22209My girl stolen by CPS on lies & is now being abused in foster care
- Dec 17, 2011My daughter was taken into foster care back in January. The social worker lied and said that I admitted to stuff that I would have not only never have done, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to admit to it if I had.
Since my daughter was taken, she has constantly said she wanted to come home. She was 14 years old when she was taken. She is now 15.
The judge said she did not care whether it happened or not. And so now I am considered a child abuser for things I never did. They never had to prove anything. I was guilty without a chance to prove my innocence.
I worked hard on my case plan. They kept lying to my daughter and telling her that I did not want her and was not doing anything to get her back. She would say she wants to go home, and they would ask her why she wants to live with a child abuser. They constantly praised her father to her and kept talking about "when" she would go live with him. She kept telling everyone that she did not want to live with him.
Her father is very violent. I fled the home with her back when she was a baby. His visitation rights had been terminated because he was so violent. However, she is not scared of him. She does not know him. He lives in another state. She didn't want to be sent hundreds of miles away from all of her friends and family. And they said that was because she had a mental illness and claim that I caused her to have this mental illness. How many normal people would want to be uprooted from their homes and shipped off to a strange place hundreds of miles away? Well, if you are one of those people who would not want to, then according to the government you are mentally ill.
Finally, in August they started allowing my girl to have overnights with me. She was so excited. I was too stunned to feel excited, because the case worker kept telling me that she was going to go live with her father. I was even sent to a therapist after she was taken that tried to convince me that termination of parental rights is not bad, and that I needed to walk away from my daughter. She told me to move on and create a new life for myself. I never went back to that therapist again. I have gone through hell and back to take care of my daughter since she was a baby, and there was no way someone was going to talk me into giving up on her. So, I was stunned at even having her and feeling guilty because I wasn't more excited. The whole first weekend I kept expecting them to knock on the door, say it was a mistake, and take her away again.
Well, several months ago my girl had started asking me questions about the past. She had started these therapy sessions with her father. She explained to me during supervised visits what was going on in the sessions. In one of them, the therapist asked her what she knew about why her mom and dad weren't together. My daughter did not know. That is because I tried not to talk about things like that around her while she was growing up, contrary to what the government has been saying. (They are accusing me of alienating her from her father who didn't even have visitation rights!) He did horrific acts of abuse on me starting when I was not much older than my daughter is right now, and talking about it is very upsetting. The therapist asked him to explain to her what had happened. He told her that he didn't know, that he just came home from work and we were gone. (Not true by a long shot. I almost got killed getting away!) The therapist turned back to my daughter and said, "Your mother is mentally ill. She probably left because she is mentally ill." So, the therapy sessions have been about convincing my daughter that her mother is psychotic and that she needs to go live with someone who has been out of her life since she was a baby. They have not said a nice thing about me to my daughter since she was taken. Their goal has been to break her down until she wants to live with her father and get her to where she doesn't want anything to do with me.
For a long time she had no idea the allegations against me. She found out some of it because her father told her. Ever since she learned the lies used to take her from her home, she has been telling everyone who will hear her voice that I was falsely accused, even though I begged her not to at first. I was scared of their retaliation against her since they were so hardset towards sending her hundreds of miles away. She was showing up to visitation upset over what they'd been doing to her. I was doing all I could to reassure her that they were lying, I wanted and loved her, and that I wanted her home.
Well, fast forward to November. I get last minute notice of a foster care review board meeting. The supervisor was there saying that she intended to place her back in the home with me in January. I was stunned but hopeful. I shared with my daughter what she had said.
They promised us that she would spend Christmas holidays with me. They would ask frequently at therapy sessions what we were planning for the holidays. My daughter and I were already making plans. We were so excited. And we were talking about all the wonderful things we'd do together after she got placed back with me. We both believed that the nightmare was almost over and that my baby was finally coming home where she belongs.
Well, then we have another court date. On December 12th the same social worker who lied on me before lied and said that I was abusing my daughter on weekend visits and that her grades had dropped substantially because of it. The judge terminated our Christmas together and told me I had no one to blame but myself. But, it was all a lie!
At the first marking period, my daughter was not doing so well in a couple of her classes. That was because the foster mom would not take her to the library and such so that she could do her work! There was this huge summer reading assignment, and she failed it miserably because she had not been taken to the library. After I found out, my mother, daughter, and I got it to where she was given extra credit assignments to pull her grade up. The people at the school did not think it was fair that she would fail because of the foster mom. After we got involved and helped her do the extra credit. Her grade in English went from an F to a B+ and she almost had an A!
At the time the case worker lied and said my girl was failing, my girl had all A's and B's, and it was because my mom and I had been helping to mitigate the damage the foster home was doing!
And so her father, the one she'd been begging not to go live with, gets her for the holidays. She is being sent to a stranger's house for the holidays instead of home where she is loved. And they had been planning this all along. While they were talking to us, asking what we were planning to do for the holidays, they were planning to send her with him.
How evil does someone have to be to inflict that kind of suffering on a 15-year old child? And they say I'm a child abuser? How is telling a child over and over again that her mother does not want her just so she'll break down and agree to live with someone else not child abuse?
The reason she was originally taken? I had moved to what I thought would be a cheaper location. I had suffered a job loss just before Christmas 2009 and had not yet found a job. After we moved in, I ended up with a very bad illness and was not able to finish unpacking right away. I was on antibiotics for almost a month. My 14 year old wasn't helping unpack anything, so it sat waiting for me to feel well enough and get my strength back. Instead, my daughter complained about the place being messy. I had kept asking her to help me unpack and put stuff up. I was doing it all on my own. And I was still having spells of weakness from recovering from the illness. I was doing it as fast as my body would allow me. The place was definitely not going to stay that way. I would not ever want to live like that.
They insisted that I was a hoarder. I am definitely not a hoarder. I hate clutter. I love wide open spaces in my home. The mess around me at the time was frustrating. I hate moving, but usually I got unpacked way faster than that. Way way faster than that...
Then, the social worker added even more lies to the accusations and claimed that it was stuff that I had told her! Well, the accusations were extremely horrendous. I denied them from the moment I learned of them. The court appointed attorney lied to me that if I just stipulated to my place being messy that the other stuff would be taken out. Well, my place was messy (although most everyone who has moved has a messy place at one point. It should not be considered a mental illness.) I wanted desperately for the lies to be taken out of the court records, so I stipulated. Then at disposition, not only were the original lies still there, but even more lies were added to it!
Here are pictures of my home visit prior to my daughter starting her overnights. No one so far not connected with my case thinks that this is the home of a hoarder. Those connected with the case say these pictures prove mental illness. I keep getting rid of stuff and trying to prove I am not mentally ill. But my denial is painted as proof of mental illness. I have been treated as crazy for so long that I sometimes feel like I am crazy.
I worry for my daughter. She has been subjected to emotional and psychological abuse while in foster care at the hands of her therapist, social workers, foster parents, and I don't know who else. She is not remotely the same in many ways. She used to go out and play with her friends and not worry about getting dirty. Now, if she gets the slightest bit of dirt or cat hair on her, she totally freaks out and is fearful the foster mom will find out. My daughter had never been like that before. When she was dropped off for visitation (when we still had it), she would be upset and stressed out by the things they'd be doing or saying to her. They had upped the pressure to agree to live with her father after she started overnights. They would even put her through guilt trips where they would talk about how many thousands of dollars he had been spendiing on lawyers and here she is too ungrateful to just go live with him. (I seriously liken this to the guilt trips some date rapists use when they go on about how they had bought her dinner.)
The foster parents will do things like criticize the way she walks. They would have her keep walking over and over again saying she has to do it until she gets it right, but it is never right to them. They would then tell her to stop for now and put her down. My daughter started talking all the time about how she was ugly (they keep criticizing her looks) and talking how she can't walk right. Her self esteem is smashed. I kept telling her that she was pretty and walked just fine and that the foster parents were being jerks, but she wouldn't believe me. My daughter had never been like this before she was taken.
I am not a perfect mother by any means. There are no perfect mothers. However, I love my daughter. My daughter has been my whole life since I was a teenager myself. She gave me the strength I needed to escape a very violent marriage. I did not want her to grow up in that type of environment. My ex tortured me often. He was once going to set fire to me. He kept escaping consequences for his actions because he was buddies with some of the cops and magistrates. They would keep saying to me, "I know Kenny. He is a nice guy. He would not have done this to you unless you caused him to be angry." I have been longing for justice for almost two decades now. I realize though that I probably will never get it. And now that the bruises and visible injuries have gone away, they are saying it never happened. And the ones who know it happened, who know what he is really like, have not come forward to help me. I keep feeling like I am in a horrible Twilight Zone episode that never ends, and I hated those films.
Why are these case workers immune to perjury charges? Why are they allowed to inflict suffering on people? What kind of monsters promise over and over again to a child and her mother that they will get to spend Christmas together, when they never intended to allow it in the first place?
Why is it okay to bear false witness against someone in court? Someone explain this to me. Why is it okay for these workers to constantly lie in court and tear families apart on lies? And so many of these workers talk about going to church! They are such hypocrites! They go sit in the pews on Sunday and go in court the next day to lie on people.
Since our Christmas was stolen from us on Monday, December 12, I have been unable to eat and hold down food. I have trouble sleeping. I have lost several pounds. I have no idea how my daughter is doing. I know that she has to be very devastated over this. I wish so much that I could hold and comfort my baby.
We were supposed to be decorating for Christmas last night. Now I see Christmas decorations all around me when I go out and break down crying. My daughter's friends have informed me that she has been breaking down crying at the school as well. My daughter deserves better than this! She is a wonderful girl. Why did they want to do this to my baby? How can anyone do this to someone? We are kind to others. My daughter is such a sweet, compassionate person. What did we do to deserve this? What did my baby do to anyone? She's the type to befriend the social outcast. Everyone at that school loves her.
Why did they do this to her?
I am never going to celebrate Christmas again. My daughter has been treated so horribly by the people who have her, who are supposed to be Christians, that she has gone from talking about Jesus to rejecting God altogether. Whatever faith she had prior to being taken has totally been smashed down. She won't even pray anymore. She tells everyone that she is not a Christian. She does not want anything to do with Chrisitanity after living with these people. It makes me wonder just how bad they are treating my girl. What she has told me is bad enough, but she does not even talk about all that happens. Some things upset her too much to talk about.
Someone, please, tell me why. Why is my girl being hurt like this by these people?
She had been so upset at times that she would be sick on her stomach and have headaches. During visitation one time she told me she had thrown up at the foster home and the foster mom yelled at her for it. Why would you yell at a child for throwing up?
Someone, please, tell me why.