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For a politician, memory loss can be good!

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  • Donna Gore
    This is from www.Borowitzreport.com, I subscribed to their daily column. Start your day with a laugh!
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 7, 2004
      This is from www.Borowitzreport.com, I subscribed to
      their daily column. Start your day with a laugh!
      >
      > Updated April 5, 2004
      >
      > CONDOLEEZZA'S BRAIN REDACTED
      >
      >
      > Painful Memories Erased Prior to Testimony
      >
      >
      > In preparation for her testimony in front of the
      > 9/11 commission this Thursday, the White House has
      > redacted the brain of National Security Adviser
      > Condoleezza Rice twenty-eight times, White House
      > spokesman Scott McClellan confirmed today.
      >
      > Doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital used an
      > experimental new procedure in which painful or
      > embarrassing memories are virtually zapped away by a
      > pinpoint laser beam in order to make the
      > twenty-eight redactions to Dr. Rice's brain.
      >
      > According to White House sources, Dr. Rice now has
      > no memory of any conversations about Osama bin
      > Laden, Saddam Hussein, Pervez Musharraf, Richard
      > Clarke, or the unmanned Predator drone.
      >
      > In addition, Dr. Rice can no longer recall anything
      > that happened in the first nine months of the year
      > 2001, the sources confirmed.
      >
      > "Her memory pretty much picks up at the point where
      > she starts doing an amazing job to protect America
      > from terrorism," one source said.
      >
      > White House spokesman McClellan denied that the
      > twenty-eight redactions were made to Dr. Rice's
      > brain in order to conceal damaging revelations that
      > might otherwise come out in her congressional
      > testimony.
      >
      > "In the two hours allotted for her testimony, it
      > would have been impossible for Dr. Rice to tell
      > everything she knows," Mr. McClellan told reporters.
      > "But now, thanks to this procedure, she knows
      > virtually nothing."
      >
      > At Bethesda Naval Hospital, doctors who performed
      > the brain-zapping procedure said that the first
      > question they asked Dr. Rice when she regained
      > consciousness was, "Who is the President of the
      > United States?"
      >
      > "She was unable to remember Dick Cheney's name," one
      > doctor said. "That's when we knew the procedure was
      > a success."
      >
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