Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

A Priest and his bicycle...

Expand Messages
  • André Isidoro Fernandes Esteves
    A Priest and his bicycle... There were two catholic priests who used to meet sunday morning, on the road. They were expected to give mass in different churches
    Message 1 of 4 , Jul 10, 2007
    • 0 Attachment
      A Priest and his bicycle...

      There were two catholic priests who used to meet sunday morning, on the road.

      They were expected to give mass in different churches and would travel between
      their obligations using a bike.

      The younger one, father O'Hara was a avid bicyclist and took his bike
      everywhere. The more elderly priest, Monsignor Abelard was beginning to lack
      the stamina to travel by bicycle but kept going for father O'Hara had
      convinced him of the healthy benefits of bicycling...

      So, they would meet every sunday travelling on bike and chatted for some
      minutes, exchanging pleasentries, parish stories and the week's diocese
      gossip...

      One sunday, to the surprise of Monsignor Abelard, Father O'Hara appears
      running on foot!

      - Father O'Hara! Why are you running? Where is your bike?
      - Oh! Dear Monsignor.. - said father O'Hara while breathing hard - It appears
      that someone in my parish has stolen my bicycle...
      - For Heaven's sake?! Who could do such a diabolical thing to a man of god?
      Wouldn't he know that you need your bicycle to go around in your priestly
      duties?
      - Indeed, Monsignor, that is what baffles me.. All my parishoners know that i
      travel on bike between churches! Who would do such a thing?!
      - Well... Then I may have an suggestion for you. I have found, several times,
      during mass, in my church, the thieves who were taking the money from the
      offertory box.
      - During Mass? How did you do it?
      - Well, it is very simple. Just prepair a sermon on the ten commandments. And
      in during the sermon, when you reach the seventh commandment - "Thou shalt
      not steal" stop for a while and look very intensely to your parishoners. The
      culprit will look away from you, as he remembers his misdeeds...
      - That sounds a good idea! I will give it a try.

      Next sunday, Monsignor Abelard and Father O'Hara meet again. This time, father
      O'Hara is travelling by bicycle.

      - Father O'Hara!! I see you got your bicycle back! The sermon worked
      beautifully!! - said Monsignor Abelard.
      - Well... Almost... - replied Father O'Hara
      - Almost?? Why?
      - Well.. I prepared the sermon as you told me. I began reciting the ten
      commandments, and began looking very intensely to my parishoners, then i
      reached the sixth commandment and... remembered where i had left my bike...


      Enjoy,

      André Esteves - atheist from Portugal, Europe

      P.S-> The sixth Commandment (catholic numbering) is: - Thou shalt not commit
      adultery...
    • John Fugelsang
      So he was a married priest? ... [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      Message 2 of 4 , Jul 10, 2007
      • 0 Attachment
        So he was a married priest?


        On Jul 10, 2007, at 1:01 PM, André Isidoro Fernandes Esteves wrote:

        > A Priest and his bicycle...
        >
        > There were two catholic priests who used to meet sunday morning, on
        > the road.
        >
        > They were expected to give mass in different churches and would
        > travel between
        > their obligations using a bike.
        >
        > The younger one, father O'Hara was a avid bicyclist and took his bike
        > everywhere. The more elderly priest, Monsignor Abelard was beginning
        > to lack
        > the stamina to travel by bicycle but kept going for father O'Hara had
        > convinced him of the healthy benefits of bicycling...
        >
        > So, they would meet every sunday travelling on bike and chatted for
        > some
        > minutes, exchanging pleasentries, parish stories and the week's
        > diocese
        > gossip...
        >
        > One sunday, to the surprise of Monsignor Abelard, Father O'Hara
        > appears
        > running on foot!
        >
        > - Father O'Hara! Why are you running? Where is your bike?
        > - Oh! Dear Monsignor.. - said father O'Hara while breathing hard - It
        > appears
        > that someone in my parish has stolen my bicycle...
        > - For Heaven's sake?! Who could do such a diabolical thing to a man
        > of god?
        > Wouldn't he know that you need your bicycle to go around in your
        > priestly
        > duties?
        > - Indeed, Monsignor, that is what baffles me.. All my parishoners
        > know that i
        > travel on bike between churches! Who would do such a thing?!
        > - Well... Then I may have an suggestion for you. I have found,
        > several times,
        > during mass, in my church, the thieves who were taking the money from
        > the
        > offertory box.
        > - During Mass? How did you do it?
        > - Well, it is very simple. Just prepair a sermon on the ten
        > commandments. And
        > in during the sermon, when you reach the seventh commandment - "Thou
        > shalt
        > not steal" stop for a while and look very intensely to your
        > parishoners. The
        > culprit will look away from you, as he remembers his misdeeds...
        > - That sounds a good idea! I will give it a try.
        >
        > Next sunday, Monsignor Abelard and Father O'Hara meet again. This
        > time, father
        > O'Hara is travelling by bicycle.
        >
        > - Father O'Hara!! I see you got your bicycle back! The sermon worked
        > beautifully!! - said Monsignor Abelard.
        > - Well... Almost... - replied Father O'Hara
        > - Almost?? Why?
        > - Well.. I prepared the sermon as you told me. I began reciting the
        > ten
        > commandments, and began looking very intensely to my parishoners,
        > then i
        > reached the sixth commandment and... remembered where i had left my
        > bike...
        >
        > Enjoy,
        >
        > André Esteves - atheist from Portugal, Europe
        >
        > P.S-> The sixth Commandment (catholic numbering) is: - Thou shalt not
        > commit
        > adultery...
        >
        > =


        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • André Isidoro Fernandes Esteves
        ... No, he was banging a married woman... That tipped him off... Although if i recall catholic theology makes nuns married with christ and, i believe, there
        Message 3 of 4 , Jul 10, 2007
        • 0 Attachment
          A Wednesday 11 July 2007 01:32:52, John Fugelsang escreveu:
          > So he was a married priest?
          >
          No, he was banging a married woman... That tipped him off...

          Although if i recall catholic theology makes nuns married with christ and, i
          believe, there is an analogue for some priests (depends with the religious
          order vows or something like that.

          Cheers,

          André
        • Freya
          It takes two to tango! Twas the dame who was hitched.
          Message 4 of 4 , Jul 10, 2007
          • 0 Attachment
            It takes two to tango! 'Twas the dame who was hitched.

            At 08:32 PM 10-07-07, John Fugelsang wrote:

            >So he was a married priest?
          Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.