My favorite! Cannibalism!!
- Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I
just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've
roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried
every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place
at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope
around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring
of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very
hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge
fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the
missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary was incredulous, and said, "What's wrong with
you? We're being boiled alive! They're going to eat us! What could
possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The laughing missionary said, "I just peed in their soup!"
These two cannibals kill a missionary. They argue for a while about
how to divide him up, when finally, one of them says, "Okay. You
start at the head and I'll start at the feet."
So they begin their tasty feast. After a while one of them
says, "Hey, this is really great. I'm having a ball."
"Slow down!" cries the other cannibal "You're eating too fast!"
One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals.
There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting
cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?"
The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of
A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with
spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy
calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me,
but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."