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Re: [FT-HUMOR] Southern Baptists - My question about Hell

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  • Deborah Paar
    LOL that would have been hilarious! ... From: tigerfan158@gmail.com Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Southern Baptists - My question about Hell
    Message 1 of 28 , Oct 13, 2010
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      LOL that would have been hilarious!

      --- On Wed, 10/13/10, tigerfan158@... <tigerfan158@...> wrote:

      From: tigerfan158@... <tigerfan158@...>
      Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Southern Baptists - My question about Hell
      To: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Wednesday, October 13, 2010, 1:30 PM



      Hah!  If God loved him, he would have prevented the cave-in to start with. 
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2010 3:08 AM
      Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Southern Baptists - My question about Hell

       
       
              I heard one of the Chilean miners thank "god" upon his release. I suppose he blames him / her / it for keeping him down there so long too ? I'd like to have seen all the rescue workers wearing Planet Of The Ape masks as the miners were rescued. I've always had a strange sense of humour though.
       



    • Deborah Paar
      I believe in beer, too.  I drink to make others more tolerable.  *slugs a coldie*  Cheers! ... From: tigerfan158@gmail.com Subject:
      Message 2 of 28 , Oct 13, 2010
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        I believe in beer, too.  I drink to make others more tolerable.  *slugs a coldie*  Cheers!

        --- On Wed, 10/13/10, tigerfan158@... <tigerfan158@...> wrote:

        From: tigerfan158@... <tigerfan158@...>
        Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Grandma is a Southern Baptist
        To: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
        Date: Wednesday, October 13, 2010, 1:29 PM



        My brother-in-law (I don't claim him) owned a small used car lot in Houghton Lake. He is a good Jehovah's Witness and hasn't spoken to me in 25 years because I left his faith.  Now for the million dollar question:  How can a Jehovah Witness Elder sell used cars and never tell a lie?
         
        I believe in beer. It makes bad times good, ugly women pretty, and doesn't care if you fart.
         
        ----- Original Message -----
        Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 8:17 PM
        Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Grandma is a Southern Baptist

         
        Yea Michigan gets pretty hot.  I was born in Detroit.  My parents used to own a business up in Houghton Lake and I used to hang around this yoga camp called Song Of The Morning Ranch up in the Pigeon River Forest.

        On Mon, Oct 11, 2010 at 9:26 PM, <tigerfan158@...> wrote:
         
        Thanks for the information about Hell.  As a matter of fact, it was hotter than Hell in Michigan this summer.  I told my wife we are heading to Florida for the winter again.  She replied; "Hell yes!  Let's get the Hell out of the cold damn state."  I replied; "It sounds like a Hell of a good idea to me!  Let's pack the damn car and go like Hell."
         
        As an afterthought, I was once a member of a cult which didn't believe in a hot Hell. Now I don't believe in anything - but myself.  For many years, religions have backed away from the silly Hell scare, but apparently their members are leaving so they want to scare the Hell into them to fill churches.
         
         
        ----- Original Message -----
        Sent: Monday, October 11, 2010 8:20 PM
        Subject: [FT-HUMOR] Grandma is a Southern Baptist

         
        Clearly, Grandma believes that her daughter and son-in-law are facing an eternity of suffering and punishment in the afterlife due to their non-Southern Baptist affiliation. So, when she came out to visit last week, she gave us two books: 23 Minutes in Hell and Hell: Separate Truth from Fiction and Get Your Toughest Questions Answered, both by Bill Wiese, who claims to have spent some time there and didn't care for it. According to the front cover, 'Hell' addresses the following: Why would a loving God send people to Hell? Will you really go there by default? Just how bad will it be? And, what else do I need to know? The table of contents of both books is worth a read.

        These books are essentially travel brochures for Hades. Dad thinks it's funny. Mom is a little bummed about it.

        Anyway, just sharing some crazy.

        all 6 comments
        sorted by:
        best

        Seems like a nice place to me...

        * permalink

        I ride my bike through there all the time. Not nearly as warm as one would think.

        * permalink
        * parent

        They've got an ice cream shop, a bar, and a river to go canoeing in.

        In the winter there's cross country skiing, a bar, and pond hockey.

        * permalink
        * parent

        All kinds of practical information in 23 Minutes in Hell. Such as...

        Where is hell located?

        Do you have a body in hell?

        Are there children in hell?

        Are there prison cells and bars in hell?

        Dealing With the Demons of Hell.

        Are there demons in hell?

        Do demons have great strength?

        Can demons torment people on Earth?

        Can demons torment people in hell?

        * permalink

        That is both disturbing and hilarious.

        * permalink

        That's awesome. Does either of the books contain a map to the different rides/events like they give you at Six Flags? Seriously, those are a life saver.

        * permalink





      • NoGoodGods@aol.com
        In a message dated 13/10/2010 16:46:48 Pacific Daylight Time,writes: My brother-in-law (I don t claim him) owned a small used car lot in Houghton Lake. He is
        Message 3 of 28 , Oct 14, 2010
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          In a message dated 13/10/2010 16:46:48 Pacific Daylight Time,writes:
          My brother-in-law (I don't claim him) owned a small used car lot in Houghton Lake. He is a good Jehovah's Witness and hasn't spoken to me in 25 years
                            Oh that all witnesses were that good !
        • NoGoodGods@aol.com
          tigerfan158@gmail.com writes: All I can contribute is this: When I got real sick this summer, I asked my wife; What should I do? She replied; Go into the
          Message 4 of 28 , Oct 14, 2010
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             tigerfan158@... writes:
            All I can contribute is this:  When I got real sick this summer, I asked my wife; "What should I do?"
             
            She replied; "Go into the light."
                      Were you suffering from Vitamin D deficiency ?
          • kanawah
            sounds like grandma needs some serious psychatric help
            Message 5 of 28 , Oct 14, 2010
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              sounds like grandma needs some serious psychatric help

              --- In FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com, "Mr.Natural" <natural.mr642@...> wrote:
              >
              > Clearly, Grandma believes that her daughter and son-in-law are facing an eternity of suffering and punishment in the afterlife due to their non-Southern Baptist affiliation. So, when she came out to visit last week, she gave us two books: 23 Minutes in Hell and Hell: Separate Truth from Fiction and Get Your Toughest Questions Answered, both by Bill Wiese, who claims to have spent some time there and didn't care for it. According to the front cover, 'Hell' addresses the following: Why would a loving God send people to Hell? Will you really go there by default? Just how bad will it be? And, what else do I need to know? The table of contents of both books is worth a read.
              >
              > These books are essentially travel brochures for Hades. Dad thinks it's funny. Mom is a little bummed about it.
              >
              > Anyway, just sharing some crazy.
              >
              >
              > all 6 comments
              > sorted by:
              > best
              >
              >
              >
              > Seems like a nice place to me...
              >
              > * permalink
              >
              >
              > I ride my bike through there all the time. Not nearly as warm as one would think.
              >
              > * permalink
              > * parent
              >
              >
              > They've got an ice cream shop, a bar, and a river to go canoeing in.
              >
              > In the winter there's cross country skiing, a bar, and pond hockey.
              >
              > * permalink
              > * parent
              >
              >
              > All kinds of practical information in 23 Minutes in Hell. Such as...
              >
              > Where is hell located?
              >
              > Do you have a body in hell?
              >
              > Are there children in hell?
              >
              > Are there prison cells and bars in hell?
              >
              > Dealing With the Demons of Hell.
              >
              > Are there demons in hell?
              >
              > Do demons have great strength?
              >
              > Can demons torment people on Earth?
              >
              > Can demons torment people in hell?
              >
              > * permalink
              >
              > That is both disturbing and hilarious.
              >
              > * permalink
              >
              >
              > That's awesome. Does either of the books contain a map to the different rides/events like they give you at Six Flags? Seriously, those are a life saver.
              >
              > * permalink
              >
            • Claude Kadiddlehopper
              LMFAO ROTF LCOB!!!!!!!!!!!11 ... mas ________________________________ From: NoGoodGods@aol.com To: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com Sent: Wed,
              Message 6 of 28 , Oct 24, 2010
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                LMFAO ROTF LCOB!!!!!!!!!!!11
                :-D :-D :-D :-D
                mas


                From: "NoGoodGods@..." <NoGoodGods@...>
                To: FT-HUMOR@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Wed, October 13, 2010 3:08:39 AM
                Subject: Re: [FT-HUMOR] Southern Baptists - My question about Hell

                 

                 
                        I heard one of the Chilean miners thank "god" upon his release. I suppose he blames him / her / it for keeping him down there so long too ? I'd like to have seen all the rescue workers wearing Planet Of The Ape masks as the miners were rescued. I've always had a strange sense of humour though.
                 

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