- The Fatitudes:
>In the beginning....God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower
>and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetable of all kinds,
>Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.figure
>Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and
>Krispy Kreme. And Satan said:
>You want hot fudge with that?
>And Man said: yes!
>And Woman said:
>I'll have one too, with sprinkles.
>And, lo, they gained 10 pounds.
>And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the
>that Man found so fair.the
>And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from
>cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.on
>So God said:
>Try my fresh green garden salad.
>And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast
>the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following therepast.
>God then said:
>I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to
>And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
>lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak...so big that it needed its
>And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
>Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
>with potassium and good nutrition.
>Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and slicked the starchy
>into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copiousquantities
>And Man put on more pounds.
>God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
>those extra pounds.
>And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man
>not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughedand
>cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchjogging
>God then gave them lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
>and still satisfy his appetite.Then
>And Satan created McDonald's and the 99 cent double cheeseburger.
>You want fries with that?
>And Man replied:
>Yes! And super size 'em!
>And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
>God sighed....and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
>And then...Satan chuckled and created HMOs