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My living will.

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  • Mr.Natural
    LIVING WILL FORM I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 1, 2012
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      LIVING WILL FORM



      I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
      indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be
      put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass
      ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or
      lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

      If after a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for: (Check
      appropriate items): a Martini ______, a Margarita ______, a Scotch and soda
      ______, a Bloody Mary______, a beer ______, a Gin and Tonic _______, a Glass
      of Chardonnay ______, a Steak ______, Lobster or crab legs ______, the TV
      remote control ______, a bowl of ice cream ______, the sports page______,
      Sex______, or Chocolate_______, it should be presumed that I won't ever get
      any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my
      appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the
      tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans
      Jazz Funeral Band to come and do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of
      my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had or
      should've had.

      Signature:________________________Date:__________

      P.S. I hear that in Ireland there is a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients
      are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need
      embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy
      place, PLEASE pass it on.

      Amendment #1:
      Should I become incapacitated as described above, DO NOT PULL THE PLUG until
      after I have voted by absentee ballot in the November 2012 election.



      Amendment #2:

      If the plug has been pulled in violation of #1 above, transport my body to Chicago so I can still vote.

      --

       

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