >Satan said:
      >You want fries with that?
      >And Man replied:
      >Yes! And super size 'em!
      >And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >God sighed....and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
      >And then...Satan chuckled and created HMOs
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