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This is Real! Right off eBay! Buy it NOW!

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  • JayjJacobs@aol.com
    Aloha All Y all! My friend & funny friend, CeceSt, alerted me to this good un. Check out the original in all its iconi-graphics & glory thru this hyperURL:
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1, 2003
      Aloha All Y'all!

      My friend & funny friend, CeceSt, alerted me to this good'un.

      Check out the original in all its iconi-graphics & glory thru this hyperURL:   http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2915039804&category=19270


      Or read my slightly '
      Colorized' cut & paste version right here.  \v/ _________________________________

      Anti-Terror Chemical/Germ Warfare Duct Tape
      Item # 2915039804

      Description

      One role of Heavy Duty, Bush Administration Certified, Anti-Terrorism Chemical/Biological Warfare Duct Tape. Same grade Duct Tape as used by US Armed Forces. As certified by the Bush Administration, guaranteed to protect you and your family from the deadly anticipated effects of various noxious nerve toxins and biological weapons such as Anthrax.
      Used in conjunction with plastic sheeting, it makes an effective and foolproof defense against unwanted molecules from creeping in to your home air supply. 
      DISCLAIMER:
      Warning: Seal is so effective that no outside Oxygen may enter your home. Requires the use of an Internal Oxygen Generator within the home. Oxygen Generator sold separately. Also, make sure to properly Duct Tape your doors and never open the door or you will break the seal. Do not use Duct Tape until you have a several day supply of food and water. As supplies run short, Tape can be used as emergency food rations. Nutritional content unknown. Biodegradable. Use only in well ventilated areas. Batteries not included. Most common side effects include mild heartburn, headaches, cramping, bloating, diarrhea, occasional nausea and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Those with High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Pressure, Diabetes or Pregnant Women should not use Duct Tape. If you are Overweight or Underweight you should not use Duct Tape. Midgets or people taller than 7 feet should not use. Recommended only for Attractive, Intelligent, Height and Weight Proportionate Users. Should not be combined with other prescription medications. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents can be harmful and fatal. Be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery. Use only in moderation, drink responsibly and always choose a designated driver. Over application of tape may result in excessive feelings of euphoria, camaraderie, and omnipotence. May induce irrational sense of patriotism. Use of product temporarily renders user devoid of common sense and ability to decipher the implausible. Consult with your physician before applying. Check with Department of Homeland Security for compatibility with your specific home design and architecture.
      Duct Tape includes detailed 150 page Owners Manual/Operating Instructions. Fully Transferable 30 Year Warranty.
      SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. 30 Second Money Back Guarantee. If not completely satisfied, simply return the item within 30 Seconds for a Full Refund (less S&H and small $100 Re-stocking Fee).  Don't jeopardize your welfare or the welfare of your loved ones. Don't delay. Hurry Up and Buy it Now! Free Pony Express shipping included with Buy It Now. Please let me know if you have any questions (Blondes excluded; Pisces expected).
      Best of Luck and Happy Bidding.


             Payment Details
      United States Shipping and handling US $50.00
      Shipping insurance per item (not available) --

      Payment Instructions
      Thanks for looking and congratulations if you are the winning bidder. Please contact me within 24 hrs with your address. Payment details to be worked out within 48 hours. Payment confirmation within 72 hours. I accept Money Orders, Cashiers Checks or Paypal. If interested, a credit will be issued to offset Priority Mail charges. Please email if you have any questions.

      ______________________________________________________

      Aloha,

      Jayj

      "Be the first one on your block to have your house look like a box."  Captain Rock 'F-I-S-H' Wisdom
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