>'Virgin' Mary Loses Custody of Baby Jesus. Jerusalem Morals Court
>Sends Week-old Boy to Egyptian Foster Home. Illiterate 15-year-
>old 'Virgin' Mother Unfit Parent, Rabbis Rule. Mary Ordered to
>Cleave to Carpenter Husband Joseph, Have Legit Kids, Hope for Jesus's
>Return at Puberty.
>Jerusalem, Jan. 2nd.--A verdict in 'The People vs. Mary' case was
>handed down in Morals Court yesterday, placing week-old baby Jesus in
>custody of an Egyptian astrologer and his wife who are licensed
>The couple, who have as many as fifty foster children of all
>ethnicities in care at their expansive Nile plantation at any one
>time, will school the Hebrew boy in many ancient sciences, including
>COBOL, that his parents of record, the so-called 'Virgin Mary' and
>her sleepover the Living Breath of the Holy Spirit, cannot provide.
>The Living Breath of the Holy Spirit itself has historically
>abandoned its young female companions to their fates, with the recent
>Bethlehem incident no exception to this distressing practice.
>Nationwide, Jewish moms who might not have been particularly
>protective of their nubile daughters recently formed the group 'Moms
>Against Spirit Inception' and began distributing literature to girls
>over ten years of age urging that they 'Just say No!' to G-d.
>Results of that campaign have been gratifying, with the troubling
>exception of the illiterate shepherd girl Mary, who only a week ago
>stated that her manger-born son Jesus was the result of her sleepily
>yielding to pleas from the Living Breath of the Holy Spirit to become
>the earthly vessel of a 'Saviour' of mankind.
>'If I knew then what I know now,' said Mary following yesterday's
>court order, 'I would Just say No! to any bedside Holy Spirit and
>call on my father to beat the crap out the intruder.'
>In the opinion of many longtime Jewish Moms, a valuable lesson
>learned, too late.
>Mary's week-old son Jesus appeared happy with the court's order, but
>offered no comment other that a bubbly 'Skwurrchhh' when his feet
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