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  • strangerangers1
    Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa s right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil s got a point about the machinery of
    Message 1 of 3 , Oct 31, 2006
      Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America
      being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil's got a point about the
      machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.
      -Homer The Simpsons: The Crepes of Wrath The Crepes of Wrath
      Script
      We Welcome Other Faiths (just kidding)
      -Church Sign The Simpsons: Co-Dependent's Day alt.tv.simpsons
      Well huzzah, huzzah. I'll just throw back my legs and pollute my
      britches with delight.
      -Mr. Burns The Simpsons, C.E. D'OH!
      My polite indignation knows no bounds!
      -Apu The Simpsons
      It's craptacular.
      -Bart Simpson The Simpsons
      Time to repress another memory.
      -Bart Simpson The Simpsons
      Fall into the flavor hole.
      -Buzz Cola slogan. The Simpsons Springfield.ru
      Won't somebody please think about the children?
      -Helen Lovejoy The Simpsons
      Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons
      I admit it, I screwed up. I won't feel guilty until I can put a
      human face on this.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons
      I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved
      there's no god.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons
      Who made you Judge Judy and executioner?
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons
      Uh oh, here comes the Gospel according to puke.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Co-Dependent's Day
      This inner peace stuff is tough on the ol' coconut.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Homer Says
      I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha - I love you all!
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Homer Says
      It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Homer Says
      Do I know what "rhetorical" means?!
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Homer Says
      No offense Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you musta
      been out taking a whizz.
      -Homer Simpson The Simpsons Homer Says
      I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind
      them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in rounding
      up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
      -Kent Brockman The Simpsons TV Tome - Deep Space Homer
      The years I lobbied to be treated as an adult have blown up in my
      face.
      -Lisa Simpson The Simpsons
      Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose Smithers,
      we're going in.
      -Mr. Burns The Simpsons
      I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand.
      -Springfield power plant worker The Simpsons
      Born Free, Then Caged
      -Springfield Wild Animal Park The Simpsons Screaming Yellow
      Honkers
      Dig your own grave and save!
      -Troy McLure video The Simpsons
      This is the west, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the
      legend.
      -Maxwell Scott The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance Liberty
      Valance Quotes
      You know those mornings that you just can't get out of bed, and you
      call in sick, if you had a job.
      -Bruce McCulloch The Kids in the Hall The Terrier Song
      "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who
      would subdue us. Not just pretty words.
      -Morticia The Addams Family credo.
      Best viewed with telnet to port 80.
      -some image gallery Telnet is one of the oldest network
      protocols. Shane's Image Gallery
      Suck out the poison. Quick.
      -Weebl Talking to Bob after he got bit by a cow. Weebl and
      Bob: Cows
      If you got time to lean, you got time to clean.
      -Management Statment usually directed at mimimum wage workers.
      Mission Accomplished
      -George W Bush Stated at the end of major combat operations
      in Iraq May 1, 2003. Mission Accomplished Speech
      So I met a guy today named Joe.... He said, by allowing businesses
      to expense up to $75,000, it means somebody is more likely to buy a
      copying machine, or in this case, an architectural fancy machine.
      -George W Bush St. Louis, Jan. 22 BartCop
      You are a blinding brilliant light from heaven.
      -Will Ferrell as James Lipton SNL parody of "Inside the
      Actor's Studio" SNL Transcripts
      From your kitchen, to your piehole. From your piehole, to your
      poopshoot.
      -Maya Rudolph as D. Versace SNL Commercial for 'Donetella
      Pockets' SNL Reviews
      Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.
      -Bart Simpson Sittng under a tree by a creek during school.
      The Boy Who Know Too Much
      Oh, I'll stop sucking. Later.
      -Stark Richdale, Megatronics Simpsons Ep 1410, C.E. D'oh!
      Woah! Hey! It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
      -Captain Murphy Sea Lab 2012 Sea Lab 2012 Quotes
      I wish I had a dollar for how happy I feel.
      -Mel Brooks Said at an acceptance speech honoring him.
      Wikipedia: Mel Brooks
      Two tears in a bucket, mother fuck it.
      [colloquialism] Rough translation, "Shit happens, but we
      carry on."
      Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.
      -Sarah Morton Repeating a favorite saying of her book
      publisher. The Swimming Pool Quotes
      Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the
      illiteracy level of our children are appalling.
      -George W Bush Remarks by the President to the U.S.
      Conference of Mayors The White House Website
      A nightmarish Orwellian dystopia of forced conformity.
      -Ed Helmsley, The Daily Show Referring to a loyalty oath
      enforced by the Bush campaign.
      No point in steering now.
      -Doug McKenzie Realizing his brakes have been cut. Tom's
      Strange Brew Quotes
      Don't ameliorate, defenestrate.
      -Trixie Rather than make it better, throw it out the window.
      Trixie's User Page
      I am your infant overlord. Surrender now or I'll poop on your lap.
      -Stewie Griffin Random quote from the Official Family Guy
      Website Family Guy
      Sadly, now there can be but one outcome.
      -Darrell Hammond Quoting the nature channel when a weakened
      animal strays from the pack.
      Just making sure we're all petting the same dog.
      -Junkmaster Proposed replacment for 'Making sure we're all on
      the same page.'
      And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and
      listen to what I have to say.
      -George W Bush President Holds Press Conference The White
      House Website
      Powered by velleity.
      -Junkmaster Powered by an urge or desire too slight to compel
      one into action. Dictionary.com
      F:\ .exe
      -hairy_axe_wound Posted to the Pie Board User Page for
      hairy_axe_wound
      Thank you for not discussing the outside world.
      -Sign Posted outside the Springfield Retirement Community.
      Simpsons Archive
      When you're a one man band, nobody gets hurt.
      -Phil Harman Playing Frank Sinatra SNL Transcripts
      Each share evokes a homey sophistication and a pantload of East
      Hampton class.
      -Martha Stewart Played by Ana Gasteyer of SNL
      F Censorship
      -Bonnie McFarlane One Night Stand: Bonnie McFarlane HBO: One
      Night Stand
      Uh huh. OK. Hmm. Well, do you have any idea when you will release it
      from prison?
      -GYWO Players On the phone with Fidel Castro about a
      lost 'Book of Virtues'. Get Your War On pt. 24
      Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take
      a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
      -Lawrence Office Space IMDB Office Space Quotes
      I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could
      be.
      -Peter Gibbons Office Space IMDB Office Space Quotes
      Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come
      to.
      -Bill Lee Naked Lunch Naked Lunch Memorable Quotes
      The Zone takes care of its own.
      -Bill Lee Naked Lunch Naked Lunch Quotes
      Sorry, We are Open
      -Sign in Cabo San Lucas. Must be a language thing.
      Dribbleglass Images
      What we call evil is simply ignorance bumping its head in the dark.
      -Henry Ford March 16, 1930
      Too many Divas, not enough stage.
      [colloquialism] Loose translation, "The egos involved are
      too big for the space allotted."
      The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small
      nations like prostitutes.
      -Stanley Kubrick June 5, 1963
      We love pie...
      -Juul It's true. Juul
      I believe the children are our future, unless we stop them now!
      -Homer Simson Interviewing to be a guard for a juvenile
      prison.
      Touch him! Love him! Liebe mein affe-mienke!
      -Dieter Interviewing Karl-Heinz Shelkar on the show
      Sprockets. SNL Transcripts: Sprockets
      The Site: http://www.milkandcookies.com/ is categorized by N2H2 as:
      Tasteless/Gross, Jokes, Profanity.
      -N2H2 Internet filtering software company. N2H2 URL Checker
      Sir, we've tried everything else to get your computer to work. I am
      a afraid there is only one solution left. Reboot with your pants down.
      -Matt M. He would mute the phone and say this when we worked
      in Tech Support.
      For four years George W. Bush has used the power of words to
      overcome insurmountable facts.
      -The Daily Show Skit George W. Bush: Words Speak Louder than
      Actions The Daily Show
      Interesting. No wait, the other thing: tedious.
      -Bender Futurama Jurassic Bark
      Mind numbingly interesting.
      -Bender Futurama Love and Rocket
      Knowing which pickup lines fizzle, and which ones sizzle, keeps us
      on the cutting edge of flirtation technology.
      -Gwen, CEO of Romaticorp Futurama Love and Rocket
      Monday Monkey lives for the weekend.
      -Leela Futurama The Cryonic Woman
      All power to the engines.
      -Members of the Church of Trek Futurama Where No Fan Has Gone
      Before
      In a few moments the power of ten billion black holes will smush
      Bender and me together into a beautiful eternal quantum singularity.
      -Planet Express Ship Futurama Love and Rocket
      Not a substitute for human interaction.
      -Tagline Futurama The Cryonic Woman
      For your glory walks hand in hand with your doom.
      -Thetis From the movie Troy. Memorable Quotes from Troy
      When diet and exercise isn't enough, doctor-prescribed medications
      may be warranted.
      - From an article on hypertension. Thrifty Foods
      My Other Car is your Ass
      -Vice Magazine From a list of made up porn titles. Vice
      Magazine: Skinema
      I oppress myself, so I deconstruct myself.
      -Larry Wall Freak and creator of the Perl programming
      language. Perl State of the Onion 2003
      Policy makers take data. They interpret threat. They assess risk.
      They put urgency behind it, and sometimes it doesn't uniquely comport
      with every word of an intelligence estimate.
      -CIA Director George J. Tenet Explaining Iraq war
      intelligence to the Senate Armed Services Committee. Guerrilla News:
      March 9, 2004
      Do not insert in ear canal.
      -Justin Warner Excerpt from an essay comprised completely of
      disclaimers. The Big Jewel: Disclaimer
      For external use only.
      -Justin Warner Excerpt from an essay comprised completely of
      disclaimers. The Big Jewel: Disclaimer
      Eye irritant.
      -Justin Warner Excerpt from an essay comprised completely of
      disclaimers. The Big Jewel: Disclaimer
      This product is not intended for the prevention of pregnancy or
      sexually transmitted diseases.
      -Justin Warner Excerpt from an essay comprised completely of
      disclaimers. The Big Jewel: Disclaimer
      The holidays are all about texture, color and luxury.
      -Carson End of show tip from A Very Queer Eye Holiday
      episode. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
      This cult thing is just a side gig for me. I have a life, asshole!
      -Manic Doomed Planet Watch Doomed Planet Online
      First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She
      was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying
      the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of
      life transformed her.
      -Donnie Discounting a Smurf sexual fantasy proposed by a
      friend. Donnie Darko Quotes
      60% of the time it works all the time.
      -Brian Fantana Describing the effectiveness of his special
      cologne. Wikiquote: Anchorman
      Maybe they [strippers] can shake their asses to end obesity. The
      slogan would be "Don't Masticate, Masturbate".
      -Ellen Cleghorn Describing how stippers could be used for
      good, not evil. Tough Croud with Colin Quinn
      Ain't nothing cuter than a fat country baby eatin' peaches off a
      hard wood floor.
      -Amy Poehler as Earline Oliver Country Roses Skit SNL
      Transcripts
      Sweet, sweet memories of my mama boiling corn.
      -Amy Poehler as Phoebe Lynn Country Roses Skit SNL Transcripts
      I just want to make sure we are all shuffling slack jawed in the
      same direction.
      -John Stewart Commentary from The Daily Show. The Daily Show
      Check out our 20 page spread of women in subservient positions for
      no reason. It troubles us morally, but it moves product.
      -Jon Magazine Celebrity driven vanity magazine. The Daily Show
      And, you know, the monkey's just [French accent] 'I mock you with my
      monkey pants.' And then there's a big coup at the zoo.
      -Oz Buffy the Vampire Slayer BuffyGuide.com
      All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
      -Oz Buffy the Vampire Slayer BuffyGuide.com
      L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons. (Translation: The hippo stole his
      pants.)
      -Willow Buffy the Vampire Slayer Proof that Marti likes
      Monkeys
      So, is she screwing up her grades again? Because she's not the
      sharpest apple in the barrel.
      -Cassie's Dad Buffy the Vamiper Slayer 'Help' Transcript
      This girl isn't just dealing [with death], she's giving death a
      long, sloppy word-kiss. She has a yen for the big dirt-nap.
      -Xander Buffy the Vamiper Slayer 'Help' Transcript
      This is my happening and it freaks me out!
      -Ronnie (Z-Man) Barzell Beyond the Valley of the Dolls IMDb
      Quotes for BtVotD
      [After the T.V. has been stolen] This sucks more than anything
      that's ever sucked before.
      -Butt-head Beavis and Butt-head Do America
      [Eight M-16 assault rifles pointed at him] This is the coolest thing
      I have ever seen.
      -Butt-head Beavis and Butt-head Do America
      Sir, I run Hullabalooza's pageant of the transmundane -- the freak
      show.
      -Hullabalooza Manager Asking Homer if he wants to join the
      show catching cannon balls to the gut. Homerpalooza
      We're here to take your pornography and sodomize our vast
      imaginations.
      -Ignignokt Aqua Team Hunger Force Osirisani Quotes
      Being vice president has actually feuled my blackened soul, allowing
      me to gorge vampire-like on the bloody nectar of unlimited power.
      -Dick Cheney apparently paraphrased by John Stewart on The
      Daily Show The Daily Show
      I'm on a huge wispy rhino fart.
      -Unknown Anagram of "Information Superhighway" BSD.org
      Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
      -Steven McCrosky Airplane! Airplane! Quotes
      Be afraid, be very afraid.
      -Wednesday Addams Addams Family Values Addams Family Values
      Quotes
      In a minute, we're going to get to some really great potato
      recipes.. but right now, Teri, I'm gonna fly down your throat and
      into the universe that lives inside all of us.
      -The Delicious Dish A mushroom expert sends the girls on a
      self-induced high. SNL Transcripts
      Your daily palliative measure.
      - 1 : to reduce the violence of 2 : to cover by excuses and
      apologies 3 : to moderate the intensity of Dictionary entry for:
      palliate
      The rest is silence.
      -Hamlet 'Hamlet', Act V, Scene II. William Shakespeare
      Hoist by our own petard.
      [colloquialism] "victimized or hurt by one's own scheme"
      Webster's Dictionary
      Lick my chakra.
      -Lords of Acid "Lick My Chakra" Lords of Acid
      perseveration. perseveration. perseveration.
      - definition: perseveration
      Make pies, not sense.
      - SpawnOfThrawn
      No Hat. No Underwear. No Problem.
      -A sign in Andy's dream. Mission Hill
      Even the slight tingling feels wonderful--and lets you know it's
      working ... like Pixie Dust in Never Never Land to look young forever!
      -Ad for face cream. IGIA 30-Second FaceLift
      Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of
      9 and 11 A.M. daily.
      -Athens hotel sign GNU Foreign Signs
      Drop your trousers here for best results.
      -Bangkok dry cleaner sign GNU Foreign Signs
      Instructions: usage known.
      -Black pepper instructions Things People Said
      When I've learned enough to really live I'll be old enough to die.
      -Bobby Bare When I've Learned... Lyrics
      Jesus loves me. But, I just want to be friends.
      -Bumper Sticker
      Please keep out of children.
      -Butcher knife warning Things People Said
      Look lady, you're tripping balls on some bad acid right now, you
      need to pull yourself together.
      -Captain Lunatic Upright Citizen's Brigade
      Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
      -Carl Gustav Jung Aphorisms Galore
      Some semiotic symbols for you to deconstruct.
      -Colin Quinn Tough Crowd wirh Colin Quinn
      The perfect blend of flavor and heat.
      -Common claim on hot sauces.
      Loading...
      -Computer
      I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
      -Destiny's Child Bootylicious Lyrics
      War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
      -George Orwell 1984
      Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
      -Hand-held massaging device Things People Said
      The most common side effects with CLARINEX® (desloratadine) Tablets
      5mg were similar to sugar pill, including sore throat, dry mouth and
      fatigue.
      -Important Safety Information CLARINEX®
      Beware of people who dislike cats.
      -Irish Proverb Kitty Cat Quotes
      We can help you with our pleasure.
      -Japanese advertisement Engrish.com
      Do you like bowling? Let's play bowling. Breaking down the pins and
      getting hot communication.
      -Japanese bowling alley Engrish.com
      Push this button in case anything happens.
      -Japanese elevator sign Engrish.com
      For indoor and outdoor use only.
      -Japanese product tag Engrish.com
      We serve people with tasty things.
      -Japanese sign Engrish.com
      Not to be used for other use.
      -Japanese warning label Engrish.com
      Is that roof high enough... or does it need to be raised?!
      -Johnny Black People Love Us!
      What do you meme?
      -Junkmaster
      Are you my Dada?
      -Junkmaster
      We do the surfing, so you don't have to.
      -Junkmaster
      Painless Fun (formerly Painful Fun)
      -Junkmaster
      We're not curing cancer.
      -Junkmaster
      More opinions than good sense.
      -Junkmaster
      URLs Gone Wild!!!
      -Junkmaster
      God's favorite website.
      -Junkmaster
      Highbrow. Lowbrow. Unibrow.
      -Junkmaster
      Short attention span theater.
      -Junkmaster
      Pie. It's what's for dinner.
      -Junkmaster
      Somewhere between apoplectic and apathetic.
      -Junkmaster
      Weird to your mother.
      -Junkmaster
      Check us out on the web at MilkandCookies.com!
      -Junkmaster
      Innovative solution provider for building a strong value proposition.
      -Junkmaster
      Following false idols is my god given right.
      -Junkmaster
      Ask about our faith-based erectile dysfunction treatment.
      -Junkmaster
      Crazy like a monkey like a fox.
      -Liz It's All Relative
      It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't
      trust whitie.
      -Lois Family Guy Quotes-Dammit Janet
      Coming soon to this location: charming ruins.
      -May 1968 Graffiti Bureau of Public Secrets
      Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
      -Midol PMS relief tablets Things People Said
      Nothing but Net.
      -N.B.A.
      Keepin' it surreal.
      -Old Josie Fremont Coffee
      Not for human consumption.
      -Package of dice Things People Said
      Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue.
      -PC Computer BIOS Dumb Warnings
      Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
      -Robert A. Heinlein Robert A. Heinlein Quotes
      One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a
      null word.
      -Robert A. Heinlein Robert A. Heinlein Quotes
      One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
      -Robert A. Heinlein Robert A. Heinlein Quotes
      Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
      good time.
      -Rome laundry GNU Foreign Signs
      I'm in a glass cage of emotion.
      -Ron Burgundy Wikiquote: Anchorman
      Suitable for vegetarians.
      -Sainsburys Mineral Water Dumb Warnings
      May irritate eyes.
      -Self-defense pepper spray Things People Said
      Prepare to be annoyed.
      -Sign The Daily Irrelevant
      Unsupervised children may be given a free double espresso.
      -Sign at a Vancouver cafe A Venti of Fucking What?
      Thursday is Ladies' Night
      -Sign at the Quimby Compound The Boy Who Know Too Much
      Who do you have to fuck around here to get a date?
      -Some comedian
      Just when you thought life couldn't suck any worse.
      -Soygirl Soygirl
      For your safety, please do not exit the tram while it is in motion.
      -Subway station sign.
      Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
      -Swedish furrier GNU Foreign Signs
      Special today -- no ice cream.
      -Swiss mountain inn GNU Foreign Signs
      For your spanking sensation.
      -Thai scooter slogan Engrish.com
      If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and
      don't do milk - you can get work!
      -Tracy Morgan as Mr. T The All New Adventures of Mr.
      If my head wasn't on, I wouldn't know who to screw!
      -Trixie Trixie
      The unwashed touching the golden.
      -Unknown Aqua Teen Hunger Force
      Cats are fun. I like them.
      -Voice Adult Swim
      When come back, bring pie!
      -Weebl Weebl and Bob
      Language is a virus.
      -William S. Burroughs The William S. Burroughs Files
      We keep our shit tight.
      [colloquialism]
      Ignorance is blistering.
      [researching]
      That show was delightful. No. No. It was brilliant. No, no, no, no.
      There is no word to describe its perfection, so I am forced to make
      one up. And I'm going to do so right now. Scrumtrilescent.
      - Will Ferrell as James Lipton SNL parody of "Inside the
      Actor's Studio" SNL Transcripts
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